ChocolateVanilla
Don Juan
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- Sep 5, 2007
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Join a frat. I'm sure your school has one.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
This isn't true mate. I've been racking my brains out for 3 years trying to figure out why me and everyone I knew got nothing at uni. I then got to know a 6' 1" black guy rugby player and a few of his white friends, they are single and sexless too. It actually made me feel a lot better, sadly. :-|JackBauer24 said:If you live on campus in the university, you will meet women and get laid. You're living together with them. No bs phone games, and they don't have other prospects unless they have some AFC long-distance boyfriend. You're they're option. Unless you're butt-ugly, which you probably aren't, even if you're shy, you'll meet girls.
to put things in perspective, you're way ahead of some of the other guys posting because you've gotten rid of the approach anxiety. now all you gotta do is figure out what you're doing wrong and fix it (which will happen naturally if you're putting yourself out there regularly)Maxtro said:So now I can talk to anybody, I still don't have a clue what to talk about or how to bridge the gap between acquaintance and friend.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
the reason why i use "sometime" is you just want to give her the idea that you want to have coffee with her..doesn't matter what time. If a girl wants to have coffee with you/interested, she'll say "yeah". The problem with asking her right after class is most of the time, she has to meet up with a group, study, work on a project, go to another class..many things she might be doing after class. So if you ask her for coffee right after class, she might be busy, and you might take that excuse as a rejection, when she really has to do something else..when asking sometime, you're really asking her if she'd EVER want to have coffee with you, so you know she's interested, now all you have to do is figure out a time when you're both freeJitterbug said:Why "some time"? Asking that just sounds weak and will likely get an awkward response, i.e a no, because it's pretty obvious that he's asking them out in a weak way. I used to ask similar questions and they never worked, or I'd just get flakes.
i try to get to class 5-10 minutes before it starts and sit next to a hottie and start talking to her. Most of the time, they are very friendly and open to talk..just get her comfortable in 5-10 minutes then just say we should have coffee sometime, if she says "yes", then say how about after class? or you can just get rapport before class starts, then when you're leaving ask her if she wants to have coffee..the problem with asking for a specific time is that most of the time, she's gonna be busy and you'll take that as a rejection, when in reality, she really has to do study etc..asking her sometime, let's you know if she's interested or not. I don't see how asking "sometime" will make her say no.Maxtro said:Hmm so you are suggesting taking them out to coffee relatively soon after meeting them. Thats an interesting concept. When is the best time to ask? Start, middle or towards the end of class?
Of course half of the time she might be busy, and you might get a no, but if she's interested, she will make some alternative arrangement. It's never a rejection until she explicitly says NO to your romantic advances. This is just an invitation to go out for coffee. Not a big deal.Tear Gas said:the reason why i use "sometime" is you just want to give her the idea that you want to have coffee with her..doesn't matter what time. If a girl wants to have coffee with you/interested, she'll say "yeah". The problem with asking her right after class is most of the time, she has to meet up with a group, study, work on a project, go to another class..many things she might be doing after class. So if you ask her for coffee right after class, she might be busy, and you might take that excuse as a rejection, when she really has to do something else..when asking sometime, you're really asking her if she'd EVER want to have coffee with you, so you know she's interested, now all you have to do is figure out a time when you're both free![]()
Thats what I experienced from elementary school all throughout high school. That shit is still affecting me today. I know girls are more mature now then when they were young but I'm still scared.Jitterbug said:Why would anyone hate a person who likes him/her? As long as you don't behave like a stalker, you'll be fine. F'in hell, men like women and women like men. That's natural and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
A smile and a Hi is easy but it can't get you very far unless you know how to connect the dots. I can't exactly say, "Hi, do you have any hobbies?" But I do know that a good way to get people to open up is to ask them what they have planned or what they did on the weekend.Jitterbug said:Practice, practice, practice. Starting with a Hi is the most popular way and there's nothing wrong with that.
Acquire as many hobbies and interests as you can, then you'll have plenty to talk about.
That actually makes since. I guess I am waiting for a girl to pick me up and make the moves on me. I've actually had that happen a few times but the girls were about twice my size. I'm the one who needs to go out and get what he wants.Last Man Standing said:Your frame of mind is not right! Men don't get laid (are you a woman?) - laid is a passive state - men are not passive, we are the aggressors - we lay women - thus women get laid!!!!! Unless you are a pervert then never use that word!! Get the language, your frame of mind, right!!!
Here's a question. There is a chick that I'm after that likes to surf and go hiking. I would like to learn how to surf. I would like to somehow get us both on the beach but that seems a bit too complicated. She's talked about how she likes to go hiking. I'm thinking about asking her where she goes so I can check the place out or maybe suggest that we go together.Bible_Belt said:I still don't have a clue what to talk about or how to bridge the gap between acquaintance and friend.
Common ground is the answer. You have to have something in common, or else there is no reason to talk. Dealing with women is the common ground we share here, which is fueling this conversation. Find something you both like, then you have something to talk about and a reason to meet outside of school.
I constantly try to do everything you pointed out. Most of that stuff is common knowledge for me. I can get in the friendzone if I am able to spend enough time with the person. But getting in the friendzone is not something that is desired. The part that I'm missing is the thing that makes her want to spend time with me once class is over.ready123 said:to put things in perspective, you're way ahead of some of the other guys posting because you've gotten rid of the approach anxiety. now all you gotta do is figure out what you're doing wrong and fix it (which will happen naturally if you're putting yourself out there regularly)
some ideas on how to make friends from acquaintances
- find a common interest (could be anything from an activity to a way of looking at the world)
- make sure you have a positive attitude when you're socializing (people want to be around people who bring them up, not make them feel miserable)
- have a giving, selfless mindset instead of one that's focused on what you can get from other people. have empathy for other peoples' problems, listen proactively, care genuinely
- open up and share the things that make you human (likes, dreams, fears, opinions, passions, whatever)
there are a ton of tips and I'm just throwing some out. I don't know specifically what you're lacking because I've never seen you socialize
once you can get in the friend zone a few times, you'll realize there's a space prior to becoming a friend where anything goes. this is where you'll run your attraction game later if you don't want things to be platonic
and college is the best place to meet women because the social atmosphere never stops. practice
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Maxtro said:I don't plan on joining a frat. I'm going to be 27 when I start a university.
I constantly try to do everything you pointed out. Most of that stuff is common knowledge for me. I can get in the friendzone if I am able to spend enough time with the person. But getting in the friendzone is not something that is desired. The part that I'm missing is the thing that makes her want to spend time with me once class is over.
The attraction game is my sticking point and I don't know how to pull that off in a 10 minute window before or after class.
I'll practice the suggesting coffee something thing, I'd also need to be getting phone numbers.
just a word of advice: when the big men in white coats finally come to take you away, they're just there to help, don't be afraid.Last Man Standing said:The Homo Devil hates truth, and he cries out in anguish!! Die Devil!! DIE!!!
I actually started Jr. college when I was 19. That was in the fall, a few months after I graduated. I've been basically going to Jr. college nonstop since then. Obviously I didn't do that well. I've never been a good student. For most of my life I've been battling depression. I was a "D" student from 1-12 and most of Jr. college. I only passed about half the classes I enrolled in. But I did pass half of my classes and once I realized that I can actually go away to college and live on my own. Just recently like in 2007 I decided to get my act together and I have actually been doing pretty good. But yeah most of my early twenties was wasted, and I wasn't partying or banging chicks eitherDonJuan11 said:27 when you start University? What did you do between 18 and 26?
Maxtro, you must have ADD or not pay attention to what you are reading on here. You say "the attraction game is my sticking point and I don't know how to pull that off." Let me ask you: Why would a girl what to sleep with you and let you see her naked? Give us 2 good reasons.
yeah if the logistics don't work, change them. 10 mins is hard for anyone developing skills to get results unless you've been stacking attraction game for 10 mins a day. walk the girl to her car, ask if she wants to get coffee, if it's lunch invite her to get a bite to eat. find something you think is genuinely interesting about her and feed off it. if the convo is on point and she's having fun, the logistics will bend in your favor anywayMaxtro said:The part that I'm missing is the thing that makes her want to spend time with me once class is over.
The attraction game is my sticking point and I don't know how to pull that off in a 10 minute window before or after class.
I'll practice the suggesting coffee something thing, I'd also need to be getting phone numbers.
Thats exactly what I've been trying to do with one girl. This is the second semester that we are in a class together. What sucks now is that there are two other guys who are talking to her. Last year it was pretty much just me. And yeah I move way too slowly. I basically got a second chance, but now there is competition.ready123 said:yeah if the logistics don't work, change them. 10 mins is hard for anyone developing skills to get results unless you've been stacking attraction game for 10 mins a day. walk the girl to her car, ask if she wants to get coffee, if it's lunch invite her to get a bite to eat. find something you think is genuinely interesting about her and feed off it. if the convo is on point and she's having fun, the logistics will bend in your favor anyway
also sounds like you found several sticking points from opener to inner game. good luck and have fun w/ it.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Not true at all. No other prospects? Try every other male on campus. And the most attractive girls are usually already taken to begin with.JackBauer24 said:If you live on campus in the university, you will meet women and get laid. You're living together with them. No bs phone games, and they don't have other prospects unless they have some AFC long-distance boyfriend. You're they're option. Unless you're butt-ugly, which you probably aren't, even if you're shy, you'll meet girls.
Maxtro said:Why would a girl want to sleep with me?
1. I have a pretty cool, fun, laid back personality when I can finally relax and open up to people. (Women say they are attracted to a guy's personality)
2. My body is better than the average males. I'm really starting to see results after I've been working out for a while. (No doubt women are attracted to a nice body)
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.