"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How to live.

Gubby

Master Don Juan
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Let's split up success into two: social and worldly. That is, the friends and lovers, and the jobs and skills and things you do.

As children, these things are easy. (The things we do and the relationships we have at that age, anyway). You just do it. As you grow up, though, and become conscious of others, you see how others are better than you in some way and you want what they have. You try and have what they have, but when you can't, it breaks your spirit. The instinct to imitate others overrules your instinct to do things, *just do* things, and you become self-conscious and grounded.

When you do things and socialise, you don't do things to be great at the things you do, you do them because you enjoy the process of improving; and you don't socialise to get to a goal of intimacy, you do it because you are having fun with the person in the here and now. This is the only way that works.

It doesn't matter what other people think of you. It's not to get to some level in other people's eyes, it's to improve. When you do things just for yourself, there will come a time when someone says, "OMG, I wish I was as good as you!", but you don't feel smug, because you know that there is nothing special to what you do. Even when everyone in the world envies you and considers you a genius, there is nothing special to what you do, and in most cases you should realise that, because the process that gets you there necessarily involves this spirit of doing it for your own sake and not for how others think of you.

Focus on the here and now. Forget about beating others. Whatever you do, it is right. Just live life.

(Sorry for the stream-of-consciousness writing, I formed this idea fully just now and wanted to get it out of my head as soon as I could ;) )
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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i am me

Master Don Juan
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good ****...except in sports when it really is about being better than others
 
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