How the decline in casual dinning parallels a man’s struggles in modern dating

[characternote]

Chad and looks thinking it will compensate for their lame personalities

in fairness, it's no more daft than thinking that 'flirting in an engaging way'/showing good social skills/conversation with a girl half your age who is very pretty whilst you are fat old and bald will get her in bed lol.

Attraction always comes first. If you are not her type, then the 'flirting' is simply unwanted attention.

And yeah, no old short guy is banging a tonne of hot 19 year old girls from online dating!! (unless he's paying for it). Lets be real lol

 

[corrector]

The reality is a lot of guys fail with women and then they project their results unto other men, the truth is I could post pictures of guys who do not fit the "Chad/Tyrone" archetype that I know personally. These guys are getting tons of tail including a guy who is a 5'2 pilot, but according to this site that's impossible cause he's 5'2, yet his confidence infield makes him act like he's 6'2!

I reckon a lotta of guys here get/got rejected a ton and are butthurt about it also I reckon a lot of men in general (and here) suffer from various things but I would reckon lotta guys are autistic, don't know how to talk to women in a flirty engaging way, lack truth confidence hence so many guys are obsessed with Chad and looks thinking it will compensate for their lame personalities.

You brought up copes in your earlier posts and conceded some guys need them. Do you really believe what you are saying?

(Working from home and between calls and being paid while I am writing this, seeing I have to defend this too now).

 

[Solomon]

in fairness, it's no more daft than thinking that 'flirting in an engaging way'/showing good social skills/conversation with a girl half your age who is very pretty whilst you are fat old and bald will get her in bed lol.

Attraction always comes first. If you are not her type, then the 'flirting' is simply unwanted attention.

And yeah, no old short guy is banging a tonne of hot 19 year old girls from online dating!! (unless he's paying for it). Lets be real lol

Is everyone on this site old and bald? i don't think so, I thought it was understood that being in shape in 2024 is a must?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Blind Men and the Elephant

Blind Men and the Elephant - Read this famous Indian fable. What is the meaning? How can it be interpreted? Is there a bigger message?

www.allaboutphilosophy.org

We each find our success in a different way. And are often incapable of seeing another way of achieving success, other than our own.
In my case, I have a good face. And I really cannot relate to someone who has used another (physique, Game, personality...) as a means to success. What works for me won't work for others and vice-versa.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The reality is a lot of guys fail with women and then they project their results unto other men, the truth is I could post pictures of guys who do not fit the "Chad/Tyrone" archetype that I know personally. These guys are getting tons of tail including a guy who is a 5'2 pilot, but according to this site that's impossible cause he's 5'2, yet his confidence infield makes him act like he's 6'2!

I reckon a lotta of guys here get/got rejected a ton and are butthurt about it also I reckon a lot of men in general (and here) suffer from various things but I would reckon lotta guys are autistic, don't know how to talk to women in a flirty engaging way, lack truth confidence hence so many guys are obsessed with Chad and looks thinking it will compensate for their lame personalities.

Actually. Being good looking (Chad?) will compensate for just about anything. However, it is clear that one can achieve one's goals through other means than being good looking.

 

[zekko]

The economy is doing terrible.

You should see all the people who try to convince me otherwise, lol.

 

[corrector]

Actually. Being good looking (Chad?) will compensate for just about anything. However, it is clear that one can achieve one's goals through other means than being good looking.

To be the devil's advocate, you did admit that after your divorce you went to the gym and self-improved. A face if you are overweight or obese is not the same face if it's at 12% bf. Is that your experience as well before and after you hit the gym?

Going back to point here...it seems that @Pierce Manhammer is on my case because I have not looksmaxxed or gymmaxxed (thanks for liking his posts and then posting blackpill things afterwards!). I feel I may be in for disappointment because it looks like I have deep issues trying to get most women for any baseline level of attraction in the first place. I mean if you have a good facial features then even if you are obese you are still going to be able to pull, just not as frequently or high-up the looks scale compared to being in shape. It won't be as extreme like my case or your incel friends who have even paid professionals rejecting them, right?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

To be the devil's advocate, you did admit that after your divorce you went to the gym and self-improved. A face if you are overweight or obese is not the same face if it's at 12% bf. Is that your experience as well before and after you hit the gym?

Going back to point here...it seems that @Pierce Manhammer is on my case because I have not looksmaxxed or gymmaxxed (thanks for liking his posts and then posting blackpill things afterwards!). I feel I may be in for disappointment because it looks like I have deep issues trying to get most women for any baseline level of attraction in the first place. I mean if you have a good facial features then even if you are obese you are still going to be able to pull, just not as frequently or high-up the looks scale compared to being in shape. It won't be as extreme like my case or your incel friends who have even paid professionals rejecting them, right?

Yeah. I did lose BF. Probably at least 10%. Made a HUGE dfference.

I’m fairly Blackpilled. But, as was my BF reduction experience, I’m also big believer in self-improvement.

The look on the stripper’s face when I suggested she entertain him instead of me is indelibly etched into my brain. As if I suggested she wash her hair in pig urine.

As for her being a ‘professional’. It’s a bit of a grey area. Prostitution is illegal here. And. The police actually do enforce it on occasion. One doesn’t normally go to a strip club here and expect more than a lap dance. I certainly didn’t expect: ‘For one hundred dollars you can take me in the back and do anything you want to me.’. I don’t even know if that is a good price or not.
But. It seemed a reasonable price to get my buddy, who is a broke virgin, some pu$$ finally.

 

[corrector]

Yeah. I did lose BF. Probably at least 10%. Made a HUGE dfference.

Right, if you didn't make that change and kept the weight or gained weight, you would still be able to attract women? Just not as frequently and maybe not as hot, but you wouldn't be incel right?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Right, if you didn't make that change and kept the weight or gained weight, you would still be able to attract women? Just not as frequently and maybe not as hot, but you wouldn't be incel right?

Well. I wound up divorcing my wife because she no longer found me attractive & sexually desireable. However, after my weight loss. She wanted me back & was an FWB for a while.

Would I have been an incel? I start to go nuts when I’m not involved with some woman. I become a different person. One of my friends described me (the few times I was single), as a ‘maddened bull.’. So. Maybe through sheer exertion I could have gotten someone.

 

[corrector]

I don’t even know if that is a good price or not.

For you it's not worth it, because why would you pay for something you could get for free. At best it should not be more than $ 20 if you wanted to get techy about it. She's attracted to you so she wants you, it's not appropriate for her to charge anything above $ 20.

But. It seemed a reasonable price to get my buddy, who is a broke virgin, some pu$$ finally.

It was not offered to your buddy though, which can be interpreted as a rejection.

You must have to feel bad for all of your incel friends. You live in a different reality than they do. You have all the breaks and they have all the pain.

 

[corrector]

Well. I wound up divorcing my wife because she no longer found me attractive & sexually desireable. However, after my weight loss.

Weight was that big of a deal? I'm shocked. What was your bf before? 30 or 40%?

Would I have been an incel? I start to go nuts when I’m not involved with some woman. I become a different person. One of my friends described me (the few times I was single), as a ‘maddened bull.’. So. Maybe through sheer exertion I could have gotten someone.

This "maddened bull" directed towards weight loss is probably one of the more constructive choices towards that energy.

I'm very much not used to a woman being in the picture at all, so I just can't relate to being upset or "maddened bull". Maybe more of a Turtle that will retreat into a shell or an internal rage but not very expressive about it other than a silence that people can feel and pick up something is not right. Even the female co-worker at my office had to reach out to me when I felt she was neglecting me over the new guy that joined the team. My silence was deafening to her. If I'm happy or normal then my silence is not as pronounced. It looks like I even get upset if I feel I'm not getting any attention at all and we are not even talking about sexual stuff!

How about your incel friends? Are they jealous about the love you are getting from the opposite sex and feeling left out?

 

[Solomon]

Actually. Being good looking (Chad?) will compensate for just about anything. However, it is clear that one can achieve one's goals through other means than being good looking.

Disagree I used to have a buddy who looked just like the singer Usher, he had no problems getting numbers and smashing chicks but he had problems keeping them because he was needy and insecure about his finances. He finally got his finances sorted out and that helped, good looks help but being needy and insecure no matter how good-looking you are eventually is going to turn most women off

 

[Hamurabimbi]

For you it's not worth it, because why would you pay for something you could get for free. At best it should not be more than $ 20 if you wanted to get techy about it. She's attracted to you so she wants you, it's not appropriate for her to charge anything above $ 20.



It was not offered to your buddy though, which can be interpreted as a rejection.

You must have to feel bad for all of your incel friends. You live in a different reality than they do. You have all the breaks and they have all the pain.

Most of them don’t try or even attempt to improve.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Weight was that big of a deal? I'm shocked. What was your bf before? 30 or 40%?



This "maddened bull" directed towards weight loss is probably one of the more constructive choices towards that energy.

I'm very much not used to a woman being in the picture at all, so I just can't relate to being upset or "maddened bull". Maybe more of a Turtle that will retreat into a shell or an internal rage but not very expressive about it other than a silence that people can feel and pick up something is not right. Even the female co-worker at my office had to reach out to me when I felt she was neglecting me over the new guy that joined the team. My silence was deafening to her. If I'm happy or normal then my silence is not as pronounced. It looks like I even get upset if I feel I'm not getting any attention at all and we are not even talking about sexual stuff!

How about your incel friends? Are they jealous about the love you are getting from the opposite sex and feeling left out?

Seems she cared enough to reach out to you.

I think my incel friends realize they are somewhat resposnible for their own predicament.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What does the average woman offer?

bobs & vegana.

 

[corrector]

Seems she cared enough to reach out to you.

Yes, people like her is holding me back from playing ASMR/certain types of music videos, and even vlogs or content creators that are women (ie that I would view to have a feeling of a lady talking with me without having to worry about my looks, social skills or emotional investment, etc....) at bay. I promised myself to only watch those types of videos if there is like zero meaningful connection anywhere with the opposite sex for two consecutive days. As you can see I've stopped watching those videos for a while now as two days usually don't pass by like that if you have a friend at work that is providing those regular touch-points. The wierd part about it is that sometiems I miss the ASMRs and music videos I tend to rely on crutches, but that feeling evaporates quickly if it is "re-opened".

For example, just yesterday, they had a zoom meeting where they were having a roll of the dice on a game for people who made recent sales. While I made one sale I forgot about it. She chimed in to mention me. It was a nice gesture of feeling that she cared enough to do that and when I tried to thank her for it, she told me not to thank her and said please....I guess friends don't like it when you thank them for nice/kind gestures? Guess I'm new with this "female friend" thing.... Like I said, I'm holding back on ASMRs/other types of videos for a while. Like any benefits scheme, there has to be abject need of female contact/connection for those to be played. You don't take cough candy because its sweet, you take it because you have a cough.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

‘A Woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.’.
Steinhem or Dunn.
Popularized in the ‘70s.

 

[Murk]

This thread started out well and became quite depressing.

I did well on OLD but I listed my height (6'2) and I am a handsome man. I have not used apps for 2-3 years but I'll soon be making my comeback. My friend is 5'6 and does well, he's been in the gym for 12 years consistently though and is confident. I've seen the girls and they are hot, lots of single moms sprinkled in though (he has 2 kids himself and is actively looking for a mother). I'd say facially he's a 6.5 or 7, he's not ugly, just short.

Personality does have a part to play, when I was wild, free and careless, amongst the hustle and bustle of city living and working, I was cleaning up. My energy isn't the same any more, I care less about being fun, way less. You can do well as an average man who's confident and fun, I've seen it in my circle, I've punched above my weight based on confidence and vibes many times.

 

[sangheilios]

Hilarious reading back through this thread on here. There are some posters on here that are in need of serious professional help.