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How to make long distance dating with a crazy young hot girl work?

viking22

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Matched last weekend with a 26yo phd student visiting fam in London (but studying in Amsterdam). Conservative upbringing and said she’s only slept with two guys the last a five year relationship that ended a month ago last few years of which long distance. Also said she has experienced a bit of sexual abuse in the past so has some trust issues and said she made her boyfriends wait months to sleep with her and that it takes her time to get comfortable with someone.

She was pretty keen bombarding me with texts and later at night unsolicited sexy selfies. She teased me a bit about the age diff (I’m mid 30s) and was generally quite feisty and fun. But made it clear that while she liked teasing me she was looking for something serious and didn’t do casual and said she’d only slept with 2 guys in her life and had just come out of a 5 year relationship last few years long distance.

We went on a few dates and she was very shy and nervous struggling to maintain eye contact but giggling at my jokes and blushing when I flirted with her and complimented me a few times and said she loved the way I look at her and it makes her feel giddy. She froze up each time I tried to make a move. So some mixed signals but after the dates she continued bombarding me with texts and reverting to her cheeky chatty text persona and after midnight when she clearly becomes horny started saying how wet I made her on the dates and again sent unsolicited nudes.

She went back to Amsterdam and was photobombing me with photos of her city and updates on her day. She asked whether I was still talking to anyone on the app. I was vague saying yes but not in the same way that we are taking. She got a bit put out saying she’d left the app after our second date but would go back on the app now. And next day she was sending screenshots of the guys she matched with and of conversations where they’d complimented her. I ignored this but later that evening she admitted she was doing it to try to make me jealous and said it didn’t sit well with her that I still wanted to talk to other girls.

we’d briefly discussed logistics and she said she was often in the UK visiting fam and academic conferences etc and said I could visit her in Amsterdam and stay with her for a weekend in the summer. She also reiterated she wasn’t looking for anything casual.

But it’s hard to take her seriously even though she is young funny very clever and gorgeous.
It would be fun to go on some more dates over the summer and she seems keen but she seems to want to text for hours a day and is always begging me to call her and then gets stroppy when I try to make excuses to get off the phone.

Any advice? Obviously easier to walk away but she’s hot and definitely not boring.

Is it better to make it clear I’m only interested in casual dating given the distance and intend to keep seeing local girls and if she doesn’t like it she can find someone else and say that we need to cut down the texting as I’m not looking for a pen pal and if she wants to hang out she can come visit me or invite me to visit her. Or is it better to just lie to her make her think I’m not seeing anyone else and continue to say I’m also looking for something serious (it’s probably anti slut defence) and just slowly fade the frequency of texting to a manageable level?
 
M

member160292

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Dude, I remember you from way back.
You failed to make a move, rejection isn’t failure…the fear of taking risk is.

If you are a troll, kudos. I’ve been bamboozled
 

typical

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Congrats you found a female AFC with red flags galore !!!.

Women don't "Need" to know you're casually dating other women; they assume all guys are players.

You could continue casually dating others without her knowing and keep her on the hook for future marriage if that's what you ultimately want. Just don't be surprised if the iron goes cold and she ghosts you.
 

Dr.Suave

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She´s a bullet. Dodge
 

viking22

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Haha I don’t think keeping her on the hook would work as she texts constantly and gets pissy if she doesn’t get an instant response and while I can ignore that and any accompanying empty threats and ultimatums I agree that eventually she’s likely to get fed up and walk and find some guy she can dominate as it’s clearly a control thing with her and she wants someone who can give her attention whenever she wants and yield to any unreasonable demand
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Viking,
How to make long distance dating with a crazy young hot girl work?....For my next question,how to nail Jello to the ceiling.

"
 

MatureDJ

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Matched last weekend with a 26yo phd student visiting fam in London (but studying in Amsterdam).
A-dam has lots of "places" for a coed to make a nice side-hustle income:

rld-alley.jpg
Red-Light-District.-Amsterdam-6.jpg
 

devilkingx2

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and said she’s only slept with two guys the last a five year relationship that ended a month ago last few years of which long distance. Also said she has experienced a bit of sexual abuse in the past so has some trust issues and said she made her boyfriends wait months to sleep with her and that it takes her time to get comfortable with someone.

She was pretty keen bombarding me with texts and later at night unsolicited sexy selfies. She teased me a bit about the age diff (I’m mid 30s) and was generally quite feisty and fun. But made it clear that while she liked teasing me she was looking for something serious and didn’t do casual and said she’d only slept with 2 guys in her life and had just come out of a 5 year relationship last few years long distance.
Initially the red flag was her saying you have to wait months to sleep with her and being proud to make guys jump through hoops because of her dark past.

Upon further reading, the red flag is that she's obviously lying about all that BS because if she's sending unsolicited sexy pics she most likely is DTF already. So you can't believe that 2 guys nonsense.

She was pretty keen bombarding me with texts and later at night unsolicited sexy selfies. She teased me a bit about the age diff (I’m mid 30s) and was generally quite feisty and fun. But made it clear that while she liked teasing me she was looking for something serious and didn’t do casual and said she’d only slept with 2 guys in her life and had just come out of a 5 year relationship last few years long distance.

We went on a few dates and she was very shy and nervous struggling to maintain eye contact but giggling at my jokes and blushing when I flirted with her and complimented me a few times and said she loved the way I look at her and it makes her feel giddy. She froze up each time I tried to make a move. So some mixed signals but after the dates she continued bombarding me with texts and reverting to her cheeky chatty text persona and after midnight when she clearly becomes horny started saying how wet I made her on the dates and again sent unsolicited nudes.
It almost sounds like the only thing stopping her from being ready to have sex on the first date is her past trauma. Which can be looked at as two separate red flags.


She went back to Amsterdam and was photobombing me with photos of her city and updates on her day. She asked whether I was still talking to anyone on the app. I was vague saying yes but not in the same way that we are taking. She got a bit put out saying she’d left the app after our second date but would go back on the app now. And next day she was sending screenshots of the guys she matched with and of conversations where they’d complimented her. I ignored this but later that evening she admitted she was doing it to try to make me jealous and said it didn’t sit well with her that I still wanted to talk to other girls.
If you get too invested she will either destroy you or get bored eventually and throw you away.

Be very very careful and tread lightly. Make sure you understand the depths of her crazy, better to not have sex than to get stabbed.
 

BMX

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LDR's are gay and antiquated. Social media hasn't helped this dinosaur trend get off the ground whatsoever. In fact, the opposite now happens.
 

Aristippus

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First, don't waste your time on this girl. She is problematic and not worth one ounce of your energy........ About long distance "relationships". It can be a good way to visit a woman, have sex, and keep her from invading your space too much. Visit. Sex. Go home and maybe repeat on another visit or just a weekend or one week stand (instead of a one night stand). Could be ok for something physical but not good for a steady girlfriend.
 
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