"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How to be persistent and aggressive without appearing needy and desperate?
- Thread starter lazikia
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
There was this girl at my old job. I'd flirt with her, She'd flirt back. But I still couldn't get her to commit to a meetup outside the office. So sometimes I'd back off - turn off the attention faucet (attention is like currency to these girls). Then she'd come on stronger to get the attention back.
I'd say stuff like, "It's Friday. What are WE doing this weekend? Wine & massages?" Like I know her shy as* was gonna say no. But I wanted to get the idea across that I was trying to get with her. This wasn't some kind of friendship deal.
Or she'd say "My parents are away for the weekend..."
And before the sentence finished I'd say "So you're inviting me over?" Just playful funny stuff.
This works when the girl is shy or playing hard to get, but she's still INTO whatever game you're kicking. If a girl doesn't like you, this stuff won't work. It took like two months of toying around with her before I got her out of the office and in bed, but it taught me that "no" isn't always no. This was years ago...these days I feel like there are too many girls out there for me to sweet talk one for weeks at a time.
It's not that persistence is a bad thing, it's just that these days, I'd rather invest my time and energy in a girl who KNOWs what she wants instead of sitting around playing the "I like him/I don't know if I like him" game.
JdelaSilviera
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 10, 2010
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- 564
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
wasted-nick
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2010
- Messages
- 52
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The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
You can't assume for a second that being persistent and aggressive is a good thing... maybe Persistent/aggressive was the best choice at the time, considering the chump satellites hovering by said chick.
Making assumptions can land you in a lot of trouble, all around.
Sir Psycho Sexy
Senior Don Juan
Playing hard to means she is interested...just gotta play your cards right.
new_hotness
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2010
- Messages
- 61
- Reaction score
- 3
The situation today is that most guys are huddled away in a corner playing video games eating fast food with no social skills.
Any guy who makes a move of any kind therefore is going to stand out in a positive way.
Don't be afraid to take a chance, dude. The only way to fail is by being afraid to fail.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.