"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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How should I stop her compartmentalising me?

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neil27264

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Hi Guys, ideas needed here I am a bit stuck for a solution.
Been dating a girl on and off for a few years. She is hot and knows it and has somehow taken control. Had a break from her for a month and then last week she came on to me at the gym. But..... it seems she is just wanting a guy to see during the day when she is off work. We both have kids, and it would be great to spend time together doing things with kids and being able to enjoy time together. She seems to have me where she wants me, by that I mean we see each other when it's convenient to her. She is seperated, husband seeing someone else, divorce pending. Am I trying to rush things? It seems perfectly reasonable to me for a single woman to be able to see me whenever she likes but she will not involve any of her family or friends. She does parties on her own, holidays on her own etc etc. Any ideas on how to get out of this rut. I am looking for an LTR with her, I think she is looking for the same, but how do I get her there? Am I trying too hard? Dunno?

Neil
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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J

jophil28

Master Don Juan
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neil27264 said:
...but she will not involve any of her family or friends. She does parties on her own, holidays on her own etc etc. Any ideas on how to get out of this rut. I am looking for an LTR with her, I think she is looking for the same, but how do I get her there? Am I trying too hard? Dunno?

Neil
Click to expand...
Do you want the bad news or the bad news ?
THis women does NOT want an LTR with you . If she did, you and she would be in one already.

Take your pick from these roles-
You are her entertainment.
You are her distraction.
You are her date when it suits her.
You are rebound guy....

But in her mind, you are NOT her boyfriend.
 
E

Ease

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Looking for an LTR with a girl is the 1 thing that will stop you from getting an LTR with that girl.

You need to be interested in having sex with her. Thats what you are programmed to do.

Its a womans job to want things like security, relationship, kids etc.

Dont be a woman. Be uninterested and she will come to you. Just focus on sexing her and having a good time, and she will be the one trying to get you tied down.
 
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Iceberg

Master Don Juan
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Ease said:
Looking for an LTR with a girl is the 1 thing that will stop you from getting an LTR with that girl.

You need to be interested in having sex with her. Thats what you are programmed to do.

Its a womans job to want things like security, relationship, kids etc.

Dont be a woman. Be uninterested and she will come to you. Just focus on sexing her and having a good time, and she will be the one trying to get you tied down.
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Agreed. This guy sounds like my ex girlfriends. "You never spend holidays with me. You don't want to meet my family. You're not committed enough."

If this dude wants a commitment, it's his right to seek it. But he's gotta understand, women WANT relationships. The fact that this girl is going out of her way to NOT be in one says that she's not that into him.

It ain't compartmentalization. She doesn't want you in that way, neil. If this chick met the right guy, she'd be doing all those "relationshippy" things you're talking about within the first two months.
 
2

2crudedudes

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Ease said:
Looking for an LTR with a girl is the 1 thing that will stop you from getting an LTR with that girl.

You need to be interested in having sex with her. Thats what you are programmed to do.

Its a womans job to want things like security, relationship, kids etc.

Dont be a woman. Be uninterested and she will come to you. Just focus on sexing her and having a good time, and she will be the one trying to get you tied down.
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^This, coupled with the fact that she's not even divorced yet. She probably doesn't want to jump into another serious relationship, especially because her previous one isn't even finalized yet.

Have fun with her, but don't set your hopes too high. Not only will you look needy, you'll be disappointed if all you are to her is a rebound.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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S

sodbuster

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She doesn't want to do holidays with you, only meets when it's convienient for you both,doesn't want to involve the kids and you are complaining? I've been married and divorced. Sign me up for about 2 of those.
 
H

horaholic

Master Don Juan
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Been dating a girl on and off for a few years.
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So her divorce has been pending for a few YEARS???

Thats well beyond a rebound, and well beyond forming into a relationship. The only thing you can do is be willing to walk away. If you're not getting what you need, its way past time to move on to someone who will.

All in all, just be a MAN about what you want, and dont settle for less. You cant change her. I'm assuming you've talked about this with her to no avail. Accept it, or move on, plain and simple.
 
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