"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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How should I stop her compartmentalising me?

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neil27264

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Hi Guys, ideas needed here I am a bit stuck for a solution.
Been dating a girl on and off for a few years. She is hot and knows it and has somehow taken control. Had a break from her for a month and then last week she came on to me at the gym. But..... it seems she is just wanting a guy to see during the day when she is off work. We both have kids, and it would be great to spend time together doing things with kids and being able to enjoy time together. She seems to have me where she wants me, by that I mean we see each other when it's convenient to her. She is seperated, husband seeing someone else, divorce pending. Am I trying to rush things? It seems perfectly reasonable to me for a single woman to be able to see me whenever she likes but she will not involve any of her family or friends. She does parties on her own, holidays on her own etc etc. Any ideas on how to get out of this rut. I am looking for an LTR with her, I think she is looking for the same, but how do I get her there? Am I trying too hard? Dunno?

Neil
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jophil28

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neil27264 said:
...but she will not involve any of her family or friends. She does parties on her own, holidays on her own etc etc. Any ideas on how to get out of this rut. I am looking for an LTR with her, I think she is looking for the same, but how do I get her there? Am I trying too hard? Dunno?

Neil
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Do you want the bad news or the bad news ?
THis women does NOT want an LTR with you . If she did, you and she would be in one already.

Take your pick from these roles-
You are her entertainment.
You are her distraction.
You are her date when it suits her.
You are rebound guy....

But in her mind, you are NOT her boyfriend.
 
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Ease

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Looking for an LTR with a girl is the 1 thing that will stop you from getting an LTR with that girl.

You need to be interested in having sex with her. Thats what you are programmed to do.

Its a womans job to want things like security, relationship, kids etc.

Dont be a woman. Be uninterested and she will come to you. Just focus on sexing her and having a good time, and she will be the one trying to get you tied down.
 
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Iceberg

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Ease said:
Looking for an LTR with a girl is the 1 thing that will stop you from getting an LTR with that girl.

You need to be interested in having sex with her. Thats what you are programmed to do.

Its a womans job to want things like security, relationship, kids etc.

Dont be a woman. Be uninterested and she will come to you. Just focus on sexing her and having a good time, and she will be the one trying to get you tied down.
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Agreed. This guy sounds like my ex girlfriends. "You never spend holidays with me. You don't want to meet my family. You're not committed enough."

If this dude wants a commitment, it's his right to seek it. But he's gotta understand, women WANT relationships. The fact that this girl is going out of her way to NOT be in one says that she's not that into him.

It ain't compartmentalization. She doesn't want you in that way, neil. If this chick met the right guy, she'd be doing all those "relationshippy" things you're talking about within the first two months.
 
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2crudedudes

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Ease said:
Looking for an LTR with a girl is the 1 thing that will stop you from getting an LTR with that girl.

You need to be interested in having sex with her. Thats what you are programmed to do.

Its a womans job to want things like security, relationship, kids etc.

Dont be a woman. Be uninterested and she will come to you. Just focus on sexing her and having a good time, and she will be the one trying to get you tied down.
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^This, coupled with the fact that she's not even divorced yet. She probably doesn't want to jump into another serious relationship, especially because her previous one isn't even finalized yet.

Have fun with her, but don't set your hopes too high. Not only will you look needy, you'll be disappointed if all you are to her is a rebound.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sodbuster

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She doesn't want to do holidays with you, only meets when it's convienient for you both,doesn't want to involve the kids and you are complaining? I've been married and divorced. Sign me up for about 2 of those.
 
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horaholic

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Been dating a girl on and off for a few years.
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So her divorce has been pending for a few YEARS???

Thats well beyond a rebound, and well beyond forming into a relationship. The only thing you can do is be willing to walk away. If you're not getting what you need, its way past time to move on to someone who will.

All in all, just be a MAN about what you want, and dont settle for less. You cant change her. I'm assuming you've talked about this with her to no avail. Accept it, or move on, plain and simple.
 
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