How to go about after fvcking a girl you want to be in a LTR with?

[MattS]

So I fvcked a girl last night that I want to be in an LTR with. I enjoy her company and she says the same. But I dont want to come off as needy. I figure I have a couple options: calling her tonight to see if she wanted to rent a movie, not calling at all, wait till she initiates contact.

If I call her tonight she might think im needy I guess cause she might think wow I just fvcked him and he wants to hang out again the next day and just wants sex.

If I dont call her shell be like well he just used me for sex.

If she calls first it would be a good scenerio but if she doesnt then im out of luck.

Let me know what worked best for you after you fvcked a girl and wanted to be with her.

 

[MattS]

yea thinking ill just call her tomorrow and leave her alone today. she might call today if she doesnt ill just call her tomorrow. The calling to chat thing is something i dont know about as I have known this girl for quite a bit.

 

[COD]

SEND A TEXT..........u will be thought of needy if u call too soon.

 

[MattS]

should i text tonight? If i do im thinking of just saying have a good night. Or should I wait a coupole of days like 2 days from now and call and say hey lets go do so and so...

 

[Dragon]

DonS had the best advice. Follow it

 

[MikeYikes122]

DonS had the best advice. Follow it

Yeah DonS' advice was good, but I think the OP could text with the chick too. Just don't get too long-winded or get into too serious of a convo. Keep it light, then wait for her to contact you again.

 

[MattS]

well i just texted and said "night" no reply but still no big deal. now i will not initiate contact until she does it first.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Cardinal Rule: Always, Always, Always......call a girl you fuvked the next day if you like her. If you don't, she'll feel like you used her for sex and she will quickly change her opinion of you.

DonS said it best......... stop stressing too, your over-thinking and suddenly your cool, calm demeanor will change to a needy, wuss bag.



PIMP

 

[EastWind]

Relationships "happen". It's not something you plan. If you like this girl for more than raw sex, then have more than raw sex with her. If you now go into "Must have LTR" mode with her, she'll be gone faster than you can say "needy".

 

[true romance]

Follow what DonS said !!! worked for me

 

[true romance]

Be a Man, call and talk on the phone, she wants to hear your voice, assurance, comfort...never text after sex. She doesn't worth a phone call after she licks your balls?

DonS you are a step ahead..

 

[Dragon]

Which probably means that since he still can contact her via phone since he only texted her. Then do what DonS said

 

[MacAvoy]

Like everyone else, I agree with DonS, about calling and that the text was LAME. But as for your original question, I'll quote the infamous Anti-Dump

Becoming exclusive with a woman means the both of you talk about not dating or seeing anyone else. The dating with others comes to an end.

Never ask a women to become exclusive. She must ask YOU. She must talk about it FIRST.

Why? If a woman hasn't asked you yet it means she is still open to seeing others. She still has DOUBTS about you. Highly interested women don't want you going out with other women.

A woman asking for exclusivity is like a 'marriage proposal'. She is cementing and laying the foundation for true intimacy.

She wants something that's lasting. It is the ULTIMATE test of interest, guys. She is 'proposing'.

If you ask first, you will never know her true interest level. Why didn't she bring it up? How come she is still letting you see others? Why isn't she CLOSING her options? Is she seeing someone else?

Think about it.

AD

Or if you like metaphors better, this is how he put it

You should be free as a bird, flapping around, singing, full of joy with life. Women want to trap the bird and throw it in a cage (cage = committment). When birds try to fly into the cage, wouldn't you think something is wrong with that bird? After all, who wants a bird that WANTS to be in the cage? No, women want the birds that are FREE, WILD, and BEAUTIFUL. They want A GOOD CATCH. Good Catches do not fly into cages. Only wounded or needy birds do.

 

[Mavrick]

infamous Anti-Dump

He's not infamous in my book. He speaks truth.

 

[The Bat]

I am open to other poster's opinions on the subject, but I really have a problem with texting a chick who is new to your life. If you've got DJ skills, then use txt all you want, but if you don't have the skills, it's just a receipe for disaster. When the OP just texted "night" to a chick he hooked up with the night before I imagined all the things she might think while reading it: passive, weak, scared to call, afraid of getting serious, immature, etc.; and from the reaction below "no reply but still no big deal" tells me that even the OP knew it was a mistake after he sent it.

All women want from you is to be a man. Not a club them over the head and drag them by the hair man, but a confident, socially well adjusted man. And the mature, well adjusted thing to do with a woman you just tapped is to call them on the phone; make them feel comfortable; and set them up to chase you by hanging up without another get-together scheduled.

I'm assuming the OP is a younger guy than you. In that case, I think it's ok for young guys like him (and me) to text IF the young guy in question knows what he is doing. The "night" text was pretty lame and you are on the money when you talked about the girl imagining all those things when she got the text.

Making a call does the trick too but college aged girls go fvcking crazy over texts. Just don't send something very erotic because a) it won't come off as sexual and b) she can show it to her friends or somebody could find it and start thinking of her differently....aka make her feel like a slut...which is what no girl ever wants to be called...

Call and talk to her like you mean it, OP. Don't confess your feelings for her but just say how nice it was spending time with her that night. When she knows you're comfortable, she also will be comfortable. Women are reactive. Remember that. That "night" text was NOT a bold move. It's salvageable but just don't do it again.

 

[AlexTheGreat]

Dude do you like talking to this chick? If so, then call her and talk to her. Why else do you want a relationship with her?

The fact that you sent her a text -- and a really lame one at that -- will show her that you don't actually like her enough to talk to her. It is passive and shows her that your interest in her was in the sex, not in the girl.

Is it salvageable? I don't know. You've already given out signs that you're not the man who should receive her most precious possession: her pvssy. Now don't waste any more time, give her a call and don't mention the text at all. Talk to her, tell her you had a really good time with her, and either joke or have fun for a few minutes, but then hang up. And call her a few days later (or let her call you).


If you wait for her to answer your text, you'll be waiting for a while.

BTW, I seriously hope you didn't send her "night" as your text. If that's ALL you sent her, I wouldn't expect to hear from her, and she'll probably be pissed when you talk to her on the phone. Think for a minute how you'd react if you just had a really intense moment with someone, and the day after they didn't bother calling you, and sent you a one-word text: "night". Doesn't feel too good, does it.

 

[MikeYikes122]

I'm assuming the OP is a younger guy than you. In that case, I think it's ok for young guys like him (and me) to text IF the young guy in question knows what he is doing. The "night" text was pretty lame and you are on the money when you talked about the girl imagining all those things when she got the text.

Making a call does the trick too but college aged girls go fvcking crazy over texts. Just don't send something very erotic because a) it won't come off as sexual and b) she can show it to her friends or somebody could find it and start thinking of her differently....aka make her feel like a slut...which is what no girl ever wants to be called...

Call and talk to her like you mean it, OP. Don't confess your feelings for her but just say how nice it was spending time with her that night. When she knows you're comfortable, she also will be comfortable. Women are reactive. Remember that. That "night" text was NOT a bold move. It's salvageable but just don't do it again.

Bat nailed it. A text is suitable because of the OP's age. I also think girls my age communicate more than anything through texts. They don't see it as a sign of weakness or insecurity if a guy sends them one because it is literally how they communicate with everyone in their life. A girl I was dating this summer even texts with her parents.

But a text of "night" is pretty lame, as everyone has already pointed out. IMO, a guy who doesn't have much game should stay away from texting. A phone call is probably the best idea.

Like Bat said, the OP isn't screwed. Call her up, act and talk like that text was never sent (erase it from your mind completely) and tell her you enjoyed spending time with her.

 

[MattS]

Alright well im going to cut to the chase. I dated this chick before like a serious LTR relationship. And we have not seen each other in a while. That night she was drinking a little but she gave the hints etc that we were going to fvck. So we did. I know how she is. She was extremely opened to anything and saying all this crazy sh1t. I even fvcked her in the azz (when we were together she never let me do that). She was doing that sh!t i think to get me to go after her (again). Thats why I am proceeding with caution. Thats why I just texted the next day "night" just to not make her feel like I used her and stay at arms lengths. Yea if I call the next day Im needy regardless even if i dont ask her to hang out cause of our past. Try to make it short and sweet and take it very slowly. Like ill probably call her 4 days from now to "hang out" and see what she says.

so that probably changes everyones responses. but I already know that people are going to say dont got back to your ex. No need to write that down.

 

[touge]

Call her but do not ask her over. Just chat and make her feel comfortable for ten minutes. Then hang up. Then let her initiate the next contact and go from there.

You need to call a chick you like after you hit it, but to ask for another get together the next day shows her you are either needy, or only looking for sex. Do what I've said and you'll be in. Trust me.

this.. win win situation

 

[The Bat]

Alright well im going to cut to the chase. I dated this chick before like a serious LTR relationship. And we have not seen each other in a while. That night she was drinking a little but she gave the hints etc that we were going to fvck. So we did. I know how she is. She was extremely opened to anything and saying all this crazy sh1t. I even fvcked her in the azz (when we were together she never let me do that). She was doing that sh!t i think to get me to go after her (again). Thats why I am proceeding with caution. Thats why I just texted the next day "night" just to not make her feel like I used her and stay at arms lengths. Yea if I call the next day Im needy regardless even if i dont ask her to hang out cause of our past. Try to make it short and sweet and take it very slowly. Like ill probably call her 4 days from now to "hang out" and see what she says.

so that probably changes everyones responses. but I already know that people are going to say dont got back to your ex. No need to write that down.

Well you're right. This does completely change things. Why did you leave this very important piece of the story out? Is it because we, bunch of strangers over the internet, would think less of you and not give you proper advice to you wanting to go back to your ex?

Bro come on.

I'm sure there was a good reason why you ended things with her. What was (or were) it (or they)?

If you want to keep a sexual relationship with this girl WITHOUT wanting an LTR, then you should make your intentions clear NOW. Tell her that you missed the sexual chemistry and you want it back but you don't want to be exclusive and committed to her.

And if you want to keep a sexual relationship with this girl WITH an LTR, then why would you send her the "night" text in hopes to keep her at an "arm's length" so she doesn't make you "go after her again"?

You're pretty confused right now dude. You should think objectively about all of this before you get into a mess that was the previous LTR with her (I'm assuming it was because otherwise you wouldn't have ended it...feel free to correct me).