Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to gain a woman's interest back and not be boring

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few – not the unwashed masses.

image

If you think you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – and wish to continue being so – then skip this. It's too much power for you.

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,811
Reaction score
1,502
Location
Southeast USA
Yes in the very first post I invited her out for a second time and she said we'll see. She replies with one word answers when I ask her how shes doing but asks me questions time to time about my day. Should I just next her, especially if I dont have good game?
I'm not one to ask about text game or OLD game. I'm a bit of a caveman.
Back in the day, I would screen my calls, and if it was a girl I hadn't spoken to in a week or so, and it wasn't a weekend, I'd pick up, and talk to her for a little while, and as often as not she'd invite me over within about 30 minutes or less. But, women like the sound of my voice, so "phone game" may not apply equally to everyone.

To me though, text is impersonal; you forwarded an amusing meme to her? So what? Her grandmother or brother could have done that. If you ask me, the only valid purpose of text is to concisely transmit information. Aside from that, your texts are unlikely to make her panties wet, unless YOU already make her wet. Too many guys have this a ssbackwards, if you ask me, and are trying to use text as a panty peeler, because they're too scared to talk on the phone. That's just my opinion though. I'm sure you'll find a dozen younger guys to tell you how great their text game is; so, maybe I'm just a dinosaur.

If it were me, though, I wouldn't initiate texts or calls to her, but if she texted me, and I was really interested in pursuing something with her, the next time she texted me asking how I was, I might text back, "call me and I'll tell you," and just leave it at that. If she doesn't call, no problem. Always forward. Texting is chicken sh it, though, IMHO.
 
Last edited:

ayydrewski

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
29
Reaction score
18
Age
23
I'm not one to ask about text game or OLD game. I'm a bit of a caveman.
Back in the day, I would screen my calls, and if it was a girl I hadn't spoken to in a week or so, and it wasn't a weekend, I'd pick up, and talk to her for a little while, and as often as not she'd invite me over within about 30 minutes or less. But, women like the sound of my voice, so "phone game" may not apply equally to everyone. To me though, text is impersonal; you forwarded an amusing meme to her? So what? Her grandmother or brother could have done that. If you ask me, the only valid purpose of text is to concisely transmit information. Aside from that, your texts are unlikely to make her panties wet, unless YOU already make her wet. Too many guys have this a ssbackwards, if you ask me, and are trying to use text as a panty peeler, because they're too scared to talk on the phone. That's just my opinion though. I'm sure you'll find a dozen younger guys to tell you how great their text game is; so, maybe I'm just a dinosaur.

If it were me, though, I wouldn't initiate texts or call to her, but if she texted me, and I ideas really interested in pursuing something with her, the next time she texted me asking how I was, I might text back, "call me and I'll tell you," and and just leave it at that. If she doesn't call, no problem. Always forward. Texting is chicken ****, though, IMHO.

Valid point but im not planning to be on the phone with her all the time. My issue I think with her is we text too often so the conversation is/has gone stale. After trying to set up second date she never gave me definitive answer. She still tries to reach out for conversation but she makes it hard to be intimate. There is a small language barrier, besides that we’ve been talking everyday. There wouldn’t be any reason to text back it’s not like I can raise her interest?
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,811
Reaction score
1,502
Location
Southeast USA
Valid point but im not planning to be on the phone with her all the time. My issue I think with her is we text too often so the conversation is/has gone stale. After trying to set up second date she never gave me definitive answer. She still tries to reach out for conversation but she makes it hard to be intimate. There is a small language barrier, besides that we’ve been talking everyday. There wouldn’t be any reason to text back it’s not like I can raise her interest?
Who said anything about "all the time"? The trouble with this perpetually connected generation is that there's no mystery, which there can't be without absence. If I talk to a girl on the phone for 30 minutes, every couple of weeks, and primarily either because she called me or I called her back, instead of perpetually obsessing over my texting strategy, I call that a time saver, especially if her hearing my voice is causing escalation of desire, and my hearing her voice allows me to monitor her response in real-time.

On the other hand, you could be texting her brother, her boyfriend, or an AI program, and never know the difference....
 

Ohso-Phresh

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
420
Reaction score
307
She definitely does have other guys around her since she's told me she talks to them. In this case I should just stop talking to her completely? I feel like I'm a puppet to her now and nothing I can do will get things back on track from our initial spark. Also shes in her mid 30s so do they think differently at that age? She said she doesnt want any man in her life hinting for casual relationships
Yes, stop talking, move on.

Yes you are being a puppet on a string, create a more interesting life for yourself.

Yes they do think differently, beta bucks guys are showing up on her radar where before they were not.

Women say all sorts of stuff, it doesn’t matter and it’s a red herring. They want to feel alive with positive emotions. A guy that can give her that and sex her good - she’ll backwards rationalize. Observe her behavior it is more truthful than anything out of her mouth.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

ayydrewski

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
29
Reaction score
18
Age
23
Yes, stop talking, move on.

Yes you are being a puppet on a string, create a more interesting life for yourself.

Yes they do think differently, beta bucks guys are showing up on her radar where before they were not.

Women say all sorts of stuff, it doesn’t matter and it’s a red herring. They want to feel alive with positive emotions. A guy that can give her that and sex her good - she’ll backwards rationalize. Observe her behavior it is more truthful than anything out of her mouth.
That is what I will do, as of this morning she still tries to remain in contact sending me good morning text and calling me but I’m going to ignore so she gets attention from another beta. If what your saying is true she would have truly made an effort in meeting up with me and made some type of move. unfortunately I would like to make her part of a rotation but this doesn’t seem salvageable

@ShePays thats true but I have talked to her every day it seems to me like the excitement is lost and she is just craving for attention. I’m not expecting this woman to jump all over me but at least work with me
 

The Diver

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
387
Reaction score
349
texting each other good morning
Don't do that. You are not her girlfriend, and you didn't even fvcked her yet.
I never send good morning to any girl I dated, even LTR. It just sounds tacky and feminine.
If the girl sends me Good morning, I reply with something like, "Hey you, don't work too hard today, I don't want you exhausted in the evening " , or, "Yup, looking forward to seeing you tonight" , any s**t like that.
 

ayydrewski

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
29
Reaction score
18
Age
23
1585070597670.png

Here is a little snippit of what I have recieved in the last 12 hours. She used to give emojis and be a little more playful. I cant help to seem she still has interests in me but it could also be a trap for my attention. Maybe it was me who set off friendly vibes to her, probably continue to leave the conversation for couple weeks until things get stable or next her completely?
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,811
Reaction score
1,502
Location
Southeast USA
@ShePays thats true but I have talked to her every day it seems to me like the excitement is lost and she is just craving for attention. I’m not expecting this woman to jump all over me but at least work with me
Of course. How excited do you get reading text? Text doesn't make anyone hot. I would just refuse to do it, moving forward. Text is for transmitting data. Do data transmissions cause you nocturnal emissions? I'm doubting it.

Stop focusing on one girl at a time. Fish with a net, instead of a hook. Just keep moving forward until you don't even have time to respond to the girls who are trying to hit you up. If youre always meeting new people, every day, you'll always be meeting new girls you're interested in, and the ones who are interested in you won't need all the coaxing.
 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,077
Reaction score
1,722
Location
Mile High City, USA
OP,

I've read your same message 1000x on this board over the years. I'll go somewhat easy on you because you're only 23 and have few SS posts.

Here are my thoughts:

1- You blew it big time by "rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck" --only--during your first interaction. This coveys lack of confidence, assertiveness, and sexual prowess to her which is a huge turn off to women. She probably sees you as a p*ussy now for not escalating. In the future, JUST F*UCKING GO FOR IT. Take her drink out of her hand and/or pause the TV or whatever and thrown her back and kiss her, feel her, caress her LIKE A MAN. If she doesn’t like it she'll tell you.

2- You're way over-analyzing this whole thing. A true DJ would see where he screwed up, dump her and go NC, and just move on--smarter. It's 100x easier to start over with someone new, rather than trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube, as you're doing now.

3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?

You said you declined offers to help her kids with their homework. You're 23, so how old is she? Even if she's a few years older than you, say 26, kids don't do home until maybe 7-8 years old, so she had kids when she was...18-19? What does this say about her? Low moral compass, slutty, reckless, alpha widow--already, looking for a (sugar) daddy probably.

Good luck to you.

~Dash~
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

NSX-R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
1,080
Reaction score
652
Location
The land of improvement
I started attracting women when i stopped trying to impress them or change my way for them .
Plus improve your mannerisms, be clean, hit the gym and be successful in your field . If you understand this then women will be automatically attracted.
 

Ohso-Phresh

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
420
Reaction score
307
Of course. How excited do you get reading text? Text doesn't make anyone hot. I would just refuse to do it, moving forward. Text is for transmitting data. Do data transmissions cause you nocturnal emissions? I'm doubting it.

Stop focusing on one girl at a time. Fish with a net, instead of a hook. Just keep moving forward until you don't even have time to respond to the girls who are trying to hit you up. If youre always meeting new people, every day, you'll always be meeting new girls you're interested in, and the ones who are interested in you won't need all the coaxing.
‘Fish with a net, not with a hook’
Ha, Love it !
 

ayydrewski

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
29
Reaction score
18
Age
23
OP,

I've read your same message 1000x on this board over the years. I'll go somewhat easy on you because you're only 23 and have few SS posts.

Here are my thoughts:

1- You blew it big time by "rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck" --only--during your first interaction. This coveys lack of confidence, assertiveness, and sexual prowess to her which is a huge turn off to women. She probably sees you as a p*ussy now for not escalating. In the future, JUST F*UCKING GO FOR IT. Take her drink out of her hand and/or pause the TV or whatever and thrown her back and kiss her, feel her, caress her LIKE A MAN. If she doesn’t like it she'll tell you.

2- You're way over-analyzing this whole thing. A true DJ would see where he screwed up, dump her and go NC, and just move on--smarter. It's 100x easier to start over with someone new, rather than trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube, as you're doing now.

3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?

You said you declined offers to help her kids with their homework. You're 23, so how old is she? Even if she's a few years older than you, say 26, kids don't do home until maybe 7-8 years old, so she had kids when she was...18-19? What does this say about her? Low moral compass, slutty, reckless, alpha widow--already, looking for a (sugar) daddy probably.

Good luck to you.

~Dash~
Yeah Im over her nothing I really say or do that will change things at this point. In what circumstances would you let this chick start talking to you again or anyone with this behavior, she would have to be sending nudes or at least asking to see you again?
 

bcude

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
460
Reaction score
667
Age
38
I would like to make her part of a rotation but this doesn’t seem salvageable
3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?
This is your action plan.

Also, she is a single mother of 35 and you're 23 and she expressed she only wants something casual?
This is a huge ego boost for her to know she "still got it" getting attention from a younger guy. I'd say she's looking for the D from a guy your age and you want to provide the D, so you know your goal. That's good. Now follow Dash's advice after she's been sweating for a while and see if she's on, if not you stop wasting time with her.
 

ayydrewski

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
29
Reaction score
18
Age
23
This is your action plan.

Also, she is a single mother of 35 and you're 23 and she expressed she only wants something casual?
This is a huge ego boost for her to know she "still got it" getting attention from a younger guy. I'd say she's looking for the D from a guy your age and you want to provide the D, so you know your goal. That's good. Now follow Dash's advice after she's been sweating for a while and see if she's on, if not you stop wasting time with her.

You pretty much nailed the age difference and she expressed something casual during our first encounter. She still continues to text me today even for help and I keep ignoring. If I was too available from the beginning giving lots on non-s3xual attention and I messed up my opportunity I dont think that method would work. She knew that we were supposed to meetup today, and her attitude changed through text when I asked her out for a second "date" over the phone. Clearly she could see something is off if I go NC. I would bet she has low enough interest/respect now that she has friend-zoned me. I guess I could go two routes with this:

1) Ignore her forever as all is lost?
2) Disappear for a day. I might even go for at least two weeks up to a couple of months until i get my sh3t together. Then I can resume contact with the woman, act like nothing happened, try again, and friend zone her for b00ty only?

There is so much to game and different approaches you can take.

3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?

How could you possibly jump straight to this route a woman could tell you were hurt when she didnt meet up with you and she didnt make a counter-offer?
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Ohso-Phresh

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
420
Reaction score
307
You pretty much nailed the age difference and she expressed something casual during our first encounter. She still continues to text me today even for help and I keep ignoring. If I was too available from the beginning giving lots on non-s3xual attention and I messed up my opportunity I dont think that method would work. She knew that we were supposed to meetup today, and her attitude changed through text when I asked her out for a second "date" over the phone. Clearly she could see something is off if I go NC. I would bet she has low enough interest/respect now that she has friend-zoned me. I guess I could go two routes with this:

1) Ignore her forever as all is lost?
2) Disappear for a day. I might even go for at least two weeks up to a couple of months until i get my sh3t together. Then I can resume contact with the woman, act like nothing happened, try again, and friend zone her for b00ty only?

There is so much to game and different approaches you can take.




How could you possibly jump straight to this route a woman could tell you were hurt when she didnt meet up with you and she didnt make a counter-offer?
Easy, go find another woman to play with. Rolling stone gathers no moss. You are not rollin’, gathering moss and thinking too much about her, just move on and have more fun.

Interact with her once you are having more fun. It doesn’t matter what she makes up in between, if you are having fun and connect with her in the future from that space, she’ll backward rationalize it all.

The name of the game is FUN. Have MORE FUN in your life. The energy of FUN and playfulness is contagious !!
 

ayydrewski

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
29
Reaction score
18
Age
23
Easy, go find another woman to play with. Rolling stone gathers no moss. You are not rollin’, gathering moss and thinking too much about her, just move on and have more fun.

Interact with her once you are having more fun. It doesn’t matter what she makes up in between, if you are having fun and connect with her in the future from that space, she’ll backward rationalize it all.

The name of the game is FUN. Have MORE FUN in your life. The energy of FUN and playfulness is contagious !!

So what your saying is have fun with playing with her. She keeps reaching out non-stop and asking me for more help today. I lost all respect for her and continue to ignore. I guess if I play my cards right I could be in control of this situation again? I would never want to dump a woman if I know I can lead her on and take advantage
 

Ohso-Phresh

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
420
Reaction score
307
So what your saying is have fun with playing with her. She keeps reaching out non-stop and asking me for more help today. I lost all respect for her and continue to ignore. I guess if I play my cards right I could be in control of this situation again? I would never want to dump a woman if I know I can lead her on and take advantage
A friend once told me this story, maybe it will help.
Imagine you have just gotten sentenced to life in prison no parole and you are the smallest person physically coming into this situation.

Now as you walk in, everyone is staring at you, you are the fresh piece of meat, that is all the value you have. You are gonna get fvcked, it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when, by who and how many.
What are you gonna do?

If you had any sense, you would quickly determine the biggest, baddest mother fvcker and fvck him. At least this way you only get fvcked by one person you don’t want to fvck so that he can keep all the other d1cks out of your azz.

This is very similar to what a women experiences coming into the world. Granted she might be blessed with good physical attributes, privileged in class and opportunity that she was born into yet she is still reduced in a very visceral way to an object.

With all that said, one can appreciate and have a sense of compassion for a women’s lot. When this is coupled to how they organize via in/out vs explicit ‘place in line’ hierarchy that men organize by, the brutality of it would mostly likely shrivel many a boys balls.

So to answer your question, yeah there is a possibility of turning it around with her but most likely not who you are now. You have to get some more experience under your belt with women who want to get sexual with you vs those you would have to convince, coerce or cajole. Starting with a clean slate with new prospects is the fastest way forward.
 

ayydrewski

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
29
Reaction score
18
Age
23
A friend once told me this story, maybe it will help.
Imagine you have just gotten sentenced to life in prison no parole and you are the smallest person physically coming into this situation.

Now as you walk in, everyone is staring at you, you are the fresh piece of meat, that is all the value you have. You are gonna get fvcked, it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when, by who and how many.
What are you gonna do?

If you had any sense, you would quickly determine the biggest, baddest mother fvcker and fvck him. At least this way you only get fvcked by one person you don’t want to fvck so that he can keep all the other d1cks out of your azz.

This is very similar to what a women experiences coming into the world. Granted she might be blessed with good physical attributes, privileged in class and opportunity that she was born into yet she is still reduced in a very visceral way to an object.

With all that said, one can appreciate and have a sense of compassion for a women’s lot. When this is coupled to how they organize via in/out vs explicit ‘place in line’ hierarchy that men organize by, the brutality of it would mostly likely shrivel many a boys balls.

So to answer your question, yeah there is a possibility of turning it around with her but most likely not who you are now. You have to get some more experience under your belt with women who want to get sexual with you vs those you would have to convince, coerce or cajole. Starting with a clean slate with new prospects is the fastest way forward.
Yesterday I actually went and asked her if she wanted to be FWB with me and she said she is open to that. But the entire week she expresses low interest. Short replies and always checking on what Im doing. Maybe she is in her PMS phase, I disappeared for a couple of days and told her that I missed her but lied because I dont initiate convo anymore. How do you tell if a woman generally wants to talk to you vs she just wants to be noticed?
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,811
Reaction score
1,502
Location
Southeast USA
Her:"what ya up to?"

You:"I'd tell ya, but...you know the rest."


Don't initiate.

Reply only once per communique.

Be short and vague in your responses.

If you do happen to be out with some buddies, and wouldn't mind if she tagged along, say so.

If she asks if you can get away from your friends to fulfill your FWB duties, be a gentleman and oblige.
 
Top