How to deal with this?

[Tweek_1984]

snipped

 

[voodoolover]

Then I thought I should make a deal about it with my gf, but it's not her that brought it up and I'm worried she'd start to think I'm being way too paranoid, am I?

Yes. To be fair mate if she doesn't mind it then it's none of your business.

Good luck with the move dude, do the two of you get on well?

 

[Tweek_1984]

Good luck with the move dude, do the two of you get on well?

Thanks. We do right now, yes but our relationship has been a bit of a rocky ride so far. Us moving in together is definately going to be an acid test for our future.

 

[voodoolover]

You're right mate, I did the same thing two years ago.

has been a bit of a rocky ride so far.

Rocky how?

 

[Tweek_1984]

Rocky how?

But maybe I should just keep shtum and see whether the living together works or not and base things upon that.

 

[voodoolover]

It came to a head when she made out with some other dude in february

How did you find out?

 

[Tweek_1984]

How did you find out?

She called me the morning after and confessed.

 

[voodoolover]

She called me the morning after and confessed.

I guess that's something, she could have just never told you.

I get where you're coming from though, things can build up, right? And suddenly every little problem makes you wanna run a mile.

It's a big risk you're taking mate, moving in with a girl you don't 100% trust, especially when it's been purely long distance up to this point. If you were asking for my advice I'd say move into student accommodation when you get over there, at least to start with. Then you can see how it works out when the two of you see each other every day, and take it from there. But as you weren't looking for advice on this matter, I'll mind my own business.

Best of luck with it man.

 

[Tweek_1984]

I guess that's something, she could have just never told you.

I get where you're coming from though, things can build up, right? And suddenly every little problem makes you wanna run a mile.

It's a big risk you're taking mate, moving in with a girl you don't 100% trust, especially when it's been purely long distance up to this point. If you were asking for my advice I'd say move into student accommodation when you get over there, at least to start with. Then you can see how it works out when the two of you see each other every day, and take it from there. But as you weren't looking for advice on this matter, I'll mind my own business.

Best of luck with it man.

Yep, it's a gamble, I know. We've both agreed to trial it for the first semester and if things don't work out, I'll move out at christmas.

I think the main problem I have with her now, isn't trust, but mainly that I dislike most of her friends. But, hey, even if it doesn't work out, it'll be an experience, right?

 

[baller1985]

its this guy!!!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=119399


we all remember that thread correct? i remember reading it when I was lurking, it was horribly messed up

this shyt here is about the same girl, dont ****in ask for more advice when u got it all in that prior thread!!

 

[voodoolover]

We've both agreed to trial it for the first semester and if things don't work out, I'll move out at christmas.

Sounds like a plan.

I think the main problem I have with her now, isn't trust, but mainly that I dislike most of her friends.

Haha... I've been there too.

But, hey, even if it doesn't work out, it'll be an experience, right?

Definitely. There will be highs and lows dude, you can guarantee that.

 

[youngwilliam]

Trust me dude, I got upset about this same thing. I was reading about Herschel Walker a week ago and he said, "When I ran track, I tried not to think about the guy I was racing against, I tried to focus on myself, and tried to get there as quickly as possible, if I worried about the guy next to me, I already lost". Women are going to do what they want. Don't sweat the inevitable. Hopefully, you are bettering your life so you can get better!

 

[Tweek_1984]

its this guy!!!

That thread was a headache, it quickly turned into a keyboard jockey's wet dream.

Now I'm asking for advice for a new situation. This isa dating forum where guys come for advice isn't it?

 

[voodoolover]

this shyt here is about the same girl, dont ****in ask for more advice when u got it all in that prior thread!!

Not helpful.

 

[baller1985]

That thread was a headache, it quickly turned into a keyboard jockey's wet dream.

Now I'm asking for advice for a new situation. This isa dating forum where guys come for advice isn't it?

but that thread was a disaster because your situation with that girl was a disaster

this is the same girl isnt it??

 

[Jovan]

Ofcourse it is the same girl... I remember that thread and I knew Tweek was going to patch things up with this girl. And as expected low and behold another problem pops up. Dude her ex calls her sandy vagina... sandy freaking vagina...

Infact there is no point in giving you advice I much rather see you fly over to America get with this broad catch her naked in your room one night with 5 large penises in her mouth... that is a thread I'll be waitin to read GoodLuck

 

[Last Man Standing]

You don't have a problem with the dude or the name he uses but you do have a problem with what she did!!! Your pissed because the name is appropriate to her standing!!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren't married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

You are utterly powerless in this situation. NEVER buy a home with a girlfriend, NEVER sign a rental lease with a girlfriend. NEVER agree to move into her home and absolutely NEVER move a woman into your own established living arrangement. I'm adamantly opposed to the "shacking up" dynamic, it is a trap that far too many men allow themselves to fall into. My fervor agianst this isn't based on some moral issue, it it simple pragmatism. I know a fellow right now who is in the pit of misery with a girl he signed an apartment lease with for a year and has had to basically live with his ex for tha past 5 months and wont get out of the lease until next year. If you live with a woman you may as well be married because upon doing so every liability and accountability of marriage is then in effect. You not only lose any freedom of annonymity, you commit to legally being responsible for the continuation of your living arrangements regardless of how your relationship decays.

I should also emphasize the point that when you commit (and it is a financial committment) to cohabiting with a GF you will notice a marked decrease in her sexual availability and desire, trust me on this. All of that competitive anxiety and it's resulting sexual tension that made your single sex life so great is removed from her shoulders and she can comfortably relax in the knowledge that she is your ONLY source of sexual intimacy. Putting your name on that lease with her (even if it's just your name) is akin to signing an insurance polcy for her - "I the undersigned promise not to fukk any woman but this girl for a one year term." She thinks, "if he wasn't serious about me, he wouldn't have signed the lease." Now all of that impetus and energy that made having marathon sex with you an outright necessity is relaxed. She controls the frame and she's got it in writing that it is for at least a year.

Just don't do it. Relationships last best when you spin more plates or at the very least keep each other at arm's distance. At 22 you are far too young to be monogamous, much less move in with a girl.

 

[Max Power]

. Putting your name on that lease with her (even if it's just your name) is akin to signing an insurance polcy for her - "I the undersigned promise not to fukk any woman but this girl for a one year term." She thinks, "if he wasn't serious about me, he wouldn't have signed the .

You're a freakin' genius, Rollo

 

[Sir Drinksalot]

I don't think you're experienced enough to fully understand Rollo's rule. Two or three years from now, maybe. So here are some quick bullet points:

1) She is going to cheat on you whether you move in with her or not. She probably already is. Get out of this before you move in, or you'll spend the next year scraping your ego off the floor.

2) Her ex bf, who you're so jealous of, did nit "teach her bad habits." Her actions are her responsibility.

3) Spend less time hating her ex and more time acting like him. He's a good role model. He got in, got out, no damage and was in control of his relationship with this woman, that's more than I can say for you.