"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How to beat high metabolism?

Not Quite There

Senior Don Juan
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Basically, no matter how much i eat, i cannot put on weight!!! I eat more than my brother, but he weighs a stone more than me!


I think its something to do with when i was younger, i was veggie for years, and i think this somehow affected my metabolism.

But now i eat meat pretty often, and eat quite a lot of **** fatty food, but it doesnt do anything! I think i must have hollow legs!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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semag

Master Don Juan
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1) read the guide to bulking up.

2) Do what it says

3) the end.
 

PeeGee

Senior Don Juan
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To be skinny, not fat, but not muscular? It's not exactly the best situation to be in.
 

Double

Master Don Juan
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i would kill whole villages to be in the situation of these millions of "unlucky" people. u think it's cool when you have to eat every hour huh.
 

Daral

Don Juan
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I've got an uber-fast metabolism and I'm more than happy with it. I, too, am vegetarian so that might have something to do with it, although I was like this even before going vegetarian so it's probably not related.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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slickjesse

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i totally know your problem. to gain weight ive been basically eating till i feel like i might throw up and then as soon as i think i could possibly eat more, i do. i did this for two months and one of my friends came up to me and asked me if i lost weight. that was pretty depressing. i think ive gained something like 3 pounds. no real point to my post other than saying your not alone with this problem.
 

padrote

Don Juan
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Originally posted by Not Quite There
no matter how much i eat
You state this as if it's a fact.

It's a simple thing really, your body burns more calories during the day than an average person's body. Eat 4000 calories (proper calories, read bulking guides) a day spread into 6 meals, if you don't gain weight eat 5000 calories and so on, eventually you'll hit the right amount.

Work your way up to that amount of calories or you'll feel overstuffed a lot. Your body will adapt to receiving inordinate amounts of food.
 

medik167

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Just eating like a cow won't give you the best results. BUILD MUSCLE. Adopt a good mass routine, purchase some whey, maybe add some creatine & glutamine, and hit the gym. The combination of lifting for mass (low reps, high weight, core lifts), high protein diet, good supplementation, and plenty of sleep will help you achieve your goal.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
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i have the same thing going on , but im a girl so i guess its ok
 

tigre

Don Juan
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you THINK you´re eating enough but you arent. I suggest go to the gym and eat like a mothafvcka. thats what Im doing(I also have high metabolism).
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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eps

Don Juan
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Dude I had to eat 3500+ calories per day when I was smaller... 30 lbs later I needed close to 5000 calories per day to maintain my weight... it's not easy. I feel you :)
 
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