"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How to approach the topic of "commited relationship"

killerasp

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So i have been dating this girl for awhile now (almost 3 months) and things are serious between us. Neither one of us have ever brought up the issue of being in a comitted realtionship (being gf/bf). I really care about her and i feel ready to be in a relationship with her and i want to take the next step with her.

How do you think i should go about talking about the issue? what should i say?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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specialed

Don Juan
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3 months is a long time to just date and not have a relationship, i'm surprised that she is still around. No offense to you at all.

They say to wait until she brings something up about a relationship...well for me the first and LAST time i waited for a girl to do that she left me after a month because she thought "she was just some other girl" because i wasn't initiating anything about a relationship.

just bring it up...see what happens.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Actually 3 months isn't a long time. More times than not the fortitude of a relationship isn't determined until the 6 month mark. That's the point when people really start thinking about a viable LTR with their partner. It's the time when both people can look back at enough past experiences with their partner to determine whether going beyond the 6 month mark is worth the the continued effort.
 

specialed

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just stating from experience is all. and the experience of friends. although i'm 20 and you are 39 heh you got 19 years on me!
 

rocky_mtn

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You pretty much said it yourself, tell her

I really care about you and i feel ready to be in a relationship and i want to take the next step.

Then ask her if she wants to be your g/f



I agree with others that 3 months is a long time. I'm about to do the same thing but after 1 month.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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