How to deal with violent guys?

[Nino-Tk]

Let me get straight into it.Theres this girl i've been hunting for 3 weeks now, I finally got my chance to mack on her while she was on her way to a shop, I stopped her and put my arm around her and simply told her that I was attracted her, She gave me no reply but a sly smile and told me to wait at a corner while she went to get bread, as she comes back, two guys are with her, I decide to ignore her and go the other way but then she blatantly screams my name and calls me back, as I get there one of the chumps comes straight to my face and says "Nobody talks with this girl while im talking to her, so you can just f**k off!" This catches me offguard and I smile as I take this girls hand to come to my side and I tell him that this girl called me he then gets really really pissed and pushes me away from her but then this chumps buddy intervened and stopped him.I felt like he made me look like a damn pvssy, even though the girl said shes cool with us dating, all I could feel was rage mixed with anxiety, the other thing is that this dude aint even her BF! I mean like WTF!? This has has now happened to me 3 times in the last 2 weeks.Its getting irritating! So what I want to know is, How do you deal with these chumps in a smart and a assertive way cause Im not going to lie, I did feel intimidated and my voice trembles when im anxious.

 

[lorekeeper]

You don't need a gun, You've got a bigger problem. You should carry a rifle.

 

[Radharc]

Let me get straight into it.Theres this girl i've been hunting for 3 weeks now, I finally got my chance to mack on her while she was on her way to a shop, I stopped her and put my arm around her and simply told her that I was attracted her, She gave me no reply but a sly smile and told me to wait at a corner while she went to get bread, as she comes back, two guys are with her, I decide to ignore her and go the other way but then she blatantly screams my name and calls me back, as I get there one of the chumps comes straight to my face and says "Nobody talks with this girl while im talking to her, so you can just f**k off!" This catches me offguard and I smile as I take this girls hand to come to my side and I tell him that this girl called me he then gets really really pissed and pushes me away from her but then this chumps buddy intervened and stopped him.I felt like he made me look like a damn pvssy, even though the girl said shes cool with us dating, all I could feel was rage mixed with anxiety, the other thing is that this dude aint even her BF! I mean like WTF!? This has has now happened to me 3 times in the last 2 weeks.Its getting irritating! So what I want to know is, How do you deal with these chumps in a smart and a assertive way cause Im not going to lie, I did feel intimidated and my voice trembles when im anxious.

What exactly are you doing to have it happen 3 times in 2 weeks, with different ppl?

In the situation you described it sounds like there is something else going on, this allways happened with the same girl? There´s a chance she and her buddies might be playing with you.

Anyways, its not possible to be assertive when you are intimidated and your voice trembles, guys used to confrontation can smell fear. The best advice I can give you is long term, go learn how to fight and get used to dealing with agression.

If you do that most of the times you wont really need to fight anyways, your attitude will change and it will show.

 

[Plinco]

Maybe the other dude has oneitis with the girl and is in the friend zone. In that dude's mind, nothing is her fault, if that is indeed the case.

In situations like these, you don't need to carry a gun. You need to learn how to fight and get some expedience fighting. If you are in high school, join your high school wrestling team. Take some martial arts classes; get comfortable defending yourself.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Lol guys im just 17 I can't be carrying some guns and Wow! a rifle eh!? Lol and Redharc I've been sarging for the last 4 weeks now and so when it happened for the first time, I wasn't in my hood so I didn't wana start no crap, the second time it happened I could understand because the guy that confronted me was the girl's bf(I think I'd also do the same) but this one happened in my hood and by the way this is all with different chicks not the same and you are right these guys can smell fear! Because later on that night I went to a party with 2 of my hommies and 5 guys just suddenly approached us and demanded money, they started shoving us around and at that point I was so anxious but then they stopped and said they were just joking(They were so HIGH), one of them who was really tall and dark, told me to never ever tremble.Oh well I guess I gotta learn how to fight, thing is i've never even slapped nor punched anyone in my life, its really not me. And almost every guy that confronts you is either part of a gang or they carry knives and when I say gang I mean like 60 people in a gang! But yeah I definately got to learn and stop myself from being anxious.

 

[perseverance]

I'm several years older than you and I went through what you went through except this wasn't over a woman. Some big, fat whale of a lad used to pick on me and he picked on me for about a year and a half. It started off name calling and then when I challenged him and stood up to defend my name, he beat down on me and he didn't do it once, he did it nearly every chance he got. Some weeks I would get it three or four times from this lad. I was embarrassed, I spent most days crying in the shower. It affected my grades, my confidence and I suffered mentally from him.

He left school at 16 and I left school at 18. I met him two years later at a house party to celebrate some lads 20th, he had changed, he seemed much calmer than before, he even lost a little weight. He never really acknowledged me throughout the night, it was as if he had forgotten who I was, it was like we never met. Well, I had a lot of Vodka shots that night, mixed with some beer and cider, so I was smashed off my head. I step out into the Garden where is sitting on a deck chair nearly falling asleep, he was smashed as well. There's a half empty pint glass on the table next to him, I'm full of anger and bitterness, so I walk over to the table, I pick the glass up and smash it into his face. Blood everywhere, his face was bloodied red, glass everywhere, my hands were cut badly and there was a lot of commotion, girls crying, people helping this lad out. I actually ran home from the party, not that I can remember the run home. Well, I wake up the next day, pretty rotten, not remembering too much from the night before, I have texts on my phone and missed calls. As I trawl through the texts I get "Well in mate" texts from my mates, and texts asking me how I was etc. I asked for clarification on the matter and they told me what I did. Cut a long story, I was charged with GBH and given a suspended sentence. It's on my record though which sucks and apparently his face is scard which gave me great pleasure, not because I am a violent person, I couldn't fight my way out of a paper bag, but this was years of build up to the point where I snapped and a moment of complete madness engulfed me. I don't regret what I did to the lad, he deserved it, my only regret is that I was caught and the small fact I was several years late doing it.

Nip it in the bud before it becomes problematic and don't be afraid of the consequences. If you have to ram glass into someone's face to drive home the message that you aren't to be messed with then by all means do it. Some people only understand violence because it's the only language they speak.

 

[Crissco]

Take up Boxing. Its a great confidence builder, lets out your aggression and on the plus teaches you have to throw and take a punch.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

MMA
Tattoos
Pantera
Chuck Norris, Prison, BJJ, Cage Fighting Documentaries
Spaghetti Westerns
Gym
Chewing Tobacco
Negging friends and family members
Assaulting pizza delivery dudes
Get a criminal record

Then go back out sarging.

 

[Crissco]

^^lmao

 

[Radharc]

MMA
Tattoos
Pantera
Chuck Norris, Prison, BJJ, Cage Fighting Documentaries
Spaghetti Westerns
Gym
Chewing Tobacco
Negging friends and family members
Assaulting pizza delivery dudes
Get a criminal record

Then go back out sarging.

Lol, you do have a point, if you are sarging in the "hood" either you get into a gang yourself and/or become a sociopath or you go fish somewhere else, because no amount of training is gonna turn you into superman. When it comes to gangs its a whole different dynamic.

Sarge, but never forget to bring your common sense with you. Nobody looses face facing a glock or 10 dudes.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

Its not how big the dog is, its how big of a fight is in the dog. You can take the heart of a 250+ pound guy by readily willing to engage. The craziest dudes are the ones that so much as say they're going to fight, and the opponent backs down. Its already won before one-to-ones I thrown from the chest.

Calibration matters in these situations. If there is 5+ dudes, obviously you're not going to have delusions of grandeur and try to park all five of them. You should only want to put a fist in a dudes throat if you or someone close to you is in a life-threatning situation, when the time is right, your own mindset from the cause to a need will benefit you in and after the situation. Even if you get your ass handed to you. You won't feel like a chump who backed down.

Sometimes, in an environment you're not familiar with that is potentially violent. You have to make a social statement, and sometimes you have to be VERY violent when dishing it out too. If you bring, the ruthlessness and extreme violence to a situation, one or two times. You don't have to do it nomore. The message gets out. People look at that, and say. Don't mess with him, or you'll get THAT. Thats how you control violent dudes. Then you can get down to business.

 

[SharinganUser]

This is how you should handle this situation.

 

[FairShake]

"Nobody talks with this girl while im talking to her, so you can just f**k off!"

I would just f**k off. Especially if she doesn't seem to mind him threatening you with his friend as back up. Then she's probably not worth it and might just enjoy the games. No need to get your head stomped for that.

And 3 times in 2 weeks? Something's wrong with your targets.

 

[backbreaker]

As hard as it is to do, you pick and chose your battles. This isn't one you want, even though it makes you look "bad".. just say you apologize and didn't know she was taken, move on.



Now, if he would have pushed you, without saying antyhing, then you knock the **** out of him. The only reason he was being big and bad is becuase there were 2 of them. But never go around provoking fights becuase of what a guy says to you.

 

[Chosen1]

As hard as it is to do, you pick and chose your battles. This isn't one you want, even though it makes you look "bad".. just say you apologize and didn't know she was taken, move on.



Now, if he would have pushed you, without saying antyhing, then you knock the **** out of him. The only reason he was being big and bad is becuase there were 2 of them. But never go around provoking fights becuase of what a guy says to you.

I think it makes the other guy look worse but hey. Learn BJJ that's one of my goals in life. The correct move would have been to knock his muthafvckin head off though. Trust me though back breaker is right don't fight for this girl.

 

[Huffman]

I don't know where you guys grew up, but EVEN if you're a good fighter, you can easily get some injury, nose or something else. You may win the fight, but you'll have 3 weeks of pain.

So with that in mind, go for it only when it's worth it.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Thank you all for the advice, as usual there is always different advice and what I think will work for me is that I should stop hunting in dangerous hoods where the situation could get ugly quick.And I'm going to learn how to fight and will only engage when the situation is somewhat life threatning, I wont fight a guy because of a verbal lash but if he gets physical I will strike back hard.I guess the trick is knowing which battles to fight and which to be 'the better man' and just walk away.

 

[Plinco]

Thank you all for the advice, as usual there is always different advice and what I think will work for me is that I should stop hunting in dangerous hoods where the situation could get ugly quick.And I'm going to learn how to fight and will only engage when the situation is somewhat life threatning, I wont fight a guy because of a verbal lash but if he gets physical I will strike back hard.I guess the trick is knowing which battles to fight and which to be 'the better man' and just walk away.

Don't just learn how to hit hard, but learn to take hard hits and still think and move clearly. I am no expert, but I believe building pain tolerance is the most important factor in learning anything.

 

[Bible_Belt]

And I'm going to learn how to fight and will only engage when the situation is somewhat life threatening

Good luck in your journey into martial arts. Those two goals will happen together. When you learn to fight, you will find that you try even more to avoid fights. The best answer to a violent confrontation is to be confident that you can kill the other guy with your bare hands. When you have that confidence, you will smile, tap him on the elbow like an old friend while you tell him to have a good day, and then quietly walk away. That is how to win a fight.