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How to deal with "cold" hot girls

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It is an irony that the hottest girls are usually "cold", but yeah. In my experience it is like that. I have several female friends who are extremely hot, beautiful, I do not use those rankings but if you will they are 10s for sure. All of them are really friendly when you get to know them better, they are really smart, kind, just overall cool girls keepin´ it real.
But the thing is that when I didnt know them that well, just saw them, maybe said couple of words, they all seemed really "mean" because they didn´t smile almost at all and seemed a bit arrogant to be honest. But once I got to know these girls closer I realized I was very wrong with these prejudices.
But STILL it is so much harder to even make them smile. They are so serious almost all the time and even when they smile it is just a little bit. Basically they are not so expressive, actually almost at all. Just keep a straight face usually and when they look at you that way it almost feels like they´re mad, it looks so strict.

My personal opinion is this. These girls are really really hot and its pretty obvious. Some of them even told me how many men keep bothering them and stuff. I think they have a really hard time trying to cope with all these men chasing after them, I cannot even imagine it, it has to be exhausting.
I think the way to get to such girls is to be YOURSELF and be interested in HER, who she really is, and not just her looks like everyone else. But anyway, it is so difficult sometimes to get closer to these girls because they have their guard naturally so much up all the time. Its even more difficult if you have let´s say limited amount of time to get to know them; so you have to show her that you are interested in HER and not just her looks and do that without looking too pushy or needy. I guess this type of women requires a completely different approach.
So what is your opinion on this?
 

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Espi

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I don't deal with cold women. I'm almost always polite and respectful but I flat out ignore them. No problem. I have too many women to focus on.
 

nismo-4

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What do you have to offer them that her other 151 applicants cannot?

Even if you move on and ignore, she won't notice. But as long as you're note some beta tool for her, good.

You just need good timing, most likely you aren't Chad. But don't ass-kiss (compliment) by any means.
 
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What do you have to offer them that her other 151 applicants cannot?

Even if you move on and ignore, she won't notice. But as long as you're note some beta tool for her, good.

You just need good timing, most likely you aren't Chad. But don't ass-kiss (compliment) by any means.
You are right, you have to be different than all the rest.
But what do you mean by "even if you move on and ignore, she won´t notice" ?
Also what do you mena by "most likely you aren´t Chad" ?
 
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Red Legg

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I don't deal with cold women. I'm almost always polite and respectful but I flat out ignore them. No problem. I have too many women to focus on.
Yes.... only deal with women with high IL's....that too the experienced DJ are easy too spot.I will not even engage a woman whose IL is below a 7 anymore.
 

nismo-4

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You are right, you have to be different than all the rest.
But what do you mean by "even if you move on and ignore, she won´t notice" ?
Also what do you mena by "most likely you aren´t Chad" ?
If you ignore and move on, she won't notice...meaning if you were useless or invisible to her, or she just saw you as some beta tool i.e. orbiter, fan, ego-booster, emotional tampon, pic liker, electronic orbiter, sexless provider, etc. You don't want a beta role anyway.

Chad, meaning Chad Thunderkok. You've heard the name thrown around on here i.e. muscled out youthful guy at 6'4".

No matter what, make your move. If all she wants is a beta tool out of you, bail.
 

marmel75

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Find more women who aren't. Women who are hot and cold are telling you that you aren't high enough on their lists because they don't act that way with guys who are.

Likely you are the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th or lower option in their minds...
 

skinnyguy

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I deal with cold women. All you have to do is find their “trigger”.

They might really like art. Or they might have had a parent who died. Or they might have an affinity for a certain place. If you talk about the right thing they will open up.

They aren’t really bishes. They don’t act cold to their gfs. If you act normal and unintimidated they will talk to you. In fact their whole life they have been pedestalized cause of their looks. They want to be recognized for something else.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Thing is beautiful women tend to adopt this persona out of necessity. The reason for this is that beautiful women are objectified by men (who knew!!)...are approached and gawked at constantly...and men gush to them all the time. It gets old. I speak from experience. Are there worse things? Sure. Is it nice to be pretty? Sure.

It's just that the number of men who are actually non-plussed or unintimidated by beauty are relatively few. But if a guy can demonstrate that he is cool/chill and not going to hump the girl's leg? Then she can relax a bit and act like a human being instead of arm candy.
 
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Igetit!

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I deal with cold women. All you have to do is find their “trigger”.
Their "trigger". Umm....ok. Question.....

And how exactly is it that you find "their trigger"....if I may ask? Just curious.

They might really like art. Or they might have had a parent who died. Or they might have an affinity for a certain place. If you talk about the right thing they will open up.
You said if you talk to them about the "right thing",they'll open up. I agree. Question number 2......

How do you personally go about finding this right thing to get the cold chick to open up? Cause I assume we're talking about chicks we DON'T KNOW....strangers. Maybe you were out at a park,beach,or a grocery store somewhere,and ran into this hot chick who started being cold to you,THROUGH NO FAULT OF YOUR OWN.

If you don't know her,nor her you,and you've only been aware of each other existence for a mere 2 minutes,how do you determine this "right thing" or subject needed to get her to open up?

They aren’t really bishes.
I agree.

They don’t act cold to their gfs.
Yeah,uhh.....I believe that's cause their girlfriends don't show any sexual interest in them or try to hit on them.

If you act normal and unintimidated they will talk to you.
That's true,but.....if you just talk about random topics and never show any interest,you're friendzone bound. And unless I'm mistaken,this thread isn't just about how to deal with cold hot girls in a way that makes their coldness go away,but make their coldness go away so you can GAIN THEIR INTEREST.

In fact their whole life they have been pedestalized cause of their looks.
Yeah......that's why they're cold TO YOU from the getgo.

The mere fact that you're male makes them have their coldness armed and ready and at their side,like a can of mace in their purse. They can be laughing and talking,all warm and friendly to another female or male friend,then the second they notice you in their vicinity,you'll sense a slight chill in the air. And not because of anything you've said or done,but because of HER HISTORY of being pedestalized by OTHER men.

She'll automatically assume you're about to hit on her before you've even opened your mouth.

THAT'S WHERE the coldness comes from.


They want to be recognized for something else.
I agree......but you have to fight through her initial coldness FIRST......before you can show her you see more in her besides her looks.

In other words,you're guilty FIRST.......of wanting her for her looks,at least in her eyes. You're guilty first....then if you can fight through her coldness,then you can prove your innocence AFTERWARDS..
 
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Advice from the old lady:

Thing is beautiful women tend to adopt this persona out of necessity. The reason for this is that beautiful women are objectified by men (who knew!!)...are approached and gawked at constantly...and men gush to them all the time. It gets old. I speak from experience. Are there worse things? Sure. Is it nice to be pretty? Sure.

It's just that the number of men who are actually non-plussed or unintimidated by beauty are relatively few. But if a guy can demonstrate that he is cool/chill and not going to hump the girl's leg? Then she can relax a bit and act like a human being instead of arm candy.
Thank you so much for your advice actually, I completely agree with you. But the thing is that by not showing any sexual interest/attraction/affection to such woman, the man just gets in her friendzone, by speaking normally. Women like these automatically protect themselves against anyone trying to hit on them or flirting with them even slightly, they simply don't reciprocate such things. I understand that it's because of what you said, that they wanna be perceived for more than just looks. But it's hard because obviously the very first thing I notice is looks, it's what makes me want to get to know her.
Of course it is not the only thing that matters and further conversation/s and getting to know her personality is crucial for me. But sometimes it is a shame that the often times beautiful personality is hidden behind a block of ice which is sometimes hard to break.

From my experience, the following approach worked. Ignore her appearance completely, don't even try compliment her looks because she is probably already so tired of it. Just relax, breath, forget that she is one of the most beautiful women you've ever seen and talk to her completely normally, like to a good friend, be kind, honest, sincere. And usually after a while speaking, when I can take something out of that our conversation that I liked about her, that exactly is the real reason why I wanna talk to her more, know her more....because of what I found out about her when we spoke, either something she told me directly or indirectly (I felt it). So this way it is possible to build a great relationship with a beautiful woman who is cold in the beginning...in my experience.

Please, tell me what you think about it.
And also another thing...eventhough this approach I described usually works, there is no guarantee the woman will like the man in a sexual way. So what is your take on that? When and how to add that little bit of flirting/teasing or whatsoever if that is something which these women are very aware of and defensive about.
 

MrWood

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When and how to add that little bit of flirting/teasing or whatsoever if that is something which these women are very aware of and defensive about.
lately I am just up front when it starts to feel "friendy" I just say "im not interested in just being friends"
like a man, have balls and be bold... "I would rather make your lips giggle and your nipples sing rather than just friends"
 

BeExcellent

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tell me what you think about it.
And also another thing...eventhough this approach I described usually works, there is no guarantee the woman will like the man in a sexual way. So what is your take on that? When and how to add that little bit of flirting/teasing or whatsoever if that is something which these women are very aware of and defensive about.
Beautiful women are well aware that their looks attracted you. Their looks attract every body.

The best seducers are completely unapologetic about taking a risk and using kino & escalating sexually. But they also read people very well and understand how to break the ice, indirectly if necessary. I posted in the Does Urbanyst Have a Point thread how my BF broke the ice with me as an example. He did it indirectly at first.

And I've heard him tell the story about how we met a number of times and one of the things he emphasizes is how I responded in a receptive way at several points in the interaction. In other words he was reading my receptiveness and non verbal cues throughout. Things like him taking my hand at one point (and me not pulling away), and me showing up to another venue after he invited me and left ahead of me.

Because you are friends with some beautiful women you have some opportunities to gain both understanding and social proof. Continue to cultivate those friendships and observe & learn.

And when some hot woman asks you or says "well @The Next Big Thing is harmless..." you take that opportunity (for example) to smile and say "Actually I'm anything but harmless..." and amplify the banter. Get into a woman's personal space, pull her close, tell her a secret (even if it's that you think another person's outfit or tattoo or jewelry or drink choice is ridiculous) then pull back & focus on someone or something else for a moment...pull...then push (back off)...see if her cues indicate she wants more attention...act as if this is your typical way of being...and READ her non verbal feedback. If she tries to squirm away or distance herself or set clear boundaries? Simple.

Move to another girl and do the same thing BEFORE you are overtly rejected. Let the first girl see that the next girl is receptive to your interest. This often intrigues the first girl. Why? Too long to explain...read Pook.

It's subtle. And it works. You never go or stay where you are unwelcome. And you are always in the arena reading who is receptive toward you...and that is where you focus, but intermittently.

In this way you become someone who never oversteps and who becomes an object of desire.
 

Trump

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lately I am just up front when it starts to feel "friendy" I just say "im not interested in just being friends"
like a man, have balls and be bold... "I would rather make your lips giggle and your nipples sing rather than just friends"
What does being a man and being bold have to do with disagreeing with her?

"Lets just be friends" = "Not sleeping with you at this moment. But if you step your game up and offer some use to me, my priorities may change."
 
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Beautiful women are well aware that their looks attracted you. Their looks attract every body.

The best seducers are completely unapologetic about taking a risk and using kino & escalating sexually. But they also read people very well and understand how to break the ice, indirectly if necessary. I posted in the Does Urbanyst Have a Point thread how my BF broke the ice with me as an example. He did it indirectly at first.

And I've heard him tell the story about how we met a number of times and one of the things he emphasizes is how I responded in a receptive way at several points in the interaction. In other words he was reading my receptiveness and non verbal cues throughout. Things like him taking my hand at one point (and me not pulling away), and me showing up to another venue after he invited me and left ahead of me.

Because you are friends with some beautiful women you have some opportunities to gain both understanding and social proof. Continue to cultivate those friendships and observe & learn.

And when some hot woman asks you or says "well @The Next Big Thing is harmless..." you take that opportunity (for example) to smile and say "Actually I'm anything but harmless..." and amplify the banter. Get into a woman's personal space, pull her close, tell her a secret (even if it's that you think another person's outfit or tattoo or jewelry or drink choice is ridiculous) then pull back & focus on someone or something else for a moment...pull...then push (back off)...see if her cues indicate she wants more attention...act as if this is your typical way of being...and READ her non verbal feedback. If she tries to squirm away or distance herself or set clear boundaries? Simple.

Move to another girl and do the same thing BEFORE you are overtly rejected. Let the first girl see that the next girl is receptive to your interest. This often intrigues the first girl. Why? Too long to explain...read Pook.

It's subtle. And it works. You never go or stay where you are unwelcome. And you are always in the arena reading who is receptive toward you...and that is where you focus, but intermittently.

In this way you become someone who never oversteps and who becomes an object of desire.

Thank you! That is some great advice! :)
 
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Move to another girl and do the same thing BEFORE you are overtly rejected. Let the first girl see that the next girl is receptive to your interest. This often intrigues the first girl. Why? Too long to explain...read Pook.
What do you mean by reading Pook? Is it some book? If yes, can you get me more details on it please?
 

BeExcellent

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What do you mean by reading Pook? Is it some book? If yes, can you get me more details on it please?
The Book of Pook. Pook was a contributor here for some time. I never knew him myself but the excerpts I have seen are incredibly insightful, humorous and full of unvarnished truth. It is Incorporated into the DJ Bible, which @Desdinova has put together with a link right under the Don Juan Discussion forum:

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/
 

mrgoodstuff

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You are right, you have to be different than all the rest.
But what do you mean by "even if you move on and ignore, she won´t notice" ?
Also what do you mena by "most likely you aren´t Chad" ?
You don't even have to be different. You simply have to be the one she likes. If she doesn't then don't waste time on her.
 
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