Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

How to live.

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
Let's split up success into two: social and worldly. That is, the friends and lovers, and the jobs and skills and things you do.

As children, these things are easy. (The things we do and the relationships we have at that age, anyway). You just do it. As you grow up, though, and become conscious of others, you see how others are better than you in some way and you want what they have. You try and have what they have, but when you can't, it breaks your spirit. The instinct to imitate others overrules your instinct to do things, *just do* things, and you become self-conscious and grounded.

When you do things and socialise, you don't do things to be great at the things you do, you do them because you enjoy the process of improving; and you don't socialise to get to a goal of intimacy, you do it because you are having fun with the person in the here and now. This is the only way that works.

It doesn't matter what other people think of you. It's not to get to some level in other people's eyes, it's to improve. When you do things just for yourself, there will come a time when someone says, "OMG, I wish I was as good as you!", but you don't feel smug, because you know that there is nothing special to what you do. Even when everyone in the world envies you and considers you a genius, there is nothing special to what you do, and in most cases you should realise that, because the process that gets you there necessarily involves this spirit of doing it for your own sake and not for how others think of you.

Focus on the here and now. Forget about beating others. Whatever you do, it is right. Just live life.

(Sorry for the stream-of-consciousness writing, I formed this idea fully just now and wanted to get it out of my head as soon as I could ;) )
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

i am me

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
885
Reaction score
1
good ****...except in sports when it really is about being better than others
 
Top