How to handle this type of response...

[Smartone84]

Might be more simple than I think, but I kinda like this chick and want to execute things correctly. Been talking to a woman I met through friends. Seen each other a few times over the years. Nice vibe we have going and the last time we came across each other there was some subtle flirting. Took the chance at asking her out later that night for the following week (This Thursday) to which she responded simply asking "what time?" but then throwing in an additional text that she'd have to confirm with her friend what day they are going out for the friends birthday. I told her no problem, but that 6:30pm would work. She later "Loved" that response and then we chatted about something else briefly. Five days later (today) she gets back to me saying good morning and how this week is "kinda hectic lol" her friend actually wants to go out both Thursday AND Friday for her birthday, "so maybe next week?"

Just not sure what to make of it but it sounds a bit bogus. Like of course the birthday night would end up being on Thursday, but its as if the Friday part is made up to almost make it seem like its not obvious that she's trying to blow me off for the specific day I chose. Even if its all true or partially true, I can understand how her good friends birthday would come first, but at the same time I don't really feel like a priority. If I did, I feel like she'd throw out any actual day, even if it were this coming weekend or something to that affect, or at least would be more certain in her words by saying something like "Lets do next week" instead of "Maybe next week". What do you all feel and what would you actually respond with? TIA

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Her: "so maybe next week?"
You: Maybe, if you play your cards right (Smirk emoji)

But this is low interest. Forget about her and focus your energy on other girls.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I usually give people a second chance since things do come up, but the lack of a concrete reschedule and no real reassurance she still wants to see you suggests she might not be that interested in you and that she might be keeping you as an orbiter.

No need to eject completely though, just match her energy and let her come back with something more definite. Women come and go, so keep it moving in the meantime.

 

[Lauel]

Might be more simple than I think, but I kinda like this chick and want to execute things correctly. Been talking to a woman I met through friends. Seen each other a few times over the years. Nice vibe we have going and the last time we came across each other there was some subtle flirting. Took the chance at asking her out later that night for the following week (This Thursday) to which she responded simply asking "what time?" but then throwing in an additional text that she'd have to confirm with her friend what day they are going out for the friends birthday. I told her no problem, but that 6:30pm would work. She later "Loved" that response and then we chatted about something else briefly. Five days later (today) she gets back to me saying good morning and how this week is "kinda hectic lol" her friend actually wants to go out both Thursday AND Friday for her birthday, "so maybe next week?"

Just not sure what to make of it but it sounds a bit bogus. Like of course the birthday night would end up being on Thursday, but its as if the Friday part is made up to almost make it seem like its not obvious that she's trying to blow me off for the specific day I chose. Even if its all true or partially true, I can understand how her good friends birthday would come first, but at the same time I don't really feel like a priority. If I did, I feel like she'd throw out any actual day, even if it were this coming weekend or something to that affect, or at least would be more certain in her words by saying something like "Lets do next week" instead of "Maybe next week". What do you all feel and what would you actually respond with? TIA

Doesn't look positive. Should put energy somewhere else, or on yourself!

 

[JST8828]

Low interest. Wouldn't waste my time worrying about someone that clearly isn't excited about going. If she were, she wouldn't have said maybe she would have chose another day and said she will stick to it.

I want to say send one final text at some point next week to see if she puts her money where her mouth is about going out, but really probably best to just match her low energy and see if she comes to you. You did what you were supposed to do, she basically rejected the idea and didn't give a true counter. No need for you to go in again.

 

[The Duke]

This is low interest. She isn't going to say no, for fear of repercussion and she gets a dopamine hit every time a guy texts her. She isn't going to say yes because she isn't interested.

Anything other than a YES is a no.

When women seem confusing, its because they aren't interested. A woman that is highly interested will never leave you confused.

Its really as simple as that fella's, don't make it harder than it is by playing into their hand. They love free attention as much as we love free, no strings attached sex with random hotties.

 

[Smartone84]

This is low interest. She isn't going to say no, for fear of repercussion and she gets a dopamine hit every time a guy texts her. She isn't going to say yes because she isn't interested.

Anything other than a YES is a no.

Anything I can do to turn it around iyo? I had wrote back that sounds fine and that next week works and she hearted that and said "Ok perfect!", but I don't plan on reaching back out.

 

[The Duke]

Anything I can do to turn it around iyo? I had wrote back that sounds fine and that next week works and she hearted that and said "Ok perfect!", but I don't plan on reaching back out.

Seek out other girls is the best thing. Spend your time on better prospects.

 

[pipeman84]

Been talking to a woman I met through friends. Seen each other a few times over the years.

This indicates that she's not romantically interested in you. Women who are interested put themselves in your orbit.

What do you all feel and what would you actually respond with?

I'd send her a simple message on Sunday: 'Hi. when are you free to meet up this coming week?' if she doesn't offer something concrete, I'd forget about her.

 

[Smartone84]

I'd send her a simple message on Sunday: 'Hi. when are you free to meet up this coming week?' if she doesn't offer something concrete, I'd forget about her.

Thanks, but at this point the ball is in her court in my view. Its one thing if we had already gone out once or twice and had a really nice date/dates and I had invested some actual time in that sense, but if a woman won't even go out period with me, on one simple date, it just says a lot. I did what I did. I saw some positive signs and even some flirting, decided to invite her out to a nice bar where obviously I would have also treated, and I was met with what felt like was hesitancy after that moment. Attention wh0re. Very sad tbh.

 

[Velasco]

some of the girls i’ve gotten with have given me this flakey type of sh1t over text before we ended up banging. funnily enough it’s right before i was about to give up that they ended up being available. so yeah

had wrote back that sounds fine and that next week works and she hearted that and said "Ok perfect!",

from here reach out next week on thurs or friday. if she said next week then you already know she’ll turn down ur availability for sun-wed.

still i wouldn’t be surprised if she hits u up on one of those days she’s celebrating her friends party, seeing if ur still up. from her alcohol induced state

 

[Smartone84]

still i wouldn’t be surprised if she hits u up on one of those days she’s celebrating her friends party, seeing if ur still up. from her alcohol induced state

Haha given how little history we have together I highly doubt I'd get that kind of text, but, never know. I'll stay optimistic overall though. I still have a tough time with the idea of reaching out to her though. Feels desperate considering all she's already put me through over one silly date. (lukewarm texting, making me wait 5 days to confirm, nonsense about going out for TWO nights for a birthday, etc)

If she reaches out at some point next week with talk of anything other than setting up the night out, I'll pretty much go right to that myself

 

[Bokanovsky]

Might be more simple than I think, but I kinda like this chick and want to execute things correctly. Been talking to a woman I met through friends. Seen each other a few times over the years. Nice vibe we have going and the last time we came across each other there was some subtle flirting. Took the chance at asking her out later that night for the following week (This Thursday) to which she responded simply asking "what time?" but then throwing in an additional text that she'd have to confirm with her friend what day they are going out for the friends birthday. I told her no problem, but that 6:30pm would work. She later "Loved" that response and then we chatted about something else briefly. Five days later (today) she gets back to me saying good morning and how this week is "kinda hectic lol" her friend actually wants to go out both Thursday AND Friday for her birthday, "so maybe next week?"

You are being kept on the back burner as an orbiter or low level prospect. The "friend" that wants to go out on Thursday and Friday is another dude(s).

 

[Lauel]

Anything I can do to turn it around iyo? I had wrote back that sounds fine and that next week works and she hearted that and said "Ok perfect!", but I don't plan on reaching back out.

Nope, with women it's either all in or all out. Either you smash it for a long time as an unstoppable force, or you are a prisoner to your emotions kept alive for dopamine but never rewarded as you might want to seek it. So yep seeking other girls, or improving yourself is a better option here.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

For future situations, go do whatever activity you planned by yourself. Then if something winds up happening that elevates you in any social way, you could say "You really missed out!" if she reaches out about 'how it went.' But even then, she's probably a ONS or FWB. Might have tried the GF in my younger years, but the really fun (and dangerous) ones require more work to get OFF of your berries than on them.

 

[Smartone84]

UPDATE:
I had just wanted to add a little context that I left out of my original post. After she wrote back "So maybe next week?", I responded saying that sounds good, next week works. She then hearted that response (reaction) and wrote "Ok perfect!"

Now I know typically when a woman ever uses the word maybe, it means no. But given her follow up I'm wondering, is it possible she really is just a little unsure about going out and needs something else before moving forward? Just a thought. In any event, its been six days since that last exchange and I have not heard anything from her.

 

[Solomon]

UPDATE:
I had just wanted to add a little context that I left out of my original post. After she wrote back "So maybe next week?", I responded saying that sounds good, next week works. She then hearted that response (reaction) and wrote "Ok perfect!"

Now I know typically when a woman ever uses the word maybe, it means no. But given her follow up I'm wondering, is it possible she really is just a little unsure about going out and needs something else before moving forward? Just a thought. In any event, its been six days since that last exchange and I have not heard anything from her.

I would have said something like "next week sounds good, let me know what day works for you." Then focused on other options in my life or garner more etc.

Put the ball in her court, then back off(which you did the 2nd part right IMO), but her response not hearing from her 6 days lets you know she has low interest

I would then back off and focus on other options. Social Circle dating can be tricky if this was a girl from the wild or online, I would have deleted the number and move on, but the fact that this is a girl from a friend group, I would leave it be if you see her don't act salty play it cool, don't de desperate etc.

Interest=Effort

And her Effort is low, which to me is a disqualifier

On to the next....

 

[JST8828]

UPDATE:
I had just wanted to add a little context that I left out of my original post. After she wrote back "So maybe next week?", I responded saying that sounds good, next week works. She then hearted that response (reaction) and wrote "Ok perfect!"

Now I know typically when a woman ever uses the word maybe, it means no. But given her follow up I'm wondering, is it possible she really is just a little unsure about going out and needs something else before moving forward? Just a thought. In any event, its been six days since that last exchange and I have not heard anything from her.

I don’t think this changes anything really. If anything it was just her being overly nice and doing some damage control, especially since you two are in the same social circle. If she were interested she would have suggested another actual day or reached out again since. She hasn’t. Time to move on

 

[Glassguy]

I would have said something like "next week sounds good, let me know what day works for you." Then focused on other options in my life or garner more etc.

Put the ball in her court, then back off(which you did the 2nd part right IMO), but her response not hearing from her 6 days lets you know she has low interest

I would then back off and focus on other options. Social Circle dating can be tricky if this was a girl from the wild or online, I would have deleted the number and move on, but the fact that this is a girl from a friend group, I would leave it be if you see her don't act salty play it cool, don't de desperate etc.

Interest=Effort

And her Effort is low, which to me is a disqualifier

On to the next....

Agreed. Let her pick a day. As long as youre free, set the date.
If "something comes up" on her end again, just respond with no problem and stop texting her.
I agree with giving someone the benefit of the doubt once. When it becomes a trend, its time to take away all attention.

 

[Smartone84]

Agreed. Let her pick a day. As long as youre free, set the date.
If "something comes up" on her end again, just respond with no problem and stop texting her.
I agree with giving someone the benefit of the doubt once. When it becomes a trend, its time to take away all attention.

Well i didnt respond telling her to pick a day. Just said sounds good and that next week works. she hearted that response and said “ok perfect!”

It’s been a week now and she’s never reached out. With that said are you implying that you’d still give a benefit of the doubt and reach out one final time with a day and time?