"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How to be Icemann?

European-DJ

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Honestly, i need some serious help with this issue!

I have to become some kind of an IceMann, since i hate the fact that i get too emotionally involved .. I get hurt everytime, and sometimes heartache is worse than getting beat up ..

Any help/post's/advice?

Please.

Regards
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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joverby

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This is a reoccuring theme with a lot of guys. Used to be me too.

It's not that you need to be some Iceman. It's that you need other sh1t going on in your life. More hobbies/activities and friends etc.

Which should lead to more self esteem which won't make you get as hurt and a bigger social circle which should lead to meeting more girls.
 

sexysuave

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Hmmm, you're in luck!! Iceman himself actually posts on this forum!!

Iceman, educate please!! ;)
 

C-quenced

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European-DJ said:
Honestly, i need some serious help with this issue!

I have to become some kind of an IceMann, since i hate the fact that i get too emotionally involved .. I get hurt everytime, and sometimes heartache is worse than getting beat up ..

Any help/post's/advice?

Please.

Regards
It's a real b!tch to deal with this situation. I KNOW because I used to be this way. You'll likely have to rough it out through experience and several severe heartbreaks and eventually you'll just stop giving a ****.

It'll help a great deal if you QUIT trying to get married and stop looking for an LTR. The sooner you acknowledge that there's no one special woman out there in existence waiting for you the sooner you'll find peace within yourself. Come to terms with the fact that you need to STOP taking women so goddamn serious. Forget what society tells you and STOP building your life around women. When you're building your life you build it around yourself and your own happiness. This life is for you so don't let anyone else run it (especially a female).
 

Scars

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Date a girl with borderline personality disorder for awhile. By the time you guys break up you will be emotionally calloused and hard as a rock.

All "joking" a side..

Don't be too ashamed or hard on yourself for having feelings. It's human nature. It's alright to be bummed over a girl every once in awhile. If they didn't effect us in some way, then we wouldn't learn from our mistakes. We would just keep repeating them. Instead, I offer you a different approach. Take your pain and use it as a tool for growth. Realize where you went wrong and fix it.

If you feel that the actual "problem" is still your attachment issues, then maybe you need to distract yourself more, or spin more plates. Not becoming attached quickly is also a skill, much like some of the other stuff you've learned here. You won't ever be a full blown sociopath (probably a good thing), but you can slow down the process of falling in "love" through time, and reminding yourself of all the battle wounds you suffered from the past.

-Scars
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Tiguere

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you would have to go through an emotional trauma before that happens. like getting backstabbed by a close friend relative then looking yourself in the mirror and realize you are on your own in this cruel world.
 

AlexDP

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Scars said:
Date a girl with borderline personality disorder for awhile. By the time you guys break up you will be emotionally calloused and hard as a rock.

All "joking" a side..
It does solve his problem :D. I mean, I'm sure it's risky, as there are stories of guys who have simply killed themselves over these AW's, but as long as you don't commit suicide, you do come out of it a much better man.
 

Strelok

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It depends on the chemistry of your brain, just like a drug addict who dope his brain chemistry needs more and more of the same substance to have an effect, a man whos used to be struck from emotion develop a certain tolerance therefore the effect is lower.

To desensitize young man before war in soviet russia they were forced to kill some beasts.
 

Chamber36

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I think it's better to get HOT than it is to get cold.
 

European-DJ

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Hmm.. Some of this advice was very helpfull! ..

The problem is, usually, i only love the thrill of the chase .. but when a girl (like this one) took me ½ year to bed ( i was bedding others while hunting her), then i instantly fall in love..

Why?? because i finally have her, and simply wont let go .. atm i am in a relationsship with her .. but honestly, i do not trust her .. another problem - i tend to become very jealous.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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