How to control my obsession?

[thebob]

Okay, I know this goes against pretty much everything the bible says, but I really can't help it. Probably heard the same story a million times but...Basically there's a girl who I have a serious crush on and it's like I spend 80% of my day just thinking of her. She's beautiful, best personality I've ever seen, basically everything I've ever wanted from a girl and more. I know everyone has to have a flaw, but I've known her for a while and I'm having a hard time convincing myself she's not perfect.

By now I'm sure most of you are thinking something along the lines of "so go after her u fvcking afc" or "this makes me want to vomit". Well normally I'd react the same way but frankly this post is just going to get "worse".

I'm normally fairly confident around girls but whenever she talks to me it's like my body (and brain) stops functioning. Believe me I have every intention of working on her, but every time I see her I just get all choked up. The sad part is I only see her maybe twice a week. And (remember when I said this would get worse?) she's still the type of girl I'd do anything for. She's so sweet and I've known her for long enough that she'd never take advantage of this flaw of mine, but I dont think it's good to be this crazy about her right now....

desparate and confused

 

[Salacious D]

Stay the hell away from her those two times of the week you see her. Don't sweat it, and focus on other things and other girls. She'll be out of your head in no time. Don't be a **** if she asks you what's up, but keep her at a distance until you're confident you can handle yourself around her.

 

[AFK Protector]

**** dude, do a search on a post I posted about this. Anyways, I will do it again. Just for you...

...and your sorry ass.


lol jp. We've all been through this. That's why we're here! So chill and read up.

I was in love....

So I felt like she was this angel. 99% of my day was spent thinking about her. Unlike your measly 80%. So she gets a boyfriend....I'm sad . Then I try to win her over. I find this site. I realize, FVCK IT ALL!! AHHHH!! (only recently). So this is what I did.

::Rocky music starts playing::

It was a rainy night. After lying on my bed just thinking it all through... What did I do? Why hasn't it worked?

Because I didn't really want to detach from her. I had a hope constant thing....I always felt she would like me.....so I had to take drastic action. That was Plan B.

What is Plan B? Well, it was really extreme. I basically avoided her for a month and if we had class, I wouldn't talk to her or say hi or look at her. I blocked her on AIM for a while. I didn't pick up her calls. And a month later...I was cured.

This isn't bull****. I actually did all that. And it worked for me. I gradually begin to go back to normal....cautiously.... Like entering enemy territory. So I start taking calls, not that she calls anymore lol. Then AIM, but I keep responses short like, "ok...fine...I don't know...ok....yea...thats nice..."

Then at school, I go back to my regular routine. Next we start talking more. She starts to get my attention. And I almost went back...this oneitis sh1t is strong....


But I remembered the hurt I felt when I got too attached. And I said, "no." to her for the first time in my life. It felt good. I felt free. I was free. ANd she was shocked.

She said, "what?" (yes she actualyl said that)
I said, "yea, you heard me. Go get some exercise." (she wanted me to get a book from her backback like from across the room)

Damn, I get slapped.

People were laughing, but I stood up and said, "there's a lot of chumps you can find to string along and be your lap dog. I'm not one of them. later"

So I walk away and she stands up wanting to scream at me. but she doesn't.


I added some details here that weren't there before, because it felt strange. Now it's all good. She is long gone. she's been a real b1tch lately. To her friends and me, but mostly me. Spreading stuff and telling her boyfriend I hit her or something. lol that's a whole different story altogether.

So yea, my b1tch was trouble. All oneitis's are. Yours will be too. I hope this helped.

 

[Biphoria]

AFK, I'm inspired.

 

[thebob]

Thanks guys, hopefully I'll be able to do it but avoiding her is gonna be tough. And maybe 80% was a conservative estimate lol, but I can't think of ANYTHING in my entire life that's been in my head more than she's been. Just one thing though...

Originally posted by AFK Protector

So yea, my b1tch was trouble. All oneitis's are. Yours will be too. I hope this helped.

The thing is like I said before, she's incredibly nice and friendly (which leads back to the perplexing fact that I still haven't found a single flaw in her, physical or personality-wise). I don't think she's EVER asked me to do her a favor, anything I've done for her was me taking the initiative and being a gentleman (no I don't pamper her or any of that crap). And she's always thanked me

perfection i tell you

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

Perfection? My a$$.

 

[Master Homer]

Originally posted by thebob

The thing is like I said before, she's incredibly nice and friendly (which leads back to the perplexing fact that I still haven't found a single flaw in her, physical or personality-wise). I don't think she's EVER asked me to do her a favor, anything I've done for her was me taking the initiative and being a gentleman (no I don't pamper her or any of that crap). And she's always thanked me

perfection i tell you

It's all in your mind. She is on a pedestal in your mind. You don't really even love her. OK. She's Perfect. She's Beautiful. Blah blah Bullsh!t. Face it. She is stupid, ugly and smells. Think of her as wanting to talk to you, wanting to be with you, and you’re the one LETTING her have your precious time and thoughts. If you help her, it's for pity that she can't ever be as special as you. Then you'll love her like a father loves his daughter. And she'll love you back. You’re the one on the pedestal now.

Yes, this mindset really works.

 

[AFK Protector]

I thought she was perfect too. I was incredibly jealous too. Everytime I saw her talking to another guy I felt like she wasn't perfect anymore. And when she talked to me or smiled or said thanks I felt like a hero. Master Homer is correct. It is all in your mind. There are some good guides to curing oneitis on this forum. Do a search.

This will probably be the hardest thing you've ever done, but once its over, it's over for good.

Yea, perfect....nothing's perfect. Only ideas can be perfect. Perfect things can only be perceived. Therefore, her perfection MUST be a figment of your imagination.

Biphoria: heh, about time I inspired someone. thx.

 

[MetalFortress]

When you talk to her, just imagine her with severe male-pattern baldness

 

[HollowHorizon]

Alright

First off, Pretend when you talk to her that she is intrested in you ( Its a good psych)

2 What are you afraid of? Beauty? Get Real Man! Dont be afraid of chicks, Hmm (Hence Male=Dominant)

3 Relax, Take a deep breath, Dont Try to Think About what she is thinking.....Dont Assume What she thinks of you unless she tells you....

4 Don't Be a Chaser Ok, You say this girl is perfect, Alright well every guy can turn a head or tremble, A real man won't show those, Just talk to her like a normal person.... YOU TREAT HER LIKE A QUEEN AND SHE WILL THINK SHE IS AND FIND BETTER!
Also im just saying, You got time and it can't be wasted on girls that are not intrested in you... You dont fight for women they gotta win you!!


5 You are the gold and noone else, You are the prize to be won, The Dimond in the dirt... Your rare, no other guy is like you.... Your a man!

6 Just have fun when you hang out ok man! Even if she dosent have fun you will... Make Efforts... If you have fun with her its a good chance she will and all those other fears will be warded off cuz your having so much fun!!!


I gotch'a Back Dawg

Peace

 

[JSH]

Hey she is not perfect as stated in the DJB

"Don't be intimidated by beautiful women. They eat, crap, and sleep just like you and me. They have feelings, desires, and problems just like normal people do. So take them off that pedestal and put them on your level." - Adonis from his Practical guide to an approach.

Think of her doing something really revolting like having a **** (no you silly bastard dont get turned on by her tight arse) but think of the disgusting things she does and start to associate her with them. This may not sound nice but if she no longer sexually attracts you then your cured.

I know girls that seem to be perfect, but if you observe, one day you will see her snap, you will see the facade drop for a second, she might come in or after swimming looking like ****. Find these cracks and widen them up into spouts out of which all the lava can come gushing out.

 

[Jerky Boi]

In my short time on this earth, I've realized that there really is NO girl that's perfect. She may seem this way to you right now simply because you're putting her on a pedestal. Don't think of her as being better than you. That's the only reason why you're soo nervous and worried around her.

We've all been here before. Oneitis is something that, as hard as we try, will always be around. There are remedies though...Don't waste your time thinking about how interested she is in you. This will only make things worse. Don't worry about trying to hook up with her soo soon. When you hang out with her, just have fun. Show her how great of a guy you are. If you play your cards right, she'll be the one trying to win you over :] Good luck man

 

[buckwheat18]

focous on other women that have qualities you like. That should get your mind off her. If you put her on a pedistal youre just going to get hurt. I wish you luck