How to Close in nightclubs

Bigmike89

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Hey,

So I have no problem approaching girls. Actually I believe I have the opposite of approach anxiety. I want to talk to every good looking girl I see. The issue is that I can walk up to a girl at a club, dance with her, talk, sometimes even kiss her, and get her number if she’s with friends to hangout later. But most of them don’t end in dates...

Also I get girls who make up bs reasons why they can’t come over to my place at the end of the night...am I too impatient? My ideal scenario is to meet a girl and have sex with her on the same night. I’m not looking to date or get to know them. How can I close girls on the same night in nightclubs?
 

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Confidence, no fvcks given and huge amounts of self-amusement. Don't be easy, string her along until she's literally crazy for your d!ck.

Closing is easy if you've warmed her up right. A nightclub isn't a place to take numbers, so just quit that altogether.
 

Bigmike89

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Confidence, no fvcks given and huge amounts of self-amusement. Don't be easy, string her along until she's literally crazy for your d!ck.

Closing is easy if you've warmed her up right. A nightclub isn't a place to take numbers, so just quit that altogether.
Could you elaborate on what you mean by stringing her along?
 

Serenity

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Could you elaborate on what you mean by stringing her along?
If you see her become noticably more interested in you and excited about your presence don't act like she has won you. Continue playing hard to get. Don't be dismissive, but don't show that you're so interested she can make you do as she wants.

It's kinda hard to explain without practically showing it. It's like a game of poker, you lose if you show your cards too early.
 

Bigmike89

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If you see her become noticably more interested in you and excited about your presence don't act like she has won you. Continue playing hard to get. Don't be dismissive, but don't show that you're so interested she can make you do as she wants.

It's kinda hard to explain without practically showing it. It's like a game of poker, you lose if you show your cards too early.
Yeah I feel you. Sometimes in the past I come off as aloof so it’s definitely a balancing act.
 

Serenity

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Yeah I feel you. Sometimes in the past I come off as aloof so it’s definitely a balancing act.
Yeah, be aloof, but not boring. Some guys interpret that as acting clearly disinterested, but that's not the point. I think you know what I mean since you mentioned balancing act, that's exactly what it is. Not too interested yet not disinterested, basically just have fun, tease them. Continuously gauge interest.
 

Bigmike89

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Yeah, be aloof, but not boring. Some guys interpret that as acting clearly disinterested, but that's not the point. I think you know what I mean since you mentioned balancing act, that's exactly what it is. Not too interested yet not disinterested, basically just have fun, tease them. Continuously gauge interest.
Seems it boils down to frame? She is entering my world and not vice versa
 

Bigmike89

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your mindset is counterproductive

you think you dont want to date them, so why bother with anything else? that to me means youre skipping rapport and comfort. both jcrucial stages of the seduction process.

how can you NOT expect them to turn you down when they feel like they dont know well enough to go with you.
Isn’t comfort anti-seductive? The times I have had sex with a girl on the same night she didn’t know anything about me...I can see how rapport would be important..
 

Bigmike89

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nope.

women who do the sex with a stranger whos name i dont even know thing are fulfilling a fantasy or satisfying an impulse, which is NOT the norm

any other time, the stages of pick up are always the same

attraction -> rapport -> comfort -> seduction

what do most betas do? all rapport, no attraction

what do too many wannabe alphas and jerks do? no rapport.

the trick is follow through
That makes sense. I will give it a shot over the weekend and see what happens. Seems I have been doing one or the other but not both.

I just realized that I have also been too obvious. Which reduces mystery...
 

BeExcellent

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The short answer to your question is yes.

You are too impatient. Here's why I say that...A man with abundance & lots of choices never acts as though the goal is to get laid. He gets laid really in spite of himself.

Here's how that plays out. Once you are over approach anxiety you'll introduce yourself at will to whomever you please. That's to your advantage. Chat a little, create a bit of rapport, and if she's feeling you? Move on to the next girl or group of girls. Do the same thing. Introduce, tease, build rapport (but not too much) & then circulate. Float over to other girls, chat with your wingman or other guys, ask a chick to dance...excuse yourself to the men's room or the bar.

Then you resume flirting with women who you've already introduced yourself to as you circulate.

This is how to work a room 101. Be patient. You have venues you frequent. So do the women you like. You'll see that over a few different nights of being out and about you'll see other frequent fliers. Be cool, be friendly & circulate. Don't get tunnel vision. Be engaging when you are chatting to a girl but don't zero in on women. This will offer you social proof, cool factor, aloofness, mystery and familiarity.

And women will begin to make escalation easier for you once you are seen as less obtainable. Let them come to you. Then closing becomes as simple as:

"I'm hungry. Let's grab pizza" (or breakfast), whatever. Once she tags along for a bite to eat after hours you have her 1 on 1. And closing is much easier.

But be patient and gain exposure. The more people think you are cool the more desirable you become if you are social and circulating.
 

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Isn’t comfort anti-seductive? The times I have had sex with a girl on the same night she didn’t know anything about me...I can see how rapport would be important..
To some women it's within their comfort zone to hook up with strangers, to most it isn't so they need to be made comfortable going with you. They don't need to know you deeply or anything, just enough to feel safe you're cool and not a lunatic who will stalk them for a year afterwards or do anything creepy.

Comfort + tension = excitement/attraction
Comfort without tension = boring
Tension without comfort = uncomfortable
Tension here is built through rapport.

C0cky/funny is a decent example of the principles. By being c0cky you build tension, by exposing it as a joke (being funny) you build comfort. So you come across as a guy confident enough to say risky things, but you're not actually that c0cky guy.
 
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Hey,

So I have no problem approaching girls. Actually I believe I have the opposite of approach anxiety. I want to talk to every good looking girl I see. The issue is that I can walk up to a girl at a club, dance with her, talk, sometimes even kiss her, and get her number if she’s with friends to hangout later. But most of them don’t end in dates...

Also I get girls who make up bs reasons why they can’t come over to my place at the end of the night...am I too impatient? My ideal scenario is to meet a girl and have sex with her on the same night. I’m not looking to date or get to know them. How can I close girls on the same night in nightclubs?
$300.
 

Bigmike89

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Has anyone gotten positive feedback from being sexually direct verbally in a club environment? I don’t mean being sexually direct as an opener but as a means of building attraction during a conversation?

When I have done it in the past, it seems girls welcome it because they feel desired, and as a result get an ego boost. That ego boost usually doesn’t translate into them wanting to meet up later even when I get their number...
 

BeExcellent

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Comfort + tension = excitement/attraction
Comfort without tension = boring
Tension without comfort = uncomfortable
Tension here is built through rapport.
That is the answer. Put that into the context I suggested about circulating and you'll create desire in women you interact with. You might not get laid the same night, but be patient. You'll create familiarity and desire which will create opportunities for you. In time you'll start to get some same night lays and you'll start to get on the list of women who get "intrigued" by you which will give you some 'long game' opportunities.

Read some of @Redzky 's field reports. From what I've seen he is in the NYC club scene and does well. Notice how he builds desire and rapport simultaneously.

I've been a nightlife person for decades and married a prominent club owner in the 1990s. So I'm telling you what I've seen work in club game but Redzky breaks it down play by play from a man's perspective, which you might find useful.
 

ItsFate451

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Hey,

So I have no problem approaching girls. Actually I believe I have the opposite of approach anxiety. I want to talk to every good looking girl I see. The issue is that I can walk up to a girl at a club, dance with her, talk, sometimes even kiss her, and get her number if she’s with friends to hangout later. But most of them don’t end in dates...

Also I get girls who make up bs reasons why they can’t come over to my place at the end of the night...am I too impatient? My ideal scenario is to meet a girl and have sex with her on the same night. I’m not looking to date or get to know them. How can I close girls on the same night in nightclubs?

In my opinion Nightclubs are the worst spots to pick up girls.
 

Bigmike89

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That is the answer. Put that into the context I suggested about circulating and you'll create desire in women you interact with. You might not get laid the same night, but be patient. You'll create familiarity and desire which will create opportunities for you. In time you'll start to get some same night lays and you'll start to get on the list of women who get "intrigued" by you which will give you some 'long game' opportunities.

Read some of @Redzky 's field reports. From what I've seen he is in the NYC club scene and does well. Notice how he builds desire and rapport simultaneously.

I've been a nightlife person for decades and married a prominent club owner in the 1990s. So I'm telling you what I've seen work in club game but Redzky breaks it down play by play from a man's perspective, which you might find useful.
Since this post I have closed two girls on the same night. When I am out. I circulate, socialize. I don’t focus on getting numbers anymore.

The last girl I closed on the same night wanted to give me her phone number after after talking for about 15 mins. In the past I would have taken it and walked way. Planning to reach out to her after a few days.

This time though I told her I wanted to get to know her first before getting her number. We talked some more, the bar closed. We got an Uber with her friend to her apartment 7 mins away from the bar.

We get to her place, her friend, her and myself opened up a bottle of champagne, listen to music and hangout for an hour before her friend leaves. Then we went into her bedroom and had sex
 
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Since this post I have closed two girls on the same night. When I am out. I circulate, socialize. I don’t focus on getting numbers anymore.

The last girl I closed on the same night wanted to give me her phone number after after talking for about 15 mins. In the past I would have taken it and walked way. Planning to reach out to her after a few days.

This time though I told her I wanted to get to know her first before getting her number. We talked some more, the bar closed. We got an Uber with her friend to her apartment 7 mins away from the bar.

We get to her place, her friend, her and myself opened up a bottle of champagne, listen to music and hangout for an hour before her friend leaves. Then we went into her bedroom and had sex
What do you talk about at the bar? Or even at her place for that matter?
 
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