"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How should I tell her I've never had sex?
- Thread starter alboh
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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Tell her straight out. What's she going to do...get up outta bed all horny because you're inexperienced??
Don't try to hide it. Just tell her so she knows what to expect.
Don't try to hide it. Just tell her so she knows what to expect.
WORKEROUTER
Master Don Juan
Tell her that of course you're not a virgin.
LOL this thread is like two years old and everybody seems to have a different opinion. I really don't see the point in telling her you are a virgin. I also don't buy that a girl can tell you are a virgin. Can't a guy just be bad at sex? Just whack it beforehand so you can hold out longer and I don't think she would be able to tell.
Also to the girl that said she devirginized 4 guys, well maybe you could tell they were a virgin BECAUSE THEY TOLD YOU THEY WERE A VIRGIN!
Also to the girl that said she devirginized 4 guys, well maybe you could tell they were a virgin BECAUSE THEY TOLD YOU THEY WERE A VIRGIN!
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I have to laugh at the earlier posts. Be totally honest, any woman who's not a virgin herself will know if a guys having their first time. There's all that awkwardness, and you're naked for the first time, displaying your manhood to the female audience.
Any future people with issue. Tell her. She'll be impressed by your honesty/courage, she'll be happy u didn't lie to her, and she's likely to have more fun teaching you what she likes rather than you fumbling around forever.
Any future people with issue. Tell her. She'll be impressed by your honesty/courage, she'll be happy u didn't lie to her, and she's likely to have more fun teaching you what she likes rather than you fumbling around forever.
I-am-someone
Senior Don Juan
"Are you a virgin?"
"Yeah... I've never had sex with YOU before"
"Yeah... I've never had sex with YOU before"
duke007
Master Don Juan
Well alboh has long since gone, hopefully everything went well, but this thread is relevant to me now.
Looks like I'll be losing my virginity in the near future to an older woman (maybe 8-10 yrs older than me). I haven't come across as a virgin though - she probably thinks I'm at least moderately experienced.
Someone said an experienced woman would be happy to teach. But why the hell would an older woman want a young fumbling sex partner who doesn't know exactly how to please her?
I've seen a lot of porn and have read a stack of techniques for good sex so I feel I have no reason to be awkward. But everyone says it will be awkward no matter what.
As long as I'm confident and falsely assure myself that I'm a good lay it will be fine right? Just like when first becoming a DJ -
knowing the theory well did wonders for success in the field.
Tell her or no?
Looks like I'll be losing my virginity in the near future to an older woman (maybe 8-10 yrs older than me). I haven't come across as a virgin though - she probably thinks I'm at least moderately experienced.
Someone said an experienced woman would be happy to teach. But why the hell would an older woman want a young fumbling sex partner who doesn't know exactly how to please her?
I've seen a lot of porn and have read a stack of techniques for good sex so I feel I have no reason to be awkward. But everyone says it will be awkward no matter what.
As long as I'm confident and falsely assure myself that I'm a good lay it will be fine right? Just like when first becoming a DJ -
knowing the theory well did wonders for success in the field.
Tell her or no?
duke007
Master Don Juan
I have another one, I-am-someone
"Are you a virgin?"
"I've had sex before.....just not with another person"
it worked for the nerd in Road Trip
"Are you a virgin?"
"I've had sex before.....just not with another person"
it worked for the nerd in Road TripUnfortunatelly this is not a movie, so doing this wont really help the situationOriginally posted by duke007
I have another one, I-am-someone
"Are you a virgin?"
"I've had sex before.....just not with another person"
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
what i think...
My suggestions:
1) Dont tell her untill u have had sex with her a few times. ( After having sex with her u need to ask her what she thought etc, so by the time u tell her that u were a virgin the 1st time u KNOW if she thinks ur good in bed or not)
2) By telling her after there wont be that " oh i'm not gonna sleep with you because u are a virgin" talk, because u WONT be a virgin anymore after sleeping with her several times )
3) By the time you tell her that u were a virgin ( this is after u have had sex with her a few times, i'd say about 3 times minimum before telling her) you SHOULD be more experianced and not "suck" in bed. You can only get better in bed, so the more u sleep with her the easiyer you will find it is to "pleasure" her, because u are slowly becoming familiar with her body, and soonenough u should know what to do and WHERE
Well ya... thats what i think u should do... Goodluck
Laterz...
My suggestions:
1) Dont tell her untill u have had sex with her a few times. ( After having sex with her u need to ask her what she thought etc, so by the time u tell her that u were a virgin the 1st time u KNOW if she thinks ur good in bed or not)
2) By telling her after there wont be that " oh i'm not gonna sleep with you because u are a virgin" talk, because u WONT be a virgin anymore after sleeping with her several times
) 3) By the time you tell her that u were a virgin ( this is after u have had sex with her a few times, i'd say about 3 times minimum before telling her) you SHOULD be more experianced and not "suck" in bed. You can only get better in bed, so the more u sleep with her the easiyer you will find it is to "pleasure" her, because u are slowly becoming familiar with her body, and soonenough u should know what to do and WHERE
Well ya... thats what i think u should do... Goodluck
Laterz...
DoubleJuan
Don Juan
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-lie,lie,lie,lie,lie,lie women have no special lie detectors if you do it right she will NEVER know
-make up a story for yourself how you had sex with a girl in your past
-if she asks how many girlfriends/sexpartners you had in your past say "it doesnt matter past is past and i also dont wanna know about your boyfriends"
-when you are telling her this, think about the story you made up - you will come off secure because your thinking about the girl you had sex with
-watch porn as a science - watch closely the moves and postions you think are good and imagine yourself using them
-don't jerk off there is nothing bad if you *** too fast - just tell her "aaahhh girl you turned me on so much it's your fault" and get another round going. it happens when you have sex with a new partner.
-"Just like when first becoming a DJ -
knowing the theory well did wonders for success in the field."
you got it dude! people can't tell the difference if your just acting or if you are for real - if you do it right.
-be confident and take what you want
-never listen to advice from women
-you will not be the best lover but you will be good enough that nobody can tell that you were a virgin
-now go out, have some drinks with her and enjoy tapping that azz!!
-make up a story for yourself how you had sex with a girl in your past
-if she asks how many girlfriends/sexpartners you had in your past say "it doesnt matter past is past and i also dont wanna know about your boyfriends"
-when you are telling her this, think about the story you made up - you will come off secure because your thinking about the girl you had sex with
-watch porn as a science - watch closely the moves and postions you think are good and imagine yourself using them
-don't jerk off there is nothing bad if you *** too fast - just tell her "aaahhh girl you turned me on so much it's your fault
" and get another round going. it happens when you have sex with a new partner. -"Just like when first becoming a DJ -
knowing the theory well did wonders for success in the field."
you got it dude! people can't tell the difference if your just acting or if you are for real - if you do it right.
-be confident and take what you want
-never listen to advice from women
-you will not be the best lover but you will be good enough that nobody can tell that you were a virgin
-now go out, have some drinks with her and enjoy tapping that azz!!
ey?
Welcome to the forums DoubleJuan...
A few things i would like to comment on...
Laterz...
Welcome to the forums DoubleJuan...
A few things i would like to comment on...
And if he does "suck" in bed? She will think that he sucks FULLSTOP, and that could lead to her dropping him and finding some1 else. Rather do what i said in my previos post, dont tell her anything till after a few times that u have sex with her , and if she DOES think that ur a good sex partner, then maybe u can go on and "lie" about having sex with others previously, but this might also affect ur contiouns.
Watching porn in order to learn CAN be helpfull, but u need to watch the RIGHT kind of porn, some porn movies etc are over exagerated and might lead u to think false things.
No matter what your excuse is, the fact will remain that u did *** too quicly, and this girl probably has been through a few men in her life, so saying that to her might make u look foolish to an extent.
The 1st time will be very hard to "do it right", no matter if he is a virgin or not, every woman is different, and u need to get familiar with her body before "doing it right" with her. Obviously a very experiances person will be more familiar with what to do, but with a virgin it will be slgihtly more challenging. So the best thing to do is not be nervous, stay calm, and just think to yourself that u are this porn-star!(this will phsycologically make u more confident)
This comment is totall non-sence to me.... Taking advise from women ABOUT women is one of the most helpfull things u will ever come across. Women know women better than men know women.
Agreed
Laterz...
Whatever you do, don't cut the foreplay in this case. Go down on her for a long time - A lot of woman prefer the tongue, and i'll also be easier to give her an orgasm that way.
The girl won't find out if you're a virgin or not as long as no one tells her. If you don't want to lie - Just tell her before, and see what happens. Like the others say she'll probably get totally turned-off, but it's up to you. A suggestion is to tell her when you're done that it was your first time. She'll tell her friends that she took your virginity, but what difference does it make? No one can call you virgin any more. And, she'll also understand why you weren't that good. No shame at all. If you tell her that you've had sex before you'll come off as a sucker.
It's the same way with everything. Let's say that you drive a car for the first time without telling the passenger about it. You tell them that you've had your drive license for a long time, but when they see the way you drive you'll come off as a real fool. Now, what if you told them that it was your first time you drove? They'll re-analyze the situation totally, and think "oh, it was the first time he drove... not that strange that he were a bad driver". Imagine if you told them that you had the drive license for years. What do you think that they'll believe?
Probably something like this: "Oh, this guy have been driving for years and still sucks. What a looser!". It's the same think in the bed. If you tell her that you've had sex a lot of times before she'll probably think, "Oh, this guy have been f'ucking for years, and still sucks. What a looser!".
Hah... you get the idea, man!
It's the same way in the example above when it comes to revaling "your secret". You think anyone will ride with you if you tell them that you never have been driving a car before? Maybe, but well... Probably not, right?
You think anyone wants to sleep with you if you tell them that you're a newbie who doesn't know how to have sex? Well... maybe; But i can tell you that the odds are clearly against you.
You will, of course, not be that 'good in bed', but who cares? This is all about confidence. If this is your first time, so what? Just f'ck her.
It might be your first time - But everybody knows that the first time normally sucks.
After you're done you can only improve. You know that, and she knows that.
The girl won't find out if you're a virgin or not as long as no one tells her. If you don't want to lie - Just tell her before, and see what happens. Like the others say she'll probably get totally turned-off, but it's up to you. A suggestion is to tell her when you're done that it was your first time. She'll tell her friends that she took your virginity, but what difference does it make? No one can call you virgin any more. And, she'll also understand why you weren't that good. No shame at all. If you tell her that you've had sex before you'll come off as a sucker.
It's the same way with everything. Let's say that you drive a car for the first time without telling the passenger about it. You tell them that you've had your drive license for a long time, but when they see the way you drive you'll come off as a real fool. Now, what if you told them that it was your first time you drove? They'll re-analyze the situation totally, and think "oh, it was the first time he drove... not that strange that he were a bad driver". Imagine if you told them that you had the drive license for years. What do you think that they'll believe?
Probably something like this: "Oh, this guy have been driving for years and still sucks. What a looser!". It's the same think in the bed. If you tell her that you've had sex a lot of times before she'll probably think, "Oh, this guy have been f'ucking for years, and still sucks. What a looser!".
Hah... you get the idea, man!
It's the same way in the example above when it comes to revaling "your secret". You think anyone will ride with you if you tell them that you never have been driving a car before? Maybe, but well... Probably not, right?
You think anyone wants to sleep with you if you tell them that you're a newbie who doesn't know how to have sex? Well... maybe; But i can tell you that the odds are clearly against you.
You will, of course, not be that 'good in bed', but who cares? This is all about confidence. If this is your first time, so what? Just f'ck her.
It might be your first time - But everybody knows that the first time normally sucks.
After you're done you can only improve. You know that, and she knows that.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
this isnt a big deal. just tell her.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
DoubleJuan
Don Juan
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Hi aequitas,
1.)he will not suck fullstop
2.)than let her drop him, there are many other girls out there, who carez, he had sex and people know he is not a virgin.
if he tells the truth chances are he gets no sex and everybody knows he is a virgin.
why should he tell her the truth after a few times? there is no logical reason for that.
i never said he will *** too quickly. maybe he doesn't. sorry dude but if it's THAT horrible for the girl that he *** too quick for THE FIRST time they had sex, and if she doesn't feel feminine when he says she turns him on so much and she doesn't enjoy the next round which will last longer - than HE should drop that girl. There is no need to be perfect, if it happens often than yeah I understand her to drop him, but if she has that high expectationsf for the first time they have sex than I hope she is the PERFECT WOMAN.
Sex is not the same as driving. Sex is a natural instinct so when you get rid of your fears and just enjoy nature it will not be as hard as your first driving lesson. duke, I believe in you and promise you she will never find out. just NEVER tell her or anybody else. would be very bad reputation for you - much more bad than when you are the guy who is just an average lover but who will improve with time. just lieeeeeee.....
DoubleJuan
Don Juan
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by the way - here is one reason why I am saying NEVER listen to advice from women about women. This advice would only be valuable if he is a girl - but for guys there a different rules in society and the dating game.
I've been in a similar position, don't tell her you're a virgin unless she asks. Avoid the question if possible.
Don't worry about cumming too early, I know my first time it took so long I got bored before it actually happened. More than likely you'll be nervous and find it much harder to perform that you would normally expect.
If I could go back and change anything I'd say:
1) Make sure she's very wet before you try to get your soldier in there, otherwise its pretty difficult. (My first girl was quite small, not much room down there and she wasn't wet enough).
2) Make sure you just get on with it, don't apologise halfway through for not knowing what you're doing.
Don't worry about cumming too early, I know my first time it took so long I got bored before it actually happened. More than likely you'll be nervous and find it much harder to perform that you would normally expect.
If I could go back and change anything I'd say:
1) Make sure she's very wet before you try to get your soldier in there, otherwise its pretty difficult. (My first girl was quite small, not much room down there and she wasn't wet enough).
2) Make sure you just get on with it, don't apologise halfway through for not knowing what you're doing.
englishman
Master Don Juan
Originally posted by alboh
Well I sure as hell ain't gonna try to fake it. That's something I'll really regret forever. Having VIRGIN stamped on my forehead would be nothing compared to having to lie to lose it.
I'm gonna go on a few more dates and just mess around (I'm anxious to work on my going-down skills anyway
Maybe she'll tell my friends but if they're good friends, open minded, very cool, I KNOW they'll understand. Maybe her group of friends will gossip, but if I cared what a bunch of chicks thought of me I'd still be an AFC. My cousin is dating one of her friends and he lost his virginity to her a while back, and he didn't face any gossip.
I am NOT going to strap a f***ing condom on that will freeze my ****, I am not going to pretend I've fvcked 100000 girls but still can't remember where to stick it in, I sure as hell am NOT EVER going to hire a prostitute to "show me the ropes".
Maybe when I am more experienced I will write a guide on what older virgins should do when it's time...right now all the advice sounds like I'm back in grade 7!
Sounds naive mate......... I remember a conversation once with an old gf, how many women you slept with blah blah....she doubled the number when she told her friends! now imagine a guy doing that about his gf? you might half the number if it appeared she was sluty, but you certainly wouldnt double it right!
weather you tell her or dont tell her is not so important as just how you handle it all i think.....
Someone in an earlier post said this thread has been going for ages? so if thats the case, did he get laid or not? or is he still a virgin lol....
What is the big deal with cumming too fast anyways? If you're a young man you should be ready to go again within 10 minutes or so. During that time you can kiss her and play with her body so I really don't understand why a girl would be bothered by it. Plus it will be better the second time.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.