"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

How To Have Sex

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
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Location
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In case any of you sosoavers happen to be one of those poor Muslim refugees in Germany wondering how people have sex, a German site has come to the rescue.

http://www.zanzu.de/en/themes/sex

And just in case you aren't sure what to do when that little pole between your legs gets stiff, here's a play by play of all of your different options (including masturbation for those of you poor immigrants without any game):

http://www.zanzu.de/en/kinds-sex

Masturbation means giving yourself sexual pleasure by stimulating your own body, especially the vagina, ****oris, penis, nipples or anus, with your hands or sex toys. Partners can also masturbate each other.
Anal sex (anal sexual intercourse) is sex with penetration of someone’s anus with a hard penis. A man or woman can also penetrate the anus with his/her finger or caress it.
All paid for by the kind German taxpayers.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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