Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Flirting is natural. It happens. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what you're asking. What makes you assume that she actually cares how you feel about her "flirting" with another guy? In my opinion, you are over thinking this entire situation. Step back, and continue to talk to her however you were before, but at the same time, continue to talk to other girls as well.johnnysmith2224 said:I was having this flirty conversation with this girl, and I ended up hearing that she also kinda did a similar thing to another guy, but to a lesser extent. I think she feels bad because she thinks I think she's a creep, so is there a way for me to ensure that she knows I don't look at her that way and that I don't mind? We're both in high school.
Let me see if I get this right. You don't want her to think you minded her flirting with you, yet you are going to cut contact with her??? Now she WILL definitely think that her flirting offended you (which I still don't see why she would think such a thing in the first place). Just talk to her bro, quit over thinking everything. No Jedi mind tricks are needed here.johnnysmith2224 said:I don't want her to think that I minded her flirting with me... because I honestly enjoyed it. Idk. I'll cut contact for a few days and see if she contacts me I suppose.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Don't get me wrong here, nothing bad with asking her to your house. That's great, you took the initiative like Amante said too. HOWEVER, personal opinion here, asking her to your HOUSE might have been the problem. Believe it or not, a lot of girls hear house and instantly assume SEX. Which, could have been the reason why she seemed receptive to the idea initially, but later backed out. She got scared. Ask her to the movies, dinner, beach, etc. If she accepts, awesome. Let her get comfortable around you first then ask her back to your place. If she declines all requests, just back off. She lost interest, move on. Good luck.johnnysmith2224 said:I asked her to cOme to my house
Explainjohnnysmith2224 said:but offers me other times for me to offer?
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Like I said earlier, you're over-thinking everything. If she gives you an open day, take it. YOU make the plans. Don't ask her what she want's to do and what time to do it. This will just give her an opportunity to flake out. She's free Saturday? Tell her, "X if having a party, pick you up at 9."(party) "I'll make reservations for X at 9, pick you up at 8." (dinner) "X is playing at 9, pick you at 8."(movie) The difference is I'm not asking her if she want's to do X, I'm telling her to do X. If she declines, she's not interested. Waste your time and energy on something/someone else.johnnysmith2224 said:And by offering other times, I mean by her pretty much saying "weekends before this time but not this day blah blah blah would be a little better."