"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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How to get out of my head and back into my body?

Tilex

Master Don Juan
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Okay this happened to me two times last week.

Incident #1
I'm at the bar during happy hour, but it's completely dead. I'm only chatting with the bartender who thinks I would like margarita variant #3 instead of variant #5.
As silly as this sounds, I'm calculating which variant has more liquor in it.
I try both and barely get a buzz out of both of them.
After 4 drinks I'm bored as hell and decide to pay my tab and leave. As I stand up, it hits me.... I'm drunk! Not slobbering drunk, but brain zapped drunk. Can't tell a coherent story.
As I'm heading towards the exit, I see a lady late 30's standing by the door waiting for the host. As I get closer, I look directly at her face and see blue eyes, a really nice face, and incredible makeup.
My subconscious tells me to compliment her makeup, but I can't get a damn word out of my mouth so I give her intense eye contact, smile, and leave.


Incident #2
I'm at the grocery store thinking of something spicy, so I'm juggling ingredients in my head like an Iron Chef as I'm browsing the aisles looking for the key ingredients.
Now I'm at the furthest side of the organic aisle calculating sodium ratios in my head and this early 50's lady with her grocery cart is coming up from the other side of the aisle.
I don't get a good look at her face, I just glance and see an old person with white hair.
Now I tell myself I have to excuse myself past this old lady that's hogging up the entire aisle.........great. So I get up real close and say excuse me with intense eye contact, and now suddenly time starts to freeze. Before I even say anything she smiles as I say excuse me, and now my subconscious is telling me to compliment her makeup because all I see is blue eyes, a really nice face, and incredible makeup.

What the hell?!?!?
Both of these scenarios were drive-by interactions that happened in an instant before my brain started processing the attraction. My brain and body were oddly out of sync.

Anyone have a remedy?
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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