"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How To Get A Handjob On The First Date In 10 Easy Steps

Googs

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haha I, too, have used this technique before once in the theater (only 2 people on the top row and finished in my empty popcorn bucket) and plenty of times at my house.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Marlimus

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I going to have to side with the skeptics on this one. It can happen, there are loose women. But I wouldn't include this tip in my arsenal. Any woman so slutty that I can get away with something like this doesn't get carried to the movies.

What's next, how to backdoor a girl in a fancy restaurant in 10 easy steps?

I rarely criticize, but come on, man.
 

Heart n' Soul

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Originally posted by catch
ok smart ass, how do you get a blow job in three steps...
1. Pick up phone

2. Call Hooker

3. Pay her when she's done so her pimp doesn't come f*ck you up.:crackup: :crackup: :woo: :D :crackup: :crackup: :woo: :kick:
 

Disconnect

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I got a ******* in the theatre once. I even remember that the movie was called "after the sunset". It sucked, so I made her suck instead. Just make sure you sit in the very back. Someone asked what you do with the mess? Well the answer's simple - right when you're about to bust a nut, make her put her head in your lap and drink up the protein punch. Works like a charm :D.

Oh, forgot to mention - that wasn't the first date. Just saying that it's all possible.
 

dirtyvibe

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Originally posted by catch
ok smart ass, how do you get a blow job in three steps...
1. Cut a hole in her soda.
2. Stick your wang in it.
3. Tell her it's a straw.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Dust 2 Dust

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1. Buy a box of popcorn
2. Poke hole in bottom of box
3. Slip your pen1s inside hole.
4. Wait for her to stick hand in box to get some popcorn and presto.
 

Freddy1

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First of all if this girl doesnt really like you she call the cops.
 

On_the_Top

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Originally posted by Dust 2 Dust
1. Buy a box of popcorn
2. Poke hole in bottom of box
3. Slip your pen1s inside hole.
4. Wait for her to stick hand in box to get some popcorn and presto.
You watch David Chapelle?
 
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