As a man, I think you should live your life without getting overly influenced by what women think, say, or do. At the same time, you still need some awareness of the patterns in relationships and human behavior. (like a pareto 80/20)
Part of why I think this stands out to me is my background. My mother often had a tense, unstable dynamic with my father, arguing, threatening to leave, but never actually doing it. She seemed stressed and unhappy, yet stayed in the relationship.. and when it was the time to have that "special family picture" she was always ready to have that in her album.
Coming to our modern days, a friend of mine has been with his partner for 10 years. Publicly they look happy, traveling, smiling, posting photos. But privately she often complains about him, sometimes quite intensely. Our friend shared his chat history with us: they argue about responsibilities like housework and timing, and about how he is not present and she is doing everything alone, and that she could do that by just being single...
But.. the next day.. she act completely affectionate and go out together as if nothing happened.
This kind of cycle, conflict, criticism, then immediate return to closeness, seems common in some other relationships.
But we don't think it's something toxic... toxic is something else like abuse, etc.. You know..
But actually we see this behaviour in many relationship.. just that..
So if this is normal in LTR, how should a mature man interpret it when a partner frequently complains or criticizes, but then quickly returns to affection? Is this just part of relationships?
Wanted to hear from more experienced people here, and those who actually could experiment both worlds (after breakup or divorce they found a better relationship without those characteristics)
Part of why I think this stands out to me is my background. My mother often had a tense, unstable dynamic with my father, arguing, threatening to leave, but never actually doing it. She seemed stressed and unhappy, yet stayed in the relationship.. and when it was the time to have that "special family picture" she was always ready to have that in her album.
Coming to our modern days, a friend of mine has been with his partner for 10 years. Publicly they look happy, traveling, smiling, posting photos. But privately she often complains about him, sometimes quite intensely. Our friend shared his chat history with us: they argue about responsibilities like housework and timing, and about how he is not present and she is doing everything alone, and that she could do that by just being single...
But.. the next day.. she act completely affectionate and go out together as if nothing happened.
This kind of cycle, conflict, criticism, then immediate return to closeness, seems common in some other relationships.
But we don't think it's something toxic... toxic is something else like abuse, etc.. You know..
But actually we see this behaviour in many relationship.. just that..
So if this is normal in LTR, how should a mature man interpret it when a partner frequently complains or criticizes, but then quickly returns to affection? Is this just part of relationships?
Wanted to hear from more experienced people here, and those who actually could experiment both worlds (after breakup or divorce they found a better relationship without those characteristics)