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How often should you ask a girl out?
- Thread starter JCKey618
- Start date
Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
libre
Don Juan
Hello JcKey
Sure. Why not?
For the moment, don't believe the suggestions that will be made to let her chase you or whatever. You only need to back off if she backs off. If she goes along willingly, well go for it!
This young lady will like your self confidence if you do your moves. That's what women expect of men. Continue to have great fun.
You might eventually want to retake your breathing space and do your activites with your boyfriends. However now is not the time. Now is the time to chase that young woman and have fun with her as much as she wants it.
I'm happy to read that you had fun on your date. Keep us posted.
Sure. Why not?
For the moment, don't believe the suggestions that will be made to let her chase you or whatever. You only need to back off if she backs off. If she goes along willingly, well go for it!
This young lady will like your self confidence if you do your moves. That's what women expect of men. Continue to have great fun.
You might eventually want to retake your breathing space and do your activites with your boyfriends. However now is not the time. Now is the time to chase that young woman and have fun with her as much as she wants it.
I'm happy to read that you had fun on your date. Keep us posted.
Cooll. I just didn't know if asking her out two weeks in a row seemed like I had nothing else to do.... Also, I don't want her to be 'smothered.' Then again, since she does not go to my school, I don't get to see her everyday like with my last girlfriend..
Cus I remember I used to hang out with my last girlfriend like every weekend and then she got all distant with me (funny thing is, she was the one initially asking me to hang out all the time)./ But then again I did see her EVERYDAY at school. Also, the girl I'm dating now (Morgan) said she usually doesn't do much on the weekends and just chills so it's not like I'm 'taking her away from her friends' like my last girlfriend complained about.
Also, if I want her to be my girlfriend, when do I ask and how?
Cus I remember I used to hang out with my last girlfriend like every weekend and then she got all distant with me (funny thing is, she was the one initially asking me to hang out all the time)./ But then again I did see her EVERYDAY at school. Also, the girl I'm dating now (Morgan) said she usually doesn't do much on the weekends and just chills so it's not like I'm 'taking her away from her friends' like my last girlfriend complained about.
Also, if I want her to be my girlfriend, when do I ask and how?
englishcrap
Senior Don Juan
Give it a week and then ask her out or u sound like some desperate **** and you will across as some needy ****
libre
Don Juan
My advice (again)
DON'T ask her now or even ever to be your official Girlfriend. Don't do it!
Just do and act the part of the boyfriend, but DON'T ask her to be your girlfriend. If you do, you will sound insecure and wishee washee and you will give her power over you and your relationship.
The virtues of «communication» are overdone. Don't fall for it. That's what women think that they want, but they mostly want a strong and secure man on which they can lean on. If you turn wishee washee on her, you will give her the message that she can't lean on you.
Let her find girlfriends with which she can «communicate» all she wants.
DON'T ask her now or even ever to be your official Girlfriend. Don't do it!
Just do and act the part of the boyfriend, but DON'T ask her to be your girlfriend. If you do, you will sound insecure and wishee washee and you will give her power over you and your relationship.
The virtues of «communication» are overdone. Don't fall for it. That's what women think that they want, but they mostly want a strong and secure man on which they can lean on. If you turn wishee washee on her, you will give her the message that she can't lean on you.
Let her find girlfriends with which she can «communicate» all she wants.
So, uh, how would she become my girlfriend then? I actually was dating a girl once and our mutual friends were telling me she wanted me to ask her to be my girlfriend. When I did she actually said that she ws gonna just tell me we were gonna be friends if I hadn't have asked her out because "us southern girls don't date - we have boyfriends"
libre
Don Juan
I'm not sure if I am getting your question right as my english is partial (my mother tongue is not english).
Are you telling us that you want to ask her to be your girlfriend so that she then can have the choice to reject you if se feels like it?
If that is your question, my answer is the following. Don't ever give the opportunity to others to use your doubts againts you, don't ever suggest your shortcomings (particularly in the work environment) or even in a loving relationship. If people don't have doubts about you, they will then acquire them from your suggestion.
The same true is for the present situation. Why would you want to set yourself up to be rejected? If that young lady eventually wants to reject you, don't worry about that. She'll find a way.
So, why would you want to ask her to be your girlfriend? That wont seal a permanent bond with her. Official mariage doesn't do it, so why would her answer do it?
Just progressively act the part of the «official» boyfriend, and let her worry about putting words and «officiality» about it.
Are you telling us that you want to ask her to be your girlfriend so that she then can have the choice to reject you if se feels like it?
If that is your question, my answer is the following. Don't ever give the opportunity to others to use your doubts againts you, don't ever suggest your shortcomings (particularly in the work environment) or even in a loving relationship. If people don't have doubts about you, they will then acquire them from your suggestion.
The same true is for the present situation. Why would you want to set yourself up to be rejected? If that young lady eventually wants to reject you, don't worry about that. She'll find a way.
So, why would you want to ask her to be your girlfriend? That wont seal a permanent bond with her. Official mariage doesn't do it, so why would her answer do it?
Just progressively act the part of the «official» boyfriend, and let her worry about putting words and «officiality» about it.
Oh, no, I wasn't talking about rejection. What I was saying is that one time I was dating this girl and she said that if I hadn't have asked her to be my girlfriend, then she would have stopped seeing me. She said yes to being my girlfriend (this was like 2 summers ago) and told me that after the fact.
Basically, what she was saying was that she stops dating guys who don't ask her to be their girlfriend
Basically, what she was saying was that she stops dating guys who don't ask her to be their girlfriend
libre
Don Juan
Well, I would still stay clear of this kind of official «commitment». Your experience was with that girl then. It's not a given that this new young lady holds the same beliefs.
Cross that bridge only when you get to it, only if you have to, and only if she opens up on the subject.
Women ask all the time that men «commit». Well, women are also massively the ones that initiate a separation (80% of the time). So they are asking men what they don't respect themselves. They are thus putting men in the position of having to officially «commit» to them, while they themselves dispose of men at their will.
So I say, be wary of women who asks your commitment.
Cross that bridge only when you get to it, only if you have to, and only if she opens up on the subject.
Women ask all the time that men «commit». Well, women are also massively the ones that initiate a separation (80% of the time). So they are asking men what they don't respect themselves. They are thus putting men in the position of having to officially «commit» to them, while they themselves dispose of men at their will.
So I say, be wary of women who asks your commitment.
So, I should be wary of females who ask for a committment, but I should never ask for myself? Does this mean I will always just be committed to those who I need to be aware of?
And you know, I thought females were brought up with the mindset that men are supposed to make all the first moves. Do the approaching, ask for the dates, go for the first kiss, make stuff 'official'....
And you know, I thought females were brought up with the mindset that men are supposed to make all the first moves. Do the approaching, ask for the dates, go for the first kiss, make stuff 'official'....
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
You can ask her out again. It doesn't have to be anything formal you two can just hang together and talk. You don't have to spell commitment with her, just that you'd like to spend some additional time with her to get to know her better before you take her off to her prom, which I might ad is a very big thing for alot of girls.
Guys usally ask girls out more often then the otherway around because It's usually up to guys to take charge of situations. A lot of (but not necessarily all) girls like it when a guy is a leader and has that take charge kind of attitude. It shows strength and confidence which equals safe and secure in a girls mind.
Guys usally ask girls out more often then the otherway around because It's usually up to guys to take charge of situations. A lot of (but not necessarily all) girls like it when a guy is a leader and has that take charge kind of attitude. It shows strength and confidence which equals safe and secure in a girls mind.
Its about the struggle for power. If you ask the girl to be your gf, then you will be giving her the power of either accepting or rejecting you. By making the girl ask you for committment would help you avoid getting rejected. I guess the objective of this site is to increase the chances of success and reduce the chances of rejections from a girl. Another reason is that us humans are so worry about rejection in any form because it creates anxiety. We create defenses like denial to help battle against these anxieties. Avoiding rejection is one way to defend against the uwanted anxiety.
I have friends who are successful with females and they tend to be the one to ask the girls to be their gf. Their response is that if you are a man then you should take the lead. My opinion about this is that if you are confident enough and knows for sure that the girl is into you then go ahead and ask. But if u are cautious about being rejected, just play it cool and continue following the advice of this site.
I have friends who are successful with females and they tend to be the one to ask the girls to be their gf. Their response is that if you are a man then you should take the lead. My opinion about this is that if you are confident enough and knows for sure that the girl is into you then go ahead and ask. But if u are cautious about being rejected, just play it cool and continue following the advice of this site.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Well, I mean, if that's the case then wouldn't asking them for their number, or asking them out on a date put yourself at risk for 'rejection?'
What's so diffrent about the committment part.
I'll wait until prom night. During the last slowdance should be a good time.
What's so diffrent about the committment part.
I'll wait until prom night. During the last slowdance should be a good time.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Men pair widely, women pair wisely.
Well that's not completely true but it goes more towards the lines of women want a mate and men want TOO mate. It's more instinctual (especially for young girls) to want just one guy around her to take care of them and nurture and what not. I mean look at how many women have their fantasy weddings all laid out in their heads (some fo them even make profolios!) at young ages. Because when they mate they want it to be for life. Guys on the other hand more often then not are more about meeting more and more girls. Instictivly we like to sew our oats around town when the opportunity is present.
Skullcrusher
Don Juan
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Why you waiting 2 weeks later to see this girl. Go hang out with her whenever you and her have the time.
PRmoon has a point. Through the evolutionary theory females pick their mates based on their potential to provide for their offspring and to protect. Males are attracted to females that has the most potential of reproducing. Males objective is to reproduce as much as possible even if it means reproducing with other females. That is why females have more to lose and are more picky about who they choose as a mate. Going back to who should ask who to committ, yeah askin for a girls number is a risk for rejection, but askin her to be your gf is a bigger risk. By that time you would have developed an emotional connection with her meanig u really like her thats why u want her to be your gf. Gettin rejected would be devasting. getting rejected for a number,most guys can brush that off. We all know or can anticipate how much anxiety it will cause if someone refuses to committ with us. By making her feel for u and crazy about you with the DJ bible will keep you from feeling the anxiety which can lead to depression. You can also ask her if you are confident that she is worth it and that she feels the same way. Guys that were successful in askin a girl to be their gf succeeded because they made the girl feel for them. Even if they didnt ask, eventually the girl would bring up the topic.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Yes, men don't ask things like this or say "I love you" before the girl does - it is in the nature of the woman to be more emotionally involved than the man.
When the man is more emotionally involved than the woman things are much more likely to end badly for the man and he loses his power and control over the woman - this happens about 100% of the time!!!
Ask her out as many times as you wish - if she says no then you back off and move on until she suggests an alternative - your job is to let her know that you interested in her romantically - after that the ball is in her court!
If she responds favorably to your advances - cool!
If she responds un-favorably to your advances - that is cool too!!
You are a DJ either way because you followed your masculine nature as a man and approached that which, by nature, should and must be approached!!!