You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
If it's an order, what do you say to her? If she goes, "Get the door" for example.Warrior74 said:After having an ex who would hardly lift a finger much less wash a dish....its hard for to do little things, UNLESS they ask in a nice manner. If it's an order, I will ignore it.
I have a bad habit of giving them a blank stare until they restate in the form of a question....if they give me attitude, I'll ask em "who do you think your talking to?". They can dig the hole deeper from there if they want to. I can walk away.2.0 said:Thanks for all of the advice. I guess you're right that it wouldn't hurt if she does things for you too.
If it's an order, what do you say to her? If she goes, "Get the door" for example.