How to handle awkward work situation

[Jifto]

Before I get into it: I have several plates going, am not emotionally connected to this women, but need to know how to handle an awkward situation because it involves work.

I met this girl at work through her roommate (a mutual friend) a few months ago. We started chopping it up and I had many, many indicators that she was interested. I usually have a pretty good read on these things and was convinced it was on, but I didn't do sh!t about it because I didn't want work to be awkward.

Flash forward to earlier this week and her roommate told me that this girl wanted to spend more time with me. I pulled the trigger a few days ago and sent her a message saying that we should grab drinks sometime. It's been radio silence ever since.

Normally I wouldn't give an F, she's obviously not into it, but I'm wondering how to make it as non-awkward as possible when I see her at work (which will happen pretty frequently).

 

[Serenity]

Don't be awkward about it or at least don't show how awkward you think it is. Act as normal as you would any other day prior to this. Don't treat her any differently than you normally would at work. If your behavior changes it will be painfully obvious why, if it doesn't you'll just seem like a cool dude.

It will never become a big deal unless you make it so.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Nothing you can do, you did your part by reaching out to her. Just act like nothing happened and make her feel like she's missing out by not hanging out with you.

Weird how the roommate told you she wanted to spend more time with you but now the girl went silent, but maybe you're taking that way too literally and she just meant more time at work.

 

[Trump]

Before I get into it: I have several plates going, am not emotionally connected to this women, but need to know how to handle an awkward situation because it involves work.

OK. We are probably going to tell you to spin plates and and don't get emotionally invested.

I met this girl at work through her roommate (a mutual friend) a few months ago. We started chopping it up and I had many, many indicators that she was interested. I usually have a pretty good read on these things and was convinced it was on, but I didn't do sh!t about it because I didn't want work to be awkward.

So a hot girl is in love with you and you have sexual feelings for her, but you didn't do anything because you were afraid work would be "awkward"?

Sorry to say bro, sounds a little gay. I would smash her in 15 seconds if she was hot.

Flash forward to earlier this week and her roommate told me that this girl wanted to spend more time with me. I pulled the trigger a few days ago and sent her a message saying that we should grab drinks sometime.

A third party tells you the girl, who you have sexual feelings for, wants to spend more time with you?

Most of time men can't act on what a girl having sex with them tells them, so how the hell can they act on what a third party, who wants to make a fool out of them, tells them?

Brutal.

wondering how to make it as non-awkward as possible when I see her at work (which will happen pretty frequently).

If you are going to ask a girl out, DON'T put it in writing. Now she can show her: boyfriend, friends, ex friends, bridesmaids, lovers, ex lovers, coworkers, nieces, and nephews, bosses, and current lovers that you asked her out because you didn't have a girlfriend.

You say "Hey xxx, I sent you a text asking you out. Why didn't you reply?"

Oh, and spin plates and don't get emotionally involved.

 

[That_dude]

I wouldn’t get involved personally. Work is all biz for me.. Important tasks are being handled. No room for drama and bs. Outside of work is the best place to meet people imho

 

[sosousage]

shes probably showing that msg to all her friends and workplace before she responds so it doesnt seem for them like shes interested

 

[Jifto]

Don't be awkward about it or at least don't show how awkward you think it is. Act as normal as you would any other day prior to this. Don't treat her any differently than you normally would at work. If your behavior changes it will be painfully obvious why, if it doesn't you'll just seem like a cool dude.

It will never become a big deal unless you make it so.

Thanks for the response. I'm just going to keep it the same as it was. If she brings it up, I'll just make a joke out of it.

 

[Jifto]

Nothing you can do, you did your part by reaching out to her. Just act like nothing happened and make her feel like she's missing out by not hanging out with you.

Weird how the roommate told you she wanted to spend more time with you but now the girl went silent, but maybe you're taking that way too literally and she just meant more time at work.

Yeah it is kind of weird that the roommate brought it up. It's possible I misread it, but I don't think I did. Either way, it doesn't really matter as its obviously not on.

 

[Jifto]

shes probably showing that msg to all her friends and workplace before she responds so it doesnt seem for them like shes interested

You may be right. The message was pretty innocuous though, so I don't mind if people see "hey let me know if you want to grab a drink on Saturday."

 

[TheGambino]

Don’t make it akward. Act like nothing ever happened, dont be bvthurt

 

[Building_and_Loan]

You may be right. The message was pretty innocuous though, so I don't mind if people see "hey let me know if you want to grab a drink on Saturday."

Honestly man no offense, but that was kind of weak of you.

You should have approached her, in person, and invited her to meet you out somewhere. Sending a message or email to her makes it look like you're afraid of her.

 

[Jifto]

Honestly man no offense, but that was kind of weak of you.

You should have approached her, in person, and invited her to meet you out somewhere. Sending a message or email to her makes it look like you're afraid of her.

Yeah it really was a pretty weak move. I knew better too. My rationale for doing it was that I had many indicators that she was really interested (I won't bother to list them here, because clearly I misread them) so I thought the means of asking her out didn't matter as much. My lesson here was stick to the principles no matter what AND re-calibrate on IOIs. Normally I think I do very well reading these with women, but I thought this one was a slam dunk and it wasn't.

Oh and no offense taken B&L - I appreciate honest criticism!

 

[That_dude]

Seems like it’s turning i

I've always maintained strict professionalism at the workplace. I give them minimal attention and I like to keep myself detached and somewhat aloof from them. Working hard and making money are the only things that I'm focused on.

To express interest in women with whom I work is, in my opinion, risky and disempowering. It's also unattractive in the eyes of such women. They prefer focused, hardworking men.

Bingo. Work should be all biz. Speaking of.. I'm about to go handle my work and stay totally detached from the drama

 

[Jifto]

Be thankful this happened. Now your game is improved EVEN more. If she tries to explain herself; tell her to do a belly flop in an empty pool.

I ran into her this morning and she acted like nothing happened. She was friendly, even a little flirtatious, but I didn’t reciprocate.

Looking back I don’t blame myself for misreading the signals, they were there. What I didn’t do is take stock of how she treats others. I think she likes having a stable of guys around her, but I’m no longer going to be one of them.

 

[That_dude]

I ran into her this morning and she acted like nothing happened. She was friendly, even a little flirtatious, but I didn’t reciprocate.

Looking back I don’t blame myself for misreading the signals, they were there. What I didn’t do is take stock of how she treats others. I think she likes having a stable of guys around her, but I’m no longer going to be one of them.

Good job. Work just isn't the place to look for women. You make money, so you can get out and enjoy your personal life.. Potentially with other women

Anything else just retarded to me

 

[That_dude]

Rephrase.. Anthying else just isn’t a good idea

 

[Jifto]

Well she's back to trying to flirt with me. I've made myself somewhat scarce from my usual spots, but I ran into her and she asked me "If I had been cheating on her" and then just stared at me with doe eyes and didn't say anything for way too long. It was actually kind of uncomfortable. People are crazy.

 

[That_dude]

I’d pay no mind, say hello and keep it moving. Focused on work. Nothing more/less. That’s just me though

 

[Jifto]

I’d pay no mind, say hello and keep it moving. Focused on work. Nothing more/less. That’s just me though

Nah, that is the correct response. Here is my reasoning (sorry computer programmer here!):

Two possible variables: [She's into it / She's not into it] AND [She has been intentionally sending signs / She hasn't been intentionally sending signs] resulting in 4 possible scenarios:

She's into it - Intentional
F That! She sends me all these signs and is down, but she's not down to kick it? Chick is crazy. Next.

She's into it - Not intentional
This is just weird. I don't think its possible tbh, but again. Chick would have to be crazy. Next

She's not into it - Intentional
The leading contender IMO. She's just looking for attention. Next.

She's not into it - Not Intentional
The second most likely. She's oblivious. Can't fault her for it, but she's not down. Next.

The result is the same for all 4.

 

[marmel75]

Before I get into it: I have several plates going, am not emotionally connected to this women, but need to know how to handle an awkward situation because it involves work.

I met this girl at work through her roommate (a mutual friend) a few months ago. We started chopping it up and I had many, many indicators that she was interested. I usually have a pretty good read on these things and was convinced it was on, but I didn't do sh!t about it because I didn't want work to be awkward.

Flash forward to earlier this week and her roommate told me that this girl wanted to spend more time with me. I pulled the trigger a few days ago and sent her a message saying that we should grab drinks sometime. It's been radio silence ever since.

Normally I wouldn't give an F, she's obviously not into it, but I'm wondering how to make it as non-awkward as possible when I see her at work (which will happen pretty frequently).

Just act like it never happened and keep it moving. Its only awkward if you let it be. Never ler them see you sweat