"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How to get the guy to call instead of email

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NJGirl

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Ok, so I contacted someone I had a short romance with. There info was on Classmates. We have been emailing and IMing for over a week. My rule is I don't ask the guy out.......anything I can say or do to get him to ask me out?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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flyinshark

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My rule is I don't ask the guy out
I always wanted to know this thing about girls. So why won't you ask a guy out, but wait for him to ask u out first?

Is it that society has always encouraged this, through movies and what not, that it's the guy's job to do that? Is it that u're playing hard to get? Or maybe it's a test, to see if he really likes u..

I wanna know!
 

fillme

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Originally posted by flyinshark
I always wanted to know this thing about girls. So why won't you ask a guy out, but wait for him to ask u out first?

Is it that society has always encouraged this, through movies and what not, that it's the guy's job to do that? Is it that u're playing hard to get? Or maybe it's a test, to see if he really likes u..

I wanna know!
It is the fact that the girl wants the guy to take control of the situation.
 

NJGirl

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Yep, I am one of those girls who likes when the guy makes the first move. But technically I made the first move by contacting him. So, now it's his turn to either let it go, or make something happen.
 

fillme

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Originally posted by NJGirl
Ok, so I contacted someone I had a short romance with. There info was on Classmates. We have been emailing and IMing for over a week. My rule is I don't ask the guy out.......anything I can say or do to get him to ask me out?
You can show interest that you are interested in him. But don't go beyond that. If he really likes you and have the balls then he will ask you out. If he doesn't, then maybe he doesn't like you or lacks the balls. In either case, he is not worthy of your time.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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skinnydart

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You don't have to actually "ask him out". Although us guys may seem dense at times, just hint at it, he'll get the point eventually. Even if it's like "so are you going to that concert this weekened?" If he just says "yeah, how about you" you can say something like "I want to, but I don't know anyone else who's going" or something like that.
 

earthshyne

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Originally posted by NJGirl
My rule is I don't ask the guy out.......anything I can say or do to get him to ask me out?
Obviously your rule isn't working, so if it's not working then there's not much point in carrying on with it, is there?

If you're interested, quit playing games. Ask him out.
 

NJGirl

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[Obviously your rule isn't working, so if it's not working then there's not much point in carrying on with it, is there?

If you're interested, quit playing games. Ask him out]

Sorry- my rule has worked with most men, so I won't change it for this one.
 

earthshyne

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The best description of insanity is to do the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result.

Obviously, this fellow is not like all the others that you've played games with, which is possibly why they're no longer with you.

But, if you insist on these little mind games, then you're destined to be stuck with a man who falls for them. And what kind of fellow is that?

So, you've dug yourself a hole: If you keep to your own rule out of pride, you'll be missing on all the men of quality who have no time for wimmen who play games.

Hey, it's your choice, obviously. Which is more important to you? Your prideful rule, or the potential for a true soulmate?
 

NJGirl

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WHOA! No need to go into some deep-psychological analysis of my life there. I do what I think works for me. I am not playing mind games - it amazes me that you jump to that conclusion becuase I have a rule. Like I said, I made the first move, I contacted him. The ball as they say is in his court.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ScrewIt

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simple, but works ...hey (name), we should go (insert activity here) sometime, give me a ring.

or just ...hey(name), we should go (insert activity here) sometime.

i've had girls do this to me all the time. well did it work in my case? no. I've already lost interest in them.
 

NewMan

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Perhaps he's not interested?

I'm assuming you've dropped all the hint's that your are interested.

If that is the case, there is nothing more you can do - since you will not get off your high horse and put yourself at risk.
 

zolo

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My experience is this, most women are afraid to put themselves on the line and ask a guy out.

It is the same reason a guy wont ask out a girl that he likes.

Sounds to me NJgirl is afraid of getting rejected, so she plays off this fear as a rule, and puts the ball in his court.

My advice to you NJgirl, is this: You started the ball rolling, you finish it.

Let me give you a hypothetical situation. Say some guy initiated contact with you, Is it now your responsibility to ask him out? Because by your logic, he put the ball in your court.

Women want their equal rights, give them their equal lefts too.
 

flyinshark

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Originally posted by zolo
Let me give you a hypothetical situation. Say some guy initiated contact with you, Is it now your responsibility to ask him out? Because by your logic, he put the ball in your court.

Women want their equal rights, give them their equal lefts too.

Amazing! So, NJGirl, would u ask that hypothetical guy out?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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zolo

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That is the typical response of women when they hear the truth

"You sound like an angry man"

NJGirl, the truth hurts, sorry if I hurt you
 

zolo

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No, I don't know you personally, but you are a girl, and all girls are basically the same, and I know girls.

Let me ask you, do you wear heels?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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