so, I've been seeing this girl for a while now. I'm 25 and I've known her since high school. I've always known she had a thing for me but honestly I wasn't that attracted to her. About a year ago we started dating. At first I just wanted sex, but now I'm really starting to care about her. The problem is she has pretty much been begging to be my girlfriend for months and I wouldn't do it. Then she started to do a fade away on me. she stood me up a couple of times, always had a good excuse, but I knew what was going on. I got really mad and cussed her out. Then she promised she would come see me and was all like i cant wait to see you and all that for a week. The day she is supposed to come over she says its her friends birthday and she wants to stop by her party before she comes. Ok no problem. Then she stands me up again won't answer the phone and I send her a message cussing her out again, No response. So I send her another message finally broke down and txt her I was falling for her about 3-4am. She txts me in morning all upset says she got drunk at the party and slept with someone else, but she begs me for another chance. It hurt pretty bad, but she's been at my house everyday she could since then doing whatever I ask to try and make it up to me. I can't be with her forever she just isn't attractive enough plus she cant have kids and i want them one day. Also i'm not sure i could ever trust her now. But, i do really care a lot about her plus she's the only one banging me on the regular. There have been some 1 night stands and banged a couple hookers during this whole time but no one else i really cared about or had rapport with. The Question is is there a way for me to keep this going for a while longer without both of us getting really hurt, or should i just break it off now before that happens?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
how to keep the plate spinning
- Thread starter PAR420
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
looks like its your only plate, dude one thing I find more easy about the spin plates is if you lose a plate, get a new one, you shouldn't care if she is going ghost on you now because you should have other plates and wouldn't care
Thats not really the issue. I know i need to spin more plates i always need to spin more plates, and im working on 2-3 prospects. The question is can i keep spinning this one until i get some better options without feeling like a total douche. I know she wants to get serious but i dont. But i dont wanna give up my steady peice until ive got some more lined up. I could just lie about it, but i dont wanna do that, its not right. Any suggestions on how to do it without lieing to her?
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Keep banging her until your situation improves with more girls. You don't need to get into specifics with her. If she presses for a relationship you are not willing to enter, you walk. Plain and simple. As an eye opener: she's probably banging others on the side as well. She has no problems doing guys on-the-fly, as her party sexcapade demonstrated.
Stop caring too much, limit your information sharing, and walk when you are satiated with her. It's about all you can do.
Stop caring too much, limit your information sharing, and walk when you are satiated with her. It's about all you can do.
Ya your right man thx. I guess i already knew that i just wanted to hear it from somone else. Oh and i was never expecting her to be exclusive with me just honest about it. What bothered me was her swaering up and down she was coming to see me then going and banging somone else, but im over it now. Just trying to figure out where to go from here.
Need to get out and meet more girls i live in a big college town, and there are more hb10s running around than you can shake a stick at. Im gonna bag one and get her pregnant just for good genes even if it doesnt work out for an ltr. Been thinking about taking some classes in the evenings not only to meet girls but to further my education as well.
Need to get out and meet more girls i live in a big college town, and there are more hb10s running around than you can shake a stick at. Im gonna bag one and get her pregnant just for good genes even if it doesnt work out for an ltr. Been thinking about taking some classes in the evenings not only to meet girls but to further my education as well.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.