"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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How should I tell her I was on a date?

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Spyder213

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OK so I had a date last night with a girl and while I was with her I get a text from another girl that im interested in telling me shes gonna be sad if I didnt go to this party that night. Now of course I didnt go to the party so I know shes gonna call me or something today asking me why I didnt go.

So what should I tell her? And Im not asking this because Im afraid of her or anything like that. I just want to know how to tell her I was out with this other girl without her getting offended or losing interest. I know she doesnt really need to know anyway but Im not real big on lying anyway..
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scion

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NO!!!!!!

I suck with women and I know this much. Let her imagine what you were doing last night.
 
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Heyjose25points

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This is DonJoseCantosie's other screen name.

Scion, you suck with women so you got no idea. Your making assumptions based on FEAR of LOSS.

Topic Creator, it doesn't matter if you tell her or not. If she's still interested....it'll intrigue her even more. Course it should be done in a a no big deal way. If you just want to answer what you did without fearing the outcome, tell her. But don't be surprised if she's still interested :).

As David X, who gives a fvck what she thinks. You should be more worried about what your thinking about than what she is. Anything can be in her head :)
 
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Scion

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Heyjose25points said:
Scion, you suck with women so you got no idea. Your making assumptions based on FEAR of LOSS.
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maybe your right that I have no idea because I never have success with women. But it still is my opinion that it's better to leave a bit of mystery when it comes to women. I'm not saying lie to her but if she asks what you did instead of saying "I had a date" it's better to say "last night? I just out having a couple drinks" (substitute drinks for whatever you did).

I know I'm gonna be flamed for giving my opinion because of lack of experience with women but I don't give a flying ****.
 
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Mantis Toboggan

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Why would you tell her that you were out with another girl? Do you think this girl would tell you that she was out with another dude?

You couldn't make it to her party because you were out, things got crazy, and you didn't have time to stop by. I don't understand why telling her about your date would even cross your mind. Doesn't make sense.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Heyjose25points

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Scion said:
maybe your right that I have no idea because I never have success with women. But it still is my opinion that it's better to leave a bit of mystery when it comes to women. I'm not saying lie to her but if she asks what you did instead of saying "I had a date" it's better to say "last night? I just out having a couple drinks" (substitute drinks for whatever you did).

I know I'm gonna be flamed for giving my opinion because of lack of experience with women but I don't give a flying ****.
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That's fine. Its only fair not to reveal everything, hell she hasn't either. She could be a female player for all we know lol. But we shouldn't over-rate or go to the extreme with it. The reason is because at times your going to have to be real with a girl and she's gotta feel she can trust you. Play the mystery card too much and it can work against you a bit too much.
 
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Heyjose25points

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Mantis Toboggan said:
Why would you tell her that you were out with another girl? Do you think this girl would tell you that she was out with another dude?
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Because she's asked and he has no problem telling her for this situation. Yes, Girls sometimes WILL tell a guy they were on another date to sometimes to try to invoke a little jealousy to test the guy or to appear like they're some even hotter catch.

You couldn't make it to her party because you were out, things got crazy, and you didn't have time to stop by. I don't understand why telling her about your date would even cross your mind. Doesn't make sense.
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It should cross his mind because its not that big of deal if he tells her or not. :up:

~Donjosecantosie
 
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Iceberg

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Heyjose25points said:
Because she's asked and he has no problem telling her for this situation. Yes, Girls sometimes WILL tell a guy they were on another date to sometimes to try to invoke a little jealousy to test the guy or to appear like they're some even hotter catch.


It should cross his mind because its not that big of deal if he tells her or not. :up:

~Donjosecantosie
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Hah. It's none of her f'n business where he was. The end.

You're right. Girls say things like this to invoke jealousy. This MAN should already be assuming he's the hotter catch and not need to validate his place with this girl by playing mind games.

It's not a big deal. But it sets an awful foundation for his frame with this girl if he feels a need to report his whereabouts to her. Girls that I date KNOW that I can get other girls. They assume that I'm lining up other dates whether I truly am or not. I don't ever feel a need to verbally express that because it comes through in my character and how I act.

It's not playing the "mystery card" to keep your dating life private. This other chick isn't even a hookup yet. She's just a girl he's interested in. He owes her nothing.
 
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Spyder213

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Thanks for all the help.
Im probably not gonna tell her exactly what I was doing just because I don't really think she needs to know and I kind of think she will just think Im trying to make her jealous based on the type of girl she is.

I think it changes with the type of girl, some girls react differently than others..
 
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Heyjose25points

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^^Course its not her business. If he doesn't care to tell her, he doesn't have to. I'm just saying if he doesn't mind it. I don't think we should be so concerned about how our frame is with women so much. She'll think a million things about us, good and bad :)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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stayfly

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just say "I'm busy tonight. let's have dinner/movie/other activity tomorrow/tuesday/Saturday/other day"

let her imagine what ur doing but don't specifically say ur on a date IMO
 
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Heyjose25points

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let her imagine what ur doing but don't specifically say ur on a date IMO
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So what, if she's attracted to him, it won't matter so much.

The being right to the point deal you mentioned is a good thing to say no doubt.
 
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stayfly

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Heyjose25points said:
So what, if she's attracted to him, it won't matter so much.
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It can work but it's not my personal style as it can come of as bragging / being insensitive in my opinion.

It depends on the person though.

some people: "I've got a an awesome Ferrari. We should go for a drive sometime"

she thinks: "he's showing off"

I'm like: "let's go for a drive"

she sees car and thinks: "holy ****, he's got a Ferrari and he didn't even tell me!! What other awesome stuff isn't he telling me about himself?? How come he ISN'T showing off"

it all varies massively depending on interest levels and personality styles though. to each his own.
 
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