"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How to get my confidence back?

L

Locster

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 28, 2006
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Los Angeles
This is the only thing stopping me from bursting into the dating and social scene. I have low self-esteem and little confidence. I used to be confident and social before i got to high school. Bullying and other problems in high school made me lose my confidence. I am ready now to unleash everything i have inside, what things could i do to become a more outgoing confident person?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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A

Ace of Flames

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
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Everywhere you want to be.... I'm like a Visa card
Start by reading the "Uplifting Material" section in the DJ bible. There are some great posts from Pook and others that really get you motivated. It makes you determined to fix up your life. Good stuff.

After that? Get more friends. Talk to more people. Be active in class. Get into some kind of sport or club. Do stuff on the weekends. Learn how to drive. Do something you're good at.

And above all else: Don't let people get to you. There are a lot of stupid people in the world, but don't let them bother you. Getting all agrivated only stresses you out. Stress brings you down in all aspects of life. Its just not worth it. The bullies don't matter, they're just scared little boys on the inside. The problems all have solutions, and all problems are temporary if you can fix them. This applies to girls as well. So what if you get turned down, or even straight-up denied? Don't let it get under your skin. You are the master of yourself, don't let anyone else take over.

.....I'm not sure that last part relates to building confidence, now that i read it again.... but hey, its good advice anyway, so it stays.
 
D

Distant Light

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2005
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New York
I just had a friend I was trying to help out, now he has no confidence. (he said it when we was right in the field and it was time for him to approach) What I realize is you don't need confidence you just need to do it because your going to be building so much confidence before your in the field and when you get there everything is gone or you just can't do it. So your trying to build more confidence and by that time its all over. When you get home you build more confidence again because now your home and your like "Yep next time I'm going to do it" and the cycle keeps going. Best thing is to just go in and approach confidence or no confidence. You will become more confident as you realize you just approached these girls and got a number, kiss, fclose, etc.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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