"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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How to deal with nasty family members

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
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So I've got this cousin and not once has he talked about my how is my programming job hunt going, he hasn't even said how did your exams go or how did your whole year go for my degree the last 2.5 years. He knows exactly what I'm doing.

He always talks about himself, saying "at uni, women fancy men, and women fancy me".

He also said "I want to buy a car", I will do this and that after my masters. He was also talking about his height, how he is the tallest out of the family and how his brother has long arm and legs otherwise he would be tall.

He always ignores me out of everyone and talks to my sister and other cousins, however not me, every time at family party, functions, party in the last 3 years.

I also had to go to his house yesterday.

First thing he did was talking to my sister and he said "how was the thing you went to".

He didn't even acknowledge me regarding if I'm working or how's my job search going.

His mom also acts strange she said a couple of weeks ago "so what can you cook" and she asked me if I wanted extra food "I said it's all right" and she got me some anyway and she was talking to her son about how ambiguous I am in saying " all right" which could mean yes or no like taking the piss out of me.

The thing is, he and his cousin in law have been looking at my Facebook to check on my status updates, I right click on source code, then cltr+f, then type in the box view friends list, I hunted down his Facebook code with his other cousin in law next to his code this has happened twice now on Facebook, one in August and another one now. So they must be communicating regarding what I'm doing now.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
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If a person gives two s hits about you, then you give one or none. Ignore him and don't worry about what people say or do.

It seems that you have confidence issues. Am I correct in that assumption?
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
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Do you even NEED to associate with this guy? I never bothered with my cousins much. One was a dik, and the others, while polite, pretty much ignored me growing up. We had nothing in common either.

Now, you might have to still be polite to him because his father and mother is still your uncle and aunt. But keep the conversations short and your visits with them short as well. "I have to get going. I'm working on something for school/work."

You're not gonna fix or change the guy. Just cut the contact down to the minimum.
 

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
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Why do you have to deal with them? just because you're supposed to be family?

If you dont like someones company or believe it doesnt add anything in your life just drop them.

Unless you have a business partnership or common properties just delete them from your life.

Btw can you elaborate about that source code, did I get wrong or u can see who check ur fb?
 

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
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Thanks for the replies.

I wouldn't say I'm under confident, I have a problem with being assertive, however, I'm seeing a therapist regarding this.

You can see who checked your Facebook by going on your home page, in the empty space on the left hand side, right clicking the mouse, then select 'view page source' something like that and when you get onto this page, click on cltr + f and then type 'initial chat friends list': I got this from here:

I checked in September who's viewed my fb and seen him with his cousin in law checking my fb profile together via their codes being right next to each other and again recently. He doesn't come log in to fb, only when it is needed to. He hasn't updated his pic for 6 years.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
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It's very simple. Jettison toxic people from your life and get on with it. I don't care who they are.

Then you aren't engaged in a bunch of BS drama which wastes time & energy, your two most precious and limited assets.
 
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