"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How to cut contact from a good girl who has NEVER wronged you.

Michele l'Arcangelo

Master Don Juan
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In a nutshell:

My bro just got married to this girl from Mexico, they met many years ago. They intro'd me to her sister years ago. We got along. I was 18, she was 21. Her sister doesn't speak English, and lives in Mexico.

She goes back to Mexico after we both got along VERY well, despite language differences.

Years later, I'm turning 21, she's turning 24, we have a big family reunion for their informal wedding in the States. We get along well. a month later our families meet again in Mexico for the formal wedding. She allows me to stay at her apartment (she has a female roommate) 3 hours away from her family, and where my family will gather. We stay there for 7 days, then travel to where our families are for the wedding.

Before I went to stay with her, I bought her these $200 earrings. I Figured, maybe it can start something, and if not, at least that's how much renting a hotel would cost either way. I would assume she liked them.

She's a very traditional Mexican girl, has her degree, smart, she cooked for me every day when I stayed at her apartment... and then BAM! I found out she had a boyfriend who's 28, they don't seem serious... but still. I found this out after staying at her apartment for 3-4 days. Also, understand this isn't Western culture, it's more or less okay for me to stay at her apartment, without any weird thoughts.

I asked her before if she had a boyfriend before I stayed with her in Mexico (because my very strange aunt told me she did), "My aunt told me you have a boyfriend, is that true?", and she laughed and said 'no'.

I asked her about it the night of the wedding/reception when I walked her to her room (her boyfriend didn't attend since it was 3 hours away)... I found out she thought I asked, "My aunt think's I'm your boyfriend, is that true?"

Point is, she hasn't wronged me... in ANY WAY... and she's still an awesome person. I can't deny those facts. I usually get over girls my putting bad ideas in my head about them, and eventually hating them and being bitter, but I wouldn't want to think anything bad about this girl. She just hasn't wronged me.

Also, she's having a mariachi sombraro being made for me. So until I recieve that... I'll stay in contact.

I'd like to cut contact at least until something more permanent can happen, as in she moves to the States to practice her degree here/live close to her sister.

If she ever gets married, I'll totally be broken, since I was crazy about her... my bro's always joked how me and her will be the last one's in the family to get married.

Keeping this girl in my head isn't doing me any good, and having her on Skype and Facebook isn't making it easier.

FWIW, I'm also thinking of joining Army as a Combat Medic (68W), hopefully getting messed up in the head by war can fix myself up.

How can I forget about her for the meantime? I blocked her from my Facebook newsfeed, and uninstalled Skype for a while. I can't just delete her, and expect no weirdness, since my brother and his wife speak to her a lot.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Plinco

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Michele said:
In a nutshell:

My bro just got married to this girl from Mexico, they met many years ago. They intro'd me to her sister years ago. We got along. I was 18, she was 21. Her sister doesn't speak English, and lives in Mexico.

She goes back to Mexico after we both got along VERY well, despite language differences.

Years later, I'm turning 21, she's turning 24, we have a big family reunion for their informal wedding in the States. We get along well. a month later our families meet again in Mexico for the formal wedding. She allows me to stay at her apartment (she has a female roommate) 3 hours away from her family, and where my family will gather. We stay there for 7 days, then travel to where our families are for the wedding.

Before I went to stay with her, I bought her these $200 earrings. I Figured, maybe it can start something, and if not, at least that's how much renting a hotel would cost either way. I would assume she liked them.

She's a very traditional Mexican girl, has her degree, smart, she cooked for me every day when I stayed at her apartment... and then BAM! I found out she had a boyfriend who's 28, they don't seem serious... but still. I found this out after staying at her apartment for 3-4 days. Also, understand this isn't Western culture, it's more or less okay for me to stay at her apartment, without any weird thoughts.

I asked her before if she had a boyfriend before I stayed with her in Mexico (because my very strange aunt told me she did), "My aunt told me you have a boyfriend, is that true?", and she laughed and said 'no'.

I asked her about it the night of the wedding/reception when I walked her to her room (her boyfriend didn't attend since it was 3 hours away)... I found out she thought I asked, "My aunt think's I'm your boyfriend, is that true?"

Point is, she hasn't wronged me... in ANY WAY... and she's still an awesome person. I can't deny those facts. I usually get over girls my putting bad ideas in my head about them, and eventually hating them and being bitter, but I wouldn't want to think anything bad about this girl. She just hasn't wronged me.

Also, she's having a mariachi sombraro being made for me. So until I recieve that... I'll stay in contact.

I'd like to cut contact at least until something more permanent can happen, as in she moves to the States to practice her degree here/live close to her sister.

If she ever gets married, I'll totally be broken, since I was crazy about her... my bro's always joked how me and her will be the last one's in the family to get married.

Keeping this girl in my head isn't doing me any good, and having her on Skype and Facebook isn't making it easier.

FWIW, I'm also thinking of joining Army as a Combat Medic (68W), hopefully getting messed up in the head by war can fix myself up.

How can I forget about her for the meantime? I blocked her from my Facebook newsfeed, and uninstalled Skype for a while. I can't just delete her, and expect no weirdness, since my brother and his wife speak to her a lot.

What kind of answer do you expect?
 

jophil28

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Michele said:
Anything?
I was planning to reply until I read your sig line.
Apparently you are so insightful about the value of old timer's advice that I decided not to post.
A sharp young guy like you can probably figure out how to solve your dilemma all by your lonesome .

However -here is a tiny hint- learn conversational Spanish .
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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