How to keep a woman around

Glassguy

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Like some others, I have some issues with this. A girl like this is not a good prospect for a LTR. If they lose interest in you because you acknowledge them as a girlfriend, wife, or whatever... That is as big a red flag as you can get. If they're like that, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. You need to find someone who is on the more stable side of the spectrum.

At some point in a relationship, you have to stop running. Otherwise, there is no relationship.
#1 I am not LOOKING for a relationship. I am managing a rotation. There is an enormous different to intent and structure of how I operate.

In order for me to ditch a perfectly good rotation (which I would possibly do) one chick would have to be an absolute unicorn. I am smart enough to give thought to such a thing if the chick just had the right personality, motivation, career, social skills, etc.

I will say that most women in my rotation fit MOST of my desires but what they lack is glaring to me. So that is why I spin them as plates instead of pursuing a relationship. My standards are high and I do NOT need a relationship to be happy.

Men enter a relationship for 2 reasons:

1.) They FINALLY find someone interested in their unhappy @ss and they feel the need to latch on to that chick due to a scarcity mindset.

2.) They find a chick who is worth (to them) to move forward with and eliminate the conversations, dates, hooking up, etc with the other women.

I am not saying there is a right thing to do or a wrong thing to do. It is about preference on what the man wants and clearly is defined (or should be) on what the woman offers.

I am not going to walk past a $100 bill to pick up a $5. Dating is the same way. There are very very few people in this world that offer what we are looking for as a whole to be able to move into a successful relationship with. Yet there are many that offer bits and pieces of what we are looking for and should be treated as such (pump and dumps, FWB, friend zone them, etc).

Yet one thing that is consistent with anything that you do is that it should always benefit YOU and you should always be putting yourself and your needs first in this game of dating.
 

zekko

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#1 I am not LOOKING for a relationship. I am managing a rotation. There is an enormous different to intent and structure of how I operate.
You are correct that my comments are based mainly on being in a relationship. But you did say in your original post:

"It doesnt matter if you are trying to keep one woman around or spin a 4 chick rotation:"

I read that as saying that your tips applied both to LTRs and plate spinning, but perhaps I was mistaken. I didn't think the fourth point applied well to LTRs, aside from perhaps early on in an LTR. If you're going to have a relationship, you can't just keep cat string theory going forever, it destroys the whole point. At some point you have to give some trust - although I would never put 100% trust in anyone else. Because you can never fully predict what someone else is going to do, no matter who it is.
 

AJ84

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Women looking for a man to have a LTR with be fine with number 4 for a little while. Out of all the ways to play that I do feel that 4 is a good strategy and as a female see that one working the best with the least sh*t tests.

However after a while she will move on if it doesn’t progress to what she wants and that’s ok if the guy doesn’t want what she wants anyway. Better for her to move on rather then start pressuring him to make a commitment. There are other women out there.

If he doesn’t want to make her a gf then he can’t expect her to hang around forever anyway. That’s like a guy hanging around as an orbiter and we know what you all think of that. Well, women have the same kind of advice for each other when we see a friend wasting months on a guy who won’t commit. NEXT.

The only women who stick around as plates are women who are seeing other men, desperate women with no options, women who are using the men for something that doesn’t require exclusivity, and basic dumb bit*hes.

All other women will eventually move on and many of them will usually have someone lined up before they officially bounce.
 

Spaz

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All other women will eventually move on and many of them will usually have someone lined up before they officially bounce.
That's merely ur projection after being with subpar men.

I've have 2 plates that's been with me for years.

And before you go down ur favourite route of them being basic b1tches, I assure you that they're upper middle class and probably are better educated then a mere care giver in a health care facility for the mentally ill, that's where you work right?
 

Spaz

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The reason why some people have issues with number 4 is that it is looking at the shadow and not who is casting that shadow.

The shadow is mystery/challenge/uncertainty.

But the person who is casting that shadow is what you should be looking at.

And that guy has abundance. His abundance is what's causing him to come across as mysterious, challenging, and hard to capture to women. But he's not focused on trying to be a challenge or mystery just to keep women interested. In fact, he doesn't care about any tactics. Caring about keeping women around violates the law of abundance. It must be effortless by law.

There isn't any thought process in his head about keeping women interested. The mere thought of having to do something special just to keep women around offends his ego. His mind is 100% consumed with victory in life. And women are simply the spoils of victory. Like when you perform a hostile takeover and conquer a village, the women come with it.

The same way, when you achieve high status in your social circles, dominate your social environment and have everyone admiring you, the women come with it. So much so that there is a never ending supply. So there is no need for a gameplan to keep them.

When you are the king of the environment, you automatically get the girls. There's nothing you have to do. Nature did not make you a conniving seducer who has to rely on tactics (that's a woman's domain). Dominance is the tool that nature gave you. Failure to dominate = failure to spread your genetics.

For the dominant conquerer, there's no thought process in his head about trying to keep women around. Now some guys might be nomads (which is common in the modern dating world) and have never conquered a social environment where every woman was a slave to hypergamy and wanted to fvck/capture him. That's understandable. But that's how nature is. If you were ever the head honcho of such an environment, you would know that abundance = zero effort.

And the more you let women go, the more they want to stay.
True as is in me, myself and I.

But for most here, I'm of the opinion that won't work well or be of much use, it has to come naturally.

Glasses has offered an alternative that would work well for most here, yes, it's not a long term play but it's a play nonetheless that works.

I think that's the intent of this thread, offering a solution to men unable to attain what you wrote.

Edit : BTW that's a good piece you wrote.
 

AJ84

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That's merely ur projection after being with subpar men.

I've have 2 plates that's been with me for years.

And before you go down ur favourite route of them being basic b1tches, I assure you that they're upper middle class and probably are better educated then a mere care giver in a health care facility for the mentally ill, that's where you work right?
No I’m a patient in a care facility for the mentally ill actually. They left one arm free from my straight jacket so I can post on SS.

I don’t feel the need to validate myself to you by trying to disprove whatever it is you think of me. That would require me to care what you think. We’ve been down this road before.

Think what you want, your opinion of me is worthless in the grand scheme of things that actually matter to me Spaz.
 

Spaz

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No I’m a patient in a care facility for the mentally ill actually. They left one arm free from my straight jacket so I can post on SS.

I don’t feel the need to validate myself to you by trying to disprove whatever it is you think of me. That would require me to care what you think. We’ve been down this road before.

Think what you want, your opinion of me is worthless in the grand scheme of things that actually matter to me Spaz.
If its worthless why r u even responding and justifying to me?

Anyhow, I hope you do realise that u r disrespecting ur new husband by continously being online in a man's dating forum.

He would not like that nor would he appreciate that you are hiding behind his back roaming a man's forum.

Because it not only dishonor him but you as well.

Now think on that.
 

MadMan

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No I’m a patient in a care facility for the mentally ill actually. They left one arm free from my straight jacket so I can post on SS.

I don’t feel the need to validate myself to you by trying to disprove whatever it is you think of me. That would require me to care what you think. We’ve been down this road before.

Think what you want, your opinion of me is worthless in the grand scheme of things that actually matter to me Spaz.
You'll have to forgive Spazm. She sees actual women posting on a forum for men as competition to her attention seeking fix. Heshe wears a tinfoil fedora with a chin strap while snacking on the buried turd treasure in her pet kitty litter box, desperate for any form of human contact on SS that heshe has never received offline.

Real life interaction has Spazm on it's ignore list.
 

zekko

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The only women who stick around as plates are women who are seeing other men, desperate women with no options, women who are using the men for something that doesn’t require exclusivity, and basic dumb bit*hes.
I would add to that list women who are commitment-phobes. Some women simply do not want to be in a commited relationship. They enjoy having their own life on their own too much, and their own house. I've known some of these women, and I don't think they're all crazy. But you have to suspect some sort of damage there somewhere, maybe some sexual abuse.

There's also talk in the manosphere of guys who are so alpha that girls will just hang on them forever, hoping they will be tossed a night in bed with them here and there, "They'd rather share an alpha", that type of thing. Any woman with some self respect is going to have to cut it off at some point though.
 

BeExcellent

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I’m following. So what is the opposite of this? Im just curious as to what it would be.
The opposite of this is a woman who invests MORE into her man and who appreciates and values the relationship and exhibits loyalty to you as a result of the upgrade in relationship status.

Relationships are not easy. If you find a woman you are attracted to who exhibits high interest and emotional stability you may find such a woman gives more in a more serious relationship framework. You still must be the man & lead etc., but you can enter an exclusive LTR and actually have a woman who greatly values that and rewards you for it.
 

Epic Days

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The opposite of this is a woman who invests MORE into her man and who appreciates and values the relationship and exhibits loyalty to you as a result of the upgrade in relationship status.

Relationships are not easy. If you find a woman you are attracted to who exhibits high interest and emotional stability you may find such a woman gives more in a more serious relationship framework. You still must be the man & lead etc., but you can enter an exclusive LTR and actually have a woman who greatly values that and rewards you for it.
All “relationships” start off that way...or it seems that way. Lol

It sounds good on paper. But a smart man knows the truth. He begins the life of diminishing returns that he can’t recover from.
 
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Glassguy

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If you find a woman you are attracted to who exhibits high interest and emotional stability you may find such a woman gives more in a more serious relationship framework. You still must be the man & lead etc., but you can enter an exclusive LTR and actually have a woman who greatly values that and rewards you for it.
Totally agree.

Thus my earlier comment about "I will not walk past a $100 bill to pick up a $5 bill".

Good women are out there. Good relationships exist. I dont think they are as hard as they are rare to find someone that is truly compatible. With the right person the relationship will be rather easy.

Its when the people change or become their true self after the sleight of hand trick in the beginning that sets things on a downward spiral.

Ex: Man gets complacent, comfortable and gets fat. Woman loses interest not because of attraction, but from a loss of respect towards the man. The man stopped doing what was attractive in the beginning.

Women do it too.

Not just getting fat, but losing motivation and purpose. Whatever was attractive in the beginning should remain attractive but its important to not change your actions and purpose over time. Thats what leads to a lost respect.

Some people say that women should never cheat. Or a man should never cheat. Its a complex argument because something was done to start the loss of attraction, ultimately leading to lost respect. You cant love someone that you dont respect.

I am a rotation guy but I have no qualms moving into a relationship with the absolute right person. But I certainly dont NEED a relationship with one person to be a happy guy.

Thats the big difference and what separates my mentality from one of scarcity.
 

Dash Riprock

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This is a valid point.. Lets say you dated a chick for 4 months... After four months you gave her exclusivity or GF status..

She loses interest? Isn't that a bullet dodged?

Heck I would say, give her GF status a little sooner than later, just to see what type of chick you are dealing with.

I'm all about making a chick work for GF status, however its about balance too.

Game her too hard.. A chick with options is GONE
I concur with @soulforge here.

Look, if a woman leaves because you agree to a LTR with the woman--that she pursued and asked for--this is 100% bona fide damaged goods.

Women have different neuro-biology than men, despite what OLD and social media demonstrate. Women more than men want stability in a relationship and a MAN they can count on. That being said, when you enter into a LTR you cannot make her the center of your universe. You need to have your own life, friends, and hobbies. Balance is key. It's not "game," it's common sense. If you have to overtly and be cognizant of playing dating games and all that BS in a relationship, you're not ready for a relationship. You're confusing a LTR for an ONS and pick up tactics.

To get a LTR to flourish, you do need to be unique, keep things interesting, be spontaneous on occasion, plan dates, have fun, and COMMUNICATE. This doesn’t mean being a p*ussy and spilling your guts every night, it means being adult enough to talk and solve problems that will invariably come up. This is a woman's #1 gripe and has probably destroyed more relationships than anything else (including mine, though the ex-gf was the non-communicative one)--inability to communicate.

It's really just common sense. Once again, if you feel you need to run "dating game" in a LTR, you're not ready. Keep playing the field and doing the short game.

And for the women, who WILL dump you because they "have you" (yes, they are out there, but certainly not the majority)---RUN. These are the types that only:

1- Are NEVER satisfied with what they have and will always find fault and criticize you until you're a hen-pecked, shell of a man. They are "mad" for "settling" for you because they think they can always do better. Like a bottomless pit that can never be filled.

2- LOVE abusive (physically and verbally) men because subconsciously they find an abusive man masculine, exciting, unpredictable, etc., etc. Like a moth to the flame, they go from one abusive relationship to another. Get punched, kicked, spit on etc and keep coming back for more; same man or different. Educated, hot women too. My recommendation--RUN FASTER.

Good luck.

~Dash~
 
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Epic Days

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True as is in me, myself and I.

But for most here, I'm of the opinion that won't work well or be of much use, it has to come naturally.

Glasses has offered an alternative that would work well for most here, yes, it's not a long term play but it's a play nonetheless that works.

I think that's the intent of this thread, offering a solution to men unable to attain what you wrote.

Edit : BTW that's a good piece you wrote.
I agree. Good piece.

It's just that it starts off with the wrong frame. "How to keep a woman around". This implies action on the man's part to prevent her from bouncing. This is the wrong model. IMO

The idea that one is valuable and the man is masculine, should nullify this approach. It is still playing up to her inflated value. Something that he has to do to keep her around. This really sucks for the man because he will spend the rest of his life acting on "How to keep a woman around". He doesn't have the time for such nonsense.

This mindset comes from the Imperative and compounded by social programming. The woman has more value. Men need to play up, is the message, when in fact, she needs to be the one playing up in the big sandbox. This is an extremely sinister facet of the imperative. It may even display itself in how a man holds his fork when he eats.

Men don't own women. Women own men, collectively, in the imperative. You exist for her amusement, resources and sexual gratification if she deems you fit. How disgusting is that? There is only one way this is going to work. She must come to you for her security and sexual gratification. There is NO other way.

Either she maintains her worthiness or she doesn't. Do not beg her to stay. Open the door for her to leave and paddle her, not so small a$$ these days, and send her on her way.
 

Roober

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Solid post!

I wish your points were focused more on yourself than about the women. Be better, keep a clear head (frame), keep a good attitude. It really isnt about keeping a woman around, its about being the best version of yourself. Attaining a good woman is a mere byproduct of your success and growth.

Numerous uno is critically important, not only for relationships, bit for life in general. It is important to evaluate yourself when your relationship began, then periodically throughout the relationship. You should always be better than you were a year ago, whether it be more income, more resources, more level headed, less neurotic, or any other traits that can improve. You must be able to maintain the sex and your body as well. Ask yourself, "am I better than I was last month? Six months? Year?"

Frame is tricky, and cant always be answered with a simple response...
 

soulforge

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I concur with @soulforge here.

Look, if a woman leaves because you agree to a LTR with the woman--that she pursued and asked for--this is 100% bona fide damaged goods.

Women have different neuro-biology than men, despite what OLD and social media demonstrate. Women more than men want stability in a relationship and a MAN they can count on. That being said, when you enter into a LTR you cannot make her the center of your universe. You need to have your own life, friends, and hobbies. Balance is key. It's not "game," it's common sense. If you have to overtly and be cognizant of playing dating games and all that BS in a relationship, you're not ready for a relationship. You're confusing a LTR for an ONS and pick up tactics.

To get a LTR to flourish, you do need to be unique, keep things interesting, be spontaneous on occasion, plan dates, have fun, and COMMUNICATE. This doesn’t mean being a p*ussy and spilling your guts every night, it means being adult enough to talk and solve problems that will invariably come up. This is a woman's #1 gripe and has probably destroyed more relationships than anything else (including mine, though the ex-gf was the non-communicative one)--inability to communicate.

It's really just common sense. Once again, if you feel you need to run "dating game" in a LTR, you're not ready. Keep playing the field and doing the short game.

And for the women, who WILL dump you because they "have you" (yes, they are out there, but certainly not the majority)---RUN. These are the types that only:

1- Are NEVER satisfied with what they have and will always find fault and criticize you until you're a hen-pecked, shell of a man. They are "mad" for "settling" for you because they think they can always do better. Like a bottomless pit that can never be filled.

2- LOVE abusive (physically and verbally) men because subconsciously they find an abusive man masculine, exciting, unpredictable, etc., etc. Like a moth to the flame, they go from one abusive relationship to another. Get punched, kicked, spit on etc and keep coming back for more; same man or different. Educated, hot women too. My recommendation--RUN FASTER.

Good luck.

~Dash~
Great post..

Lets say you meet a chick that you develop feels for.

You KNOW you like her.. You KNOW you want a relationship with her, aslong as she is demonstrating good qualities..

However you avoid giving her GF status.. You keep her waiting, you keep her earning that status... From fear that you don't want to come across as too easy.

One year down the line, you give her exclusivity... And immediately she loses interest.. The thrill of the chase is over!

What a waste of a fukin year... Why not just give her the exclusive status sooner, seeing as you both want it.

And if it turns out she is damaged, then atleast you only wasted a few months on her!
 

soulforge

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Solid post!

I wish your points were focused more on yourself than about the women. Be better, keep a clear head (frame), keep a good attitude. It really isnt about keeping a woman around, its about being the best version of yourself. Attaining a good woman is a mere byproduct of your success and growth.

Numerous uno is critically important, not only for relationships, bit for life in general. It is important to evaluate yourself when your relationship began, then periodically throughout the relationship. You should always be better than you were a year ago, whether it be more income, more resources, more level headed, less neurotic, or any other traits that can improve. You must be able to maintain the sex and your body as well. Ask yourself, "am I better than I was last month? Six months? Year?"

Frame is tricky, and cant always be answered with a simple response...
Great post.. Too often men become lazy, too comfortable.. Quit the gym.. Let the social life go down the toilet.

SHE becomes his everything.. I am seeing this at the moment with a work colleague.

The man has gone from smashing it in the gym, awesome diet.. Very social.

Since he met this chick... He got FAT.. Lazy, boring..

Its just a matter of time, till she loses attraction.
 

Dash Riprock

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Great post..

Lets say you meet a chick that you develop feels for.

You KNOW you like her.. You KNOW you want a relationship with her, aslong as she is demonstrating good qualities..

However you avoid giving her GF status.. You keep her waiting, you keep her earning that status... From fear that you don't want to come across as too easy.

One year down the line, you give her exclusivity... And immediately she loses interest.. The thrill of the chase is over!

What a waste of a fukin year... Why not just give her the exclusive status sooner, seeing as you both want it.

And if it turns out she is damaged, then atleast you only wasted a few months on her!
You do need to make them earn it but if I had to put a number on it, I'd say 3-6 months in you should know if she's a keeper and worth the effort or not.

Most women wont put up with a non-committal man for long if she's looking for a LTR.

I know many men who have let good women walk because they continued to play dating games or just didn't want to commit. Your goals have to be in alignment with her's if you want a LTR.
 

Epic Days

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Great post.. Too often men become lazy, too comfortable.. Quit the gym.. Let the social life go down the toilet.

SHE becomes his everything.. I am seeing this at the moment with a work colleague.
No man is immune to this in a marriage or LTR. His biology gets in the way. I will post on this soon.

He, tiny increment by tiny increment, gets reduced by the process.
 

Epic Days

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Most women wont put up with a non-committal man for long if she's looking for a LTR.
Lets logic this out. First off I agree with you completely.

So lets take a woman who is looking for an LTR. What is she after? What does an LTR give her?
Why do women jumping off the carousel suddenly want an LTR?

What are these women after and why would a man consider her marriage material?

If a young woman decides she wants to consolidate early, then I deem her a reasonably intelligent woman. Up to a point. Some poor girls will want an LTR to get up and out of her own hell. Can't blame them at all.

An LTR gives them a secure base. From there, she can operate safely. I heard a young woman, a friend of the family, talk about getting a guy. She's been on the carousel since before she graduated from high school. I believe she is 27 now. You would never know what her beliefs are unless you heard them coming from her own mouth.

Her beliefs: by securing a reasonably wealthy, attractive man, no matter what happens, shes cared for from that point on. She clearly stated after that, "What happens after that is no big deal." Those were her words. It's not about building a relationship. It's about obtaining a secure base while she continues to radar scan the opportunities, just in case Mr. Fantastic comes around or she can capitalize on a higher position to survive.

Women do not see men. She can see a six pack but she does not see the man. So why does she want an LTR? After all, she doesn't even see him. She doesn't give a rat's a$$ about a relationship. She wants home base.

Women talk about relationships. This is a complete illusion. She wants the high intense emotions to last the rest of her life. Of course her endocrine system will burn out and she will die if that happened. But "relationship" enters the dynamic when she begins to see home base. But her desire to go up to the next level will never leave her. You will always be compared to other men even after you are dead.
 
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