Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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How should I tell her I was on a date?

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Spyder213

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OK so I had a date last night with a girl and while I was with her I get a text from another girl that im interested in telling me shes gonna be sad if I didnt go to this party that night. Now of course I didnt go to the party so I know shes gonna call me or something today asking me why I didnt go.

So what should I tell her? And Im not asking this because Im afraid of her or anything like that. I just want to know how to tell her I was out with this other girl without her getting offended or losing interest. I know she doesnt really need to know anyway but Im not real big on lying anyway..
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Scion

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NO!!!!!!

I suck with women and I know this much. Let her imagine what you were doing last night.
 
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Heyjose25points

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This is DonJoseCantosie's other screen name.

Scion, you suck with women so you got no idea. Your making assumptions based on FEAR of LOSS.

Topic Creator, it doesn't matter if you tell her or not. If she's still interested....it'll intrigue her even more. Course it should be done in a a no big deal way. If you just want to answer what you did without fearing the outcome, tell her. But don't be surprised if she's still interested :).

As David X, who gives a fvck what she thinks. You should be more worried about what your thinking about than what she is. Anything can be in her head :)
 
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Scion

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Heyjose25points said:
Scion, you suck with women so you got no idea. Your making assumptions based on FEAR of LOSS.
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maybe your right that I have no idea because I never have success with women. But it still is my opinion that it's better to leave a bit of mystery when it comes to women. I'm not saying lie to her but if she asks what you did instead of saying "I had a date" it's better to say "last night? I just out having a couple drinks" (substitute drinks for whatever you did).

I know I'm gonna be flamed for giving my opinion because of lack of experience with women but I don't give a flying ****.
 
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Mantis Toboggan

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Why would you tell her that you were out with another girl? Do you think this girl would tell you that she was out with another dude?

You couldn't make it to her party because you were out, things got crazy, and you didn't have time to stop by. I don't understand why telling her about your date would even cross your mind. Doesn't make sense.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Heyjose25points

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Scion said:
maybe your right that I have no idea because I never have success with women. But it still is my opinion that it's better to leave a bit of mystery when it comes to women. I'm not saying lie to her but if she asks what you did instead of saying "I had a date" it's better to say "last night? I just out having a couple drinks" (substitute drinks for whatever you did).

I know I'm gonna be flamed for giving my opinion because of lack of experience with women but I don't give a flying ****.
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That's fine. Its only fair not to reveal everything, hell she hasn't either. She could be a female player for all we know lol. But we shouldn't over-rate or go to the extreme with it. The reason is because at times your going to have to be real with a girl and she's gotta feel she can trust you. Play the mystery card too much and it can work against you a bit too much.
 
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Heyjose25points

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Mantis Toboggan said:
Why would you tell her that you were out with another girl? Do you think this girl would tell you that she was out with another dude?
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Because she's asked and he has no problem telling her for this situation. Yes, Girls sometimes WILL tell a guy they were on another date to sometimes to try to invoke a little jealousy to test the guy or to appear like they're some even hotter catch.

You couldn't make it to her party because you were out, things got crazy, and you didn't have time to stop by. I don't understand why telling her about your date would even cross your mind. Doesn't make sense.
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It should cross his mind because its not that big of deal if he tells her or not. :up:

~Donjosecantosie
 
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Iceberg

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Heyjose25points said:
Because she's asked and he has no problem telling her for this situation. Yes, Girls sometimes WILL tell a guy they were on another date to sometimes to try to invoke a little jealousy to test the guy or to appear like they're some even hotter catch.


It should cross his mind because its not that big of deal if he tells her or not. :up:

~Donjosecantosie
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Hah. It's none of her f'n business where he was. The end.

You're right. Girls say things like this to invoke jealousy. This MAN should already be assuming he's the hotter catch and not need to validate his place with this girl by playing mind games.

It's not a big deal. But it sets an awful foundation for his frame with this girl if he feels a need to report his whereabouts to her. Girls that I date KNOW that I can get other girls. They assume that I'm lining up other dates whether I truly am or not. I don't ever feel a need to verbally express that because it comes through in my character and how I act.

It's not playing the "mystery card" to keep your dating life private. This other chick isn't even a hookup yet. She's just a girl he's interested in. He owes her nothing.
 
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Spyder213

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Thanks for all the help.
Im probably not gonna tell her exactly what I was doing just because I don't really think she needs to know and I kind of think she will just think Im trying to make her jealous based on the type of girl she is.

I think it changes with the type of girl, some girls react differently than others..
 
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Heyjose25points

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^^Course its not her business. If he doesn't care to tell her, he doesn't have to. I'm just saying if he doesn't mind it. I don't think we should be so concerned about how our frame is with women so much. She'll think a million things about us, good and bad :)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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stayfly

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just say "I'm busy tonight. let's have dinner/movie/other activity tomorrow/tuesday/Saturday/other day"

let her imagine what ur doing but don't specifically say ur on a date IMO
 
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Heyjose25points

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let her imagine what ur doing but don't specifically say ur on a date IMO
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So what, if she's attracted to him, it won't matter so much.

The being right to the point deal you mentioned is a good thing to say no doubt.
 
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stayfly

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Heyjose25points said:
So what, if she's attracted to him, it won't matter so much.
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It can work but it's not my personal style as it can come of as bragging / being insensitive in my opinion.

It depends on the person though.

some people: "I've got a an awesome Ferrari. We should go for a drive sometime"

she thinks: "he's showing off"

I'm like: "let's go for a drive"

she sees car and thinks: "holy ****, he's got a Ferrari and he didn't even tell me!! What other awesome stuff isn't he telling me about himself?? How come he ISN'T showing off"

it all varies massively depending on interest levels and personality styles though. to each his own.
 
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