Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to build social circle from scratch

suave sauce

New Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2015
Messages
9
Reaction score
4
Age
30
Location
Maine
I recently just got out of a LTRS and im in the same position you're in, having to start from scratch. What I've found is that you need to start putting yourself out there more and being able to flowbwith the flow or roll with the punches. Something that sounds almost obvious but so many people do it anyways is that you can't be to needy or desperate. When you start acting like someone who really needs friends it scares people away. And also you should be able to look in the mirror and be impressed with what you see not just physically but mentally. This isn't as hard as you probably think either. Like pook says "what you think of yourself you will become". So start telling yourself that your the goal, your the man and anybody that will meet you and give you the time of day will enjoy you. And if someone doesn't like you or just doesn't want to be your friend dont worry about it.
 

GeoMan

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2014
Messages
98
Reaction score
10
For what purpose? I hope its not some weak beta attempt to impress women.
Just came off nasty relationship and realized part of the reason I've been so depressed is because I don't really have any friends. Growing up I was decently popular and decent with girls. Now I'm in a big slump of unabling to connect and build relationships with people.
 

Poon King

Banned
Joined
Nov 30, 2014
Messages
1,621
Reaction score
2,255
Location
Deep
Just came off nasty relationship and realized part of the reason I've been so depressed is because I don't really have any friends. Growing up I was decently popular and decent with girls. Now I'm in a big slump of unabling to connect and build relationships with people.
I never try to connect or build relationships with people. I just do what I like to do and I naturally meet people with similar interests. Then I become friends with those people.

Life gets easier when you stop trying to be what other people want and just do what you want. I would be a pathetic beta b!tch if I didn't have this mindset. Doing your own thing ensures people come to you.. and they are people who like what you're about. NOT people you chase after and mold yourself to impress.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

skinnyguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2013
Messages
3,478
Reaction score
1,264
I never try to connect or build relationships with people. I just do what I like to do and I naturally meet people with similar interests. Then I become friends with those people.

Life gets easier when you stop trying to be what other people want and just do what you want. I would be a pathetic beta b!tch if I didn't have this mindset. Doing your own thing ensures people come to you.. and they are people who like what you're about. NOT people you chase after and mold yourself to impress.
Oh really.

So you don't try to connect with women at all. They just end up in your lap right.

The problem with fake alphas on this site is that their ego is too big to admit that they need friends and need women.

Try not to pedestalize the fake DJs on this site. They are actually very unhappy with life and use SOS as an outlet to act tough when in fact they cannot dominate other men in real life.
 

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,074
Reaction score
1,687
Oh really.

So you don't try to connect with women at all. They just end up in your lap right.
You are confusing the issues. Connecting with women doesn't mean they will end up in your lap. She could completely connect with you and then go sleep with the other guy.

Its about doing your own thing and having woman come to you. As soon as you "try to" do anything with a woman, and she realizes you are trying, she will absolutely DESTROY you.
 

FCB

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 3, 2015
Messages
115
Reaction score
51
He's talking about a social circle and friends, didn't even mention getting women. Having a lot of relationships makes you more independent of each, which is a good thing it has nothing to do with changing yourself to please others having meaningful relationships of any kind is of great value in life, not many people go around being unhappy having lots of them but the opposite can be true. That doesn't run counter to doing what makes you happy and doing your own thing, good relationships of any kind shouldn't hinder that and actually should improve on those aspects.
 

foreverAFC

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Messages
1,234
Reaction score
140
Now I'm in a big slump of unabling to connect and build relationships with people.
i think this is just called being an adult, this is pretty much how life is for most men out there, welcome to this is the rest of your life

just be lucky you havent suffered a divorce and had most of your assets and money taken, with tons of alimony and child payments in addition to that, i mean i remember guys in construction who had worked for 30 years and had payed off a house and earned a pension only to have it all taken away by a cheating wife, just be glad you arent that guy, who is forced to rent a room from a coworker and live off $400 a month after working over 30 years of dangerous manual labor to try to get your retirement, it can always be worse
 

Poon King

Banned
Joined
Nov 30, 2014
Messages
1,621
Reaction score
2,255
Location
Deep
Oh really.

So you don't try to connect with women at all. They just end up in your lap right.

The problem with fake alphas on this site is that their ego is too big to admit that they need friends and need women.

Try not to pedestalize the fake DJs on this site. They are actually very unhappy with life and use SOS as an outlet to act tough when in fact they cannot dominate other men in real life.
You sound like a buffoon.

No I don't try to connect with women at all. I try to have sex with them. If we connect after.. its because she has put in some work. Also, YOU are the unhappy one. And its pretty obvious by your pathetic, beta, weak, punk-ass posts.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,520
Reaction score
2,066
Location
Australia
Arrrgh I don't see how much of this is helping the OP.

Poon King as an exercise in self control do you think you could go a week without using the phrase beta faggot in any post.

Now back on point. If you live in a decent Neighborhood I would suggest trying to get some local joints where you hang out regularly.
So as a minimum I suggest a local cafe a local bar and a gym and also a farmers market if you got one nearby. Make sure that you tip and make friends with the staff and then you've got a number of venues where you re treated like a king. This helps tremendously in just getting you used to that social vibe is being interested in people and remembering something about their lives. You should be that guy who knows Mario the bartender has two kids and knows the names of his kids and when their birthdays are etc.

And the bonus is that when you take dates to these places it will impress the panties off them.
 

parkthebus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2015
Messages
509
Reaction score
151
Age
33
Arrrgh I don't see how much of this is helping the OP.

Poon King as an exercise in self control do you think you could go a week without using the phrase beta faggot in any post.
:D:D:D
 

evan12

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2012
Messages
1,315
Reaction score
263
I come new to the country , and had to move to another city and loose my circle that I created in the first place , so here is some of my experience :
1- you have to be in place when there is a chance to meet people , classes , church , meetups , events .
2- You have to make people perceive you as equal or higher value to want to hangout with you . I found when you look happier than them they tend to come to you , while if you are more sad than them they will run from you .
3- You have to have something to offer like taking them to some fun places , tell fun stories or giving them impression that you might hook them with girls (or guys if they are girls ) .
4- If you are socially awkward or have SE go every day to bar or club and talk to people until you become at least normal.
5- it took me 3 year in my previous city to build friendship with other and now I am in the third year here and the friendship start building again , so it seem this is my average speed.
 
Top