"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How to get a girl to call

TheTraveller

Don Juan
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The girl I'm currently dating seems very interested. We've been on 3 great dates, f-closed on date 3 and looking to get to know this girl more and have fun. Don't get me wrong, when we're together everything is awesome.

She always answers my calls (or will return my call) in which I set up a date. This is not the problem.

The problem is she has not been as forward as some other girls I've dated in the past. Other girls have given their own suggestions for dates occasionally, have called occasionally and especially around or after the 3rd date.

She was over last night into this morning. Should I call her tonight just to check in with the usual post-first-time-f-close-with-new girl call (and is this necessary if they spent the next morning until about noon with me?) ? Should I hold off on calling to see if she initiates? Should I suggest to her when calling her tonight that *she should call me* in a few days and suggest a 4th date spot?

This one's worthy of pursuing by I don't know why or if she's holding back.

cheers,
-t
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear Traveller,
Be grateful for what you got,relax try not to be controlling and there will be plenty more.....When you have something to do she might find interesting,just ring and tell her what you are doing anyhow,ask if she wants to tag along......for the first few dates try and avoid the impression that involvement with you implies ending in svx.
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
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TheTraveller said:
The girl I'm currently dating seems very interested. We've been on 3 great dates, f-closed on date 3 and looking to get to know this girl more and have fun. Don't get me wrong, when we're together everything is awesome.

She always answers my calls (or will return my call) in which I set up a date. This is not the problem.

The problem is she has not been as forward as some other girls I've dated in the past. Other girls have given their own suggestions for dates occasionally, have called occasionally and especially around or after the 3rd date.

She was over last night into this morning. Should I call her tonight just to check in with the usual post-first-time-f-close-with-new girl call (and is this necessary if they spent the next morning until about noon with me?) ? Should I hold off on calling to see if she initiates? Should I suggest to her when calling her tonight that *she should call me* in a few days and suggest a 4th date spot?

This one's worthy of pursuing by I don't know why or if she's holding back.

cheers,
-t
All that agonizing about whether you should call her tonight ot not, and whether she SHOULD be calling you and offering date suggestions is just PUA static.
All girls behave differently in many ways, BUT most behave similarly after the first F close.. It is a mistake to "track" women and analyse their behavior when their behavior is benefiting you, and an even bigger mistake to believe that you need to "work" at dating.

Your mission is to quit agonising and just continue to be the guy who got her juices flowing in the first place - just keep doing more of what you have been doing.
 

TheTraveller

Don Juan
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jophil28 said:
All that agonizing about whether you should call her tonight ot not, and whether she SHOULD be calling you and offering date suggestions is just PUA static.
All girls behave differently in many ways, BUT most behave similarly after the first F close.. It is a mistake to "track" women and analyse their behavior when their behavior is benefiting you, and an even bigger mistake to believe that you need to "work" at dating.

Your mission is to quit agonising and just continue to be the guy who got her juices flowing in the first place - just keep doing more of what you have been doing.
I hear ya, jophil. What I've been doing is actually not work at all. But what's this about most behaving similarly after the first F close? What does that mean? She seemed pretty much the same after the first makeout session as she did after the first f-close (yes, she did have fun in bed) in terms of her personality and how she acted around me.

-t
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
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TheTraveller said:
But what's this about most behaving similarly after the first F close? What does that mean? She seemed pretty much the same after the first makeout session as she did after the first f-close (yes, she did have fun in bed) in terms of her personality and how she acted around me.

-t

Think on this -
You and she go out on a few dates, and then F her around date 2/3/4 . At this point most women have sky high IL in you. You have her in the palm of your hand (so to speak ) .She is strongly attracted to you because of who you are and what she sees in you - your behavior, your manner, your "ways" , your social value and so on .

And what happens next is that most guys start to 'think and worry' about how to hook her without realizing she is YOUR'S to have already.
The next thing they do is to start to act as if she is about to get away .
So their behavior changes from 'intriguing, cool guy' to ' people pleasing predictable boring guy'.

Two months later he gets LJBF'ed .
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheTraveller

Don Juan
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Scaramouche said:
Dear Traveller,
Be grateful for what you got,relax try not to be controlling and there will be plenty more.....When you have something to do she might find interesting,just ring and tell her what you are doing anyhow,ask if she wants to tag along......for the first few dates try and avoid the impression that involvement with you implies ending in svx.
how would trying to avoid the impression that dates end in svx be a good method of approach? Does anybody have any 4th date ideas that do not involve dinner or outdoor hikes or a DVD which were essentially our first 3 (excellent) dates? I was thinking something competitive and active but it's freaking cold and winter here. Skating is out of the question. Dancing maybe but it'd be odd on a one on one 4th date I'd think.
 
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