She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
What he said. #3 is vitally important. Don't act like a friend, and you won't become one. Don't let this experience drag you down, and make you assume that no one likes you, either. Avoid self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. Just switch up your game with the next one.f283000 said:1. Realize that it is almost impossible to get out of the friend zone and not worth the effort to try.
2. While you are swimming against the tide and fighting against huge odds to get out of the friend zone spending a great deal of time and effort realize there are lots and lots of single cute women in your area that right now are feeling a little lonely, and would love nothing more than a little romance in their lives. Why not concentrate your efforts on them rather than an endeavor that has the odds strongly against you? (fighting the friendzone)
3. Realize the mistakes you made that got you into the friendzone in the first place so that you do not fall into that trap again with other women.
Exactly.Mike32ct said:There is no cure. Focus only on prevention.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Lennyboy said:I think I'm in to deep in the friend zone with this girl.
Any tips on how I could possibly get out?
Just ask her? Try to kiss her? etc etc.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Lennyboy,Lennyboy said:I think I'm in to deep in the friend zone with this girl.
Any tips on how I could possibly get out?
Just ask her? Try to kiss her? etc etc.