Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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How to be Icemann?

European-DJ

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Honestly, i need some serious help with this issue!

I have to become some kind of an IceMann, since i hate the fact that i get too emotionally involved .. I get hurt everytime, and sometimes heartache is worse than getting beat up ..

Any help/post's/advice?

Please.

Regards
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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joverby

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This is a reoccuring theme with a lot of guys. Used to be me too.

It's not that you need to be some Iceman. It's that you need other sh1t going on in your life. More hobbies/activities and friends etc.

Which should lead to more self esteem which won't make you get as hurt and a bigger social circle which should lead to meeting more girls.
 

sexysuave

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Hmmm, you're in luck!! Iceman himself actually posts on this forum!!

Iceman, educate please!! ;)
 

C-quenced

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European-DJ said:
Honestly, i need some serious help with this issue!

I have to become some kind of an IceMann, since i hate the fact that i get too emotionally involved .. I get hurt everytime, and sometimes heartache is worse than getting beat up ..

Any help/post's/advice?

Please.

Regards
It's a real b!tch to deal with this situation. I KNOW because I used to be this way. You'll likely have to rough it out through experience and several severe heartbreaks and eventually you'll just stop giving a ****.

It'll help a great deal if you QUIT trying to get married and stop looking for an LTR. The sooner you acknowledge that there's no one special woman out there in existence waiting for you the sooner you'll find peace within yourself. Come to terms with the fact that you need to STOP taking women so goddamn serious. Forget what society tells you and STOP building your life around women. When you're building your life you build it around yourself and your own happiness. This life is for you so don't let anyone else run it (especially a female).
 

Scars

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Date a girl with borderline personality disorder for awhile. By the time you guys break up you will be emotionally calloused and hard as a rock.

All "joking" a side..

Don't be too ashamed or hard on yourself for having feelings. It's human nature. It's alright to be bummed over a girl every once in awhile. If they didn't effect us in some way, then we wouldn't learn from our mistakes. We would just keep repeating them. Instead, I offer you a different approach. Take your pain and use it as a tool for growth. Realize where you went wrong and fix it.

If you feel that the actual "problem" is still your attachment issues, then maybe you need to distract yourself more, or spin more plates. Not becoming attached quickly is also a skill, much like some of the other stuff you've learned here. You won't ever be a full blown sociopath (probably a good thing), but you can slow down the process of falling in "love" through time, and reminding yourself of all the battle wounds you suffered from the past.

-Scars
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Tiguere

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you would have to go through an emotional trauma before that happens. like getting backstabbed by a close friend relative then looking yourself in the mirror and realize you are on your own in this cruel world.
 

AlexDP

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Scars said:
Date a girl with borderline personality disorder for awhile. By the time you guys break up you will be emotionally calloused and hard as a rock.

All "joking" a side..
It does solve his problem :D. I mean, I'm sure it's risky, as there are stories of guys who have simply killed themselves over these AW's, but as long as you don't commit suicide, you do come out of it a much better man.
 

Strelok

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It depends on the chemistry of your brain, just like a drug addict who dope his brain chemistry needs more and more of the same substance to have an effect, a man whos used to be struck from emotion develop a certain tolerance therefore the effect is lower.

To desensitize young man before war in soviet russia they were forced to kill some beasts.
 

Chamber36

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I think it's better to get HOT than it is to get cold.
 

European-DJ

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Hmm.. Some of this advice was very helpfull! ..

The problem is, usually, i only love the thrill of the chase .. but when a girl (like this one) took me ½ year to bed ( i was bedding others while hunting her), then i instantly fall in love..

Why?? because i finally have her, and simply wont let go .. atm i am in a relationsship with her .. but honestly, i do not trust her .. another problem - i tend to become very jealous.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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