Hey folks,
I'm reaching out to you because I need adivce on this one.
Short heads-up:
A few weeks ago, I met a girl i was really interested in, and so she was in me. I've noticed here interest was genuine by the way she responded to me.
At that time sadly I was not someone with huge self-confidence, but it was enough to attract her and because of that high IL, it boosted my self-confidence.
Additionally, I'm into a certain type of woman and she kinda met pretty much all my criteria (not just looks btw).
I felt so happy with myself I haven't felt for a long time. So i caught a Oneitis. Not the first one ever, but this one was really heavy. It had such an impact on me that I decided to change something in my life; since then I read "the rational male", discovered this forum and read books on self-love, self-confidence and actually anything that makes me being happy just with myself.
But this oneitis showed me how emotional dependant I was. I now know all the mistakes I've done and I'm working on them to not let that happen again.
For instance I'm seeking professional help on emotional dependancy to work on things from my childhood/youth.
I'm happy to be almost over this girl now and having realized, she's not so unique as I thought she was. I idealized her and put her on a pedestal.
And all the feelings I had we're not on her, but on that genuine interest from her since I did not have his for quite a time (kinda isolated myself over corona) and what a great and overwhelming feeling it gave me. So i blew it of course.
But here's the thing; although I kinda moved on and work on myself since then, I am struggling to get over the fact that I made these mistakes. It still comes to my mind literally everyday, that if I just was myself and let things happen at her pace, I could have a really nice girl being head over heels for me. And it makes me angry about myself.
So I still haven't forgiven myself and I have a hard time doing so. Is there anyone who experienced the same and has good advice on how to process this?
I really feel how these thoughts are blocking myself from actually enyoing any other girl's company.
I know I should change the perspective from "what if" to "learn from that", but to me it's easier said than done.
Thank you for any advice, have a good one
I'm reaching out to you because I need adivce on this one.
Short heads-up:
A few weeks ago, I met a girl i was really interested in, and so she was in me. I've noticed here interest was genuine by the way she responded to me.
At that time sadly I was not someone with huge self-confidence, but it was enough to attract her and because of that high IL, it boosted my self-confidence.
Additionally, I'm into a certain type of woman and she kinda met pretty much all my criteria (not just looks btw).
I felt so happy with myself I haven't felt for a long time. So i caught a Oneitis. Not the first one ever, but this one was really heavy. It had such an impact on me that I decided to change something in my life; since then I read "the rational male", discovered this forum and read books on self-love, self-confidence and actually anything that makes me being happy just with myself.
But this oneitis showed me how emotional dependant I was. I now know all the mistakes I've done and I'm working on them to not let that happen again.
For instance I'm seeking professional help on emotional dependancy to work on things from my childhood/youth.
I'm happy to be almost over this girl now and having realized, she's not so unique as I thought she was. I idealized her and put her on a pedestal.
And all the feelings I had we're not on her, but on that genuine interest from her since I did not have his for quite a time (kinda isolated myself over corona) and what a great and overwhelming feeling it gave me. So i blew it of course.
But here's the thing; although I kinda moved on and work on myself since then, I am struggling to get over the fact that I made these mistakes. It still comes to my mind literally everyday, that if I just was myself and let things happen at her pace, I could have a really nice girl being head over heels for me. And it makes me angry about myself.
So I still haven't forgiven myself and I have a hard time doing so. Is there anyone who experienced the same and has good advice on how to process this?
I really feel how these thoughts are blocking myself from actually enyoing any other girl's company.
I know I should change the perspective from "what if" to "learn from that", but to me it's easier said than done.
Thank you for any advice, have a good one