Tilex
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2018
- Messages
- 900
- Reaction score
- 1,031
Okay this happened to me two times last week.
Incident #1
I'm at the bar during happy hour, but it's completely dead. I'm only chatting with the bartender who thinks I would like margarita variant #3 instead of variant #5.
As silly as this sounds, I'm calculating which variant has more liquor in it.
I try both and barely get a buzz out of both of them.
After 4 drinks I'm bored as hell and decide to pay my tab and leave. As I stand up, it hits me.... I'm drunk! Not slobbering drunk, but brain zapped drunk. Can't tell a coherent story.
As I'm heading towards the exit, I see a lady late 30's standing by the door waiting for the host. As I get closer, I look directly at her face and see blue eyes, a really nice face, and incredible makeup.
My subconscious tells me to compliment her makeup, but I can't get a damn word out of my mouth so I give her intense eye contact, smile, and leave.
Incident #2
I'm at the grocery store thinking of something spicy, so I'm juggling ingredients in my head like an Iron Chef as I'm browsing the aisles looking for the key ingredients.
Now I'm at the furthest side of the organic aisle calculating sodium ratios in my head and this early 50's lady with her grocery cart is coming up from the other side of the aisle.
I don't get a good look at her face, I just glance and see an old person with white hair.
Now I tell myself I have to excuse myself past this old lady that's hogging up the entire aisle.........great. So I get up real close and say excuse me with intense eye contact, and now suddenly time starts to freeze. Before I even say anything she smiles as I say excuse me, and now my subconscious is telling me to compliment her makeup because all I see is blue eyes, a really nice face, and incredible makeup.
What the hell?!?!?
Both of these scenarios were drive-by interactions that happened in an instant before my brain started processing the attraction. My brain and body were oddly out of sync.
Anyone have a remedy?
Incident #1
I'm at the bar during happy hour, but it's completely dead. I'm only chatting with the bartender who thinks I would like margarita variant #3 instead of variant #5.
As silly as this sounds, I'm calculating which variant has more liquor in it.
I try both and barely get a buzz out of both of them.
After 4 drinks I'm bored as hell and decide to pay my tab and leave. As I stand up, it hits me.... I'm drunk! Not slobbering drunk, but brain zapped drunk. Can't tell a coherent story.
As I'm heading towards the exit, I see a lady late 30's standing by the door waiting for the host. As I get closer, I look directly at her face and see blue eyes, a really nice face, and incredible makeup.
My subconscious tells me to compliment her makeup, but I can't get a damn word out of my mouth so I give her intense eye contact, smile, and leave.
Incident #2
I'm at the grocery store thinking of something spicy, so I'm juggling ingredients in my head like an Iron Chef as I'm browsing the aisles looking for the key ingredients.
Now I'm at the furthest side of the organic aisle calculating sodium ratios in my head and this early 50's lady with her grocery cart is coming up from the other side of the aisle.
I don't get a good look at her face, I just glance and see an old person with white hair.
Now I tell myself I have to excuse myself past this old lady that's hogging up the entire aisle.........great. So I get up real close and say excuse me with intense eye contact, and now suddenly time starts to freeze. Before I even say anything she smiles as I say excuse me, and now my subconscious is telling me to compliment her makeup because all I see is blue eyes, a really nice face, and incredible makeup.
What the hell?!?!?
Both of these scenarios were drive-by interactions that happened in an instant before my brain started processing the attraction. My brain and body were oddly out of sync.
Anyone have a remedy?
Last edited: