How much time & energy do you initially invest in a woman, before moving on

[crowolf]

Title says it all.

Nowadays I let go so easily. And I wonder if I should put more effort.

I just don't want to waste my time if they show lower interest. Nor I want to be some side entertainer chat buddy.

I would usually text with a girl for a few days (or it could span out to a week or two, but with rarer messaging) then put out an offer for meeting up, and that's it. Under some circumstances I might invite her out two times, but after that I am done.

Do you think putting more effort is worth it? I know that on some subconscious level women like perseverance and consistency. And sometimes if she doesn't have tons of attention, you might get her out, even if she didn't have so much interest in you at first.

But I'm not really a fan of texting, and I don't want to risk wasting my time.

What do you think?

 

[Bokanovsky]

I’m assuming you’re talking about girls you meet on dating apps? The amount of effort described sounds more than sufficient.

 

[crowolf]

I’m assuming you’re talking about girls you meet on dating apps? The amount of effort described sounds more than sufficient.

No, actually everywhere else. I don't use dating apps.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It depends. Most of the time you know of a woman is truly into you or not. If she isn't, you are wasting your time putting energy into her that you could be putting into finding someone that is.

The hard part is often times accepting the "sunk cost", which is where so many men fail. They think "I've talked to her for a few weeks, went on 2-3 dates, spent money, spent time, etc and I don't just want to walk away with nothing to show for it."

So they keep trying to get a "Return on their Investment" so to speak. But just like every good trader knows, there are times when it's much more beneficial to cut your losses and look for better opportunities than to keep trying to turn a losing trade into a winning one.

Kenny Rogers summed it up best:

"You got to know when to hold 'em.
Know when to fold 'em.
Know when to walk away.
Know when to run.

You never count your money,
When you're sittin' at the table.
They'll be time enough for countin',
When the dealing's done..."

 

[The Duke]

Title says it all.

Nowadays I let go so easily. And I wonder if I should put more effort.

I just don't want to waste my time if they show lower interest. Nor I want to be some side entertainer chat buddy.

I would usually text with a girl for a few days (or it could span out to a week or two, but with rarer messaging) then put out an offer for meeting up, and that's it. Under some circumstances I might invite her out two times, but after that I am done.

Do you think putting more effort is worth it? I know that on some subconscious level women like perseverance and consistency. And sometimes if she doesn't have tons of attention, you might get her out, even if she didn't have so much interest in you at first.

But I'm not really a fan of texting, and I don't want to risk wasting my time.

What do you think?

That's always been my standard approach but I would always have a short phone call at some point. As long as your text game is decent, thats about all you can do. Lots of time wasting, low effort women out there looking to be validated and can't make a decision on which of the 10 guys she is talking to.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Title says it all.

Nowadays I let go so easily. And I wonder if I should put more effort.

I just don't want to waste my time if they show lower interest. Nor I want to be some side entertainer chat buddy.

I would usually text with a girl for a few days (or it could span out to a week or two, but with rarer messaging) then put out an offer for meeting up, and that's it. Under some circumstances I might invite her out two times, but after that I am done.

Do you think putting more effort is worth it? I know that on some subconscious level women like perseverance and consistency. And sometimes if she doesn't have tons of attention, you might get her out, even if she didn't have so much interest in you at first.

But I'm not really a fan of texting, and I don't want to risk wasting my time.

What do you think?

On some rare occassions I've talked to some women for extended periods of time if they showed high interest and we had good conversation. But in almost every other case I have the same timeline as you. Usually about a week at most and will I almost never ask them out more than twice.

I do not really care much for the "courting" or "chasing" process. In general I'm just not the type to get excited about most things in life and build them up in my head. I just want to get the ball rolling and see what happens or else I'll lose interest fast.

If the girl is particularly young and attractive or otherwise interesting I might be willing to persist more.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Some women don’t want to put in the effort or don’t have the ability to seduce you properly. So if it starts getting boring for you, that’s usually when I stop pursuing it. Because, let’s be honest, if it’s getting boring for you, it’s probably even worse for them.

 

[plumber]

i think it naturally flows to about the amount of time you suggest if you continue to source or accept additional contacts. the problem takes care of itself as you will naturally ignore them if your busy with another. if you got nothing else its more difficult to abandon.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Title says it all.

Nowadays I let go so easily. And I wonder if I should put more effort.

Your effort should be based on her cooperation (interest)..especially in the early stages.

If she ain't cooperating, then the decision to let go should be an easy decision.

Women with high interest; they cooperate.

The more you deal with women, the more you'll know the difference.

I just don't want to waste my time if they show lower interest. Nor I want to be some side entertainer chat buddy.

Good, good.

I would usually text with a girl for a few days (or it could span out to a week or two, but with rarer messaging) then put out an offer for meeting up, and that's it. Under some circumstances I might invite her out two times, but after that I am done.

Nah. Rookie moves.

Days? A week or two?

No.

You should know where you stand with a woman (and vice versa) within 24/48 hours of meeting her.

The only way to know, is to do one thing.

But I don't think you're ready for that yet.

It may be too high level for your beta brain to come to terms with.

Do you think putting more effort is worth it? I know that on some subconscious level women like perseverance and consistency.

See, that's another rookie way of thinking.

You're making it about the women.

It ain't about them.

It's about you.

As the man, you're the leader, and she (they) are supposed to follow your lead.

If you give a damn about what they think/want, you're following their lead; when they should be following yours.

You said women like perseverance and consistency?

So what?

As men, we like consistent cooperation.

Now; as hunters, we are to go out and find women who are going to consistently cooperate with our program.

This doesn't mean that we are to be controlling narcissists. Not at all.

But what it does mean, is that; to know if she is for you, she needs to be cooperative..early, and consistently.

And if anyone thinks this is an uphill battle, you haven't dealt with enough cooperative women.

 

[Tilex]

Believe it or not the dating scene in your area is parallel to the job market/interview in your area.

You'll see red flags right in the very beginning and your gut will feel like something is off. I normally get a jolt in my body when something that should be congruent is collapsing out of place.

Push her boundaries early and you'll get your answers immediately. It's actually fool proof once you get enough experience.
If she thinks you're moving too fast or just wants to take it slow, then take that as a total insult and leave.

Same thing with Job interviews.
When I was much younger, I was taught to be cooperative in job interviews and not rustle any feathers.
I realized when I got older that it's all bullsh!t.
The moment you spot a red flag is when you turn the tables on them.
I remember having an interview at a boat dealership a long time ago, and the service manager sat me down at a private area table.
Right when he sat down in front of me, one of his female co-workers came up to him and had a lengthy personal chat right in front of me.
I remembered sitting there thinking in my mind how unprofessional and insulting that was.
My gut told me to yank that application from his hands and tear it to pieces.

 

[Solomon]

Your effort should be based on her cooperation (interest)..especially in the early stages.

If she ain't cooperating, then the decision to let go should be an easy decision.

Women with high interest; they cooperate.

The more you deal with women, the more you'll know the difference.



Good, good.



Nah. Rookie moves.

Days? A week or two?

No.

You should know where you stand with a woman (and vice versa) within 24/48 hours of meeting her.

The only way to know, is to do one thing.

But I don't think you're ready for that yet.

It may be too high level for your beta brain to come to terms with.



See, that's another rookie way of thinking.

You're making it about the women.

It ain't about them.

It's about you.

As the man, you're the leader, and she (they) are supposed to follow your lead.

If you give a damn about what they think/want, you're following their lead; when they should be following yours.

You said women like perseverance and consistency?

So what?

As men, we like consistent cooperation.

Now; as hunters, we are to go out and find women who are going to consistently cooperate with our program.

This doesn't mean that we are to be controlling narcissists. Not at all.

But what it does mean, is that; to know if she is for you, she needs to be cooperative..early, and consistently.

And if anyone thinks this is an uphill battle, you haven't dealt with enough cooperative women.

Spot on

I have said it before I don't deal with wonmen with low interest once you deal with women who have high interest consisitnely it feels like you're cheating yourself. A lot of men's problem on this site has always been chasing after low-mid interest women than wondering why men deal with the outcomes. There are women who will come to your house for the first meet, women who will drive 3-5 hours etc.

The last girl I was seeing it was hardly any effort on my part, it felt like I was cheating in a sense but it CONFIRMED something I've always known women do the chasing.

This may go over a lot of guys heads but when a girl really likes you it's like playing NBA2K on rookie mode

 

[crowolf]

A lot of you mention how it's better to choose the women who choose you.

But nobody mentions that most of the time they are not the ones you are attracted to.

I've always had women who are ready for me, but I have higher standards, and I don't like most of them.

So the low interest women chasing is mostly because they are actually appealing, not because I(we/whoever) like a challenge.

(Or maybe it has something to do with attachment theory, too, but that's too deep for now.)

So this is the issue for me - having a match between what I really want, and it liking me back.

Unlike many guys who would bang anything that's moving, I haven't been with a woman that I am not attracted to. And I will probably keep it that way, even if that means having a "the best or nothing" mindset.

 

[Solomon]

A lot of you mention how it's better to choose the women who choose you.

But nobody mentions that most of the time they are not the ones you are attracted to.

I've always had women who are ready for me, but I have higher standards, and I don't like most of them.

So the low interest women chasing is mostly because they are actually appealing, not because I(we/whoever) like a challenge.

(Or maybe it has something to do with attachment theory, too, but that's too deep for now.)

So this is the issue for me - having a match between what I really want, and it liking me back.

Unlike many guys who would bang anything that's moving, I haven't been with a woman that I am not attracted to. And I will probably keep it that way, even if that means having a "the best or nothing" mindset.

Fair point but you would rather chase your "Dreamgirl" who has no interest? waste time and energy to convince her to like you? Seduction only works for two types of women

1. High interest 2. Mid-interest

If the girls you like don't like you then it could be for a plethora of reasons but one place to start is what type of men do those women go for? you gotta be brutally honest for example you want a gym bunny well you gotta be in shape, you want a hot nerdy chick you gotta be intellectual

 

[BadBoy89]

Fair point but you would rather chase your "Dreamgirl" who has no interest? waste time and energy to convince her to like you?

I think most men, who aren't Alpha on this site, would. They would rather chase a hot, youthful, little used, high reproductive value women and try to convince her to like him, than get with a woman who does not have high reproductive value or is attractive but likes him.

All men know when to walk away. All men know when not to chase. All men know how to act with women when the women aren't attractive or don't have high reproductive value.

- How come men don't have questions on how to attract single mothers?
- How come men don't have questions on how to attract overweight women?
- How come men don't have questions on how to attract older women?
- How come men don't have questions on how to attract ugly women?

Because inherently, they know how to act with these women. Men only get frustrated when the girl is attractive, hot and young. Anything else? They are automatically Alpha.

 

[BeExcellent]

A lot of you mention how it's better to choose the women who choose you.

But nobody mentions that most of the time they are not the ones you are attracted to.

I've always had women who are ready for me, but I have higher standards, and I don't like most of them.

So the low interest women chasing is mostly because they are actually appealing, not because I(we/whoever) like a challenge.

(Or maybe it has something to do with attachment theory, too, but that's too deep for now.)

So this is the issue for me - having a match between what I really want, and it liking me back.

Unlike many guys who would bang anything that's moving, I haven't been with a woman that I am not attracted to. And I will probably keep it that way, even if that means having a "the best or nothing" mindset.

So quit complaining about women having ridiculous/impossible standards.....you are doing the exact same thing.

Water seeks its own level my dear. So if only the "less attractive" girls are into you?

Bingo. You are a "less attractive" guy. Every man wants a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Duh. But how many of those girls are giving you the time of day?

None?

Time to look in the mirror and get really real. Make yourself attractive enough to appeal to the girls you are attracted to......or accept that you are invisible to these girls and pick a woman who is choosing you.

Why is this so bloody dfficult to grasp?

 

[BaronOfHair]

I've always had women who are ready for me, but I have higher standards, and I don't like most of them.

Most PEOPLE are the sort of the scrubs who celebrate The Wire(a nifty series, to be sure)for it's alleged realism and believe that their groaning about the latest Clown In Chief, whoever it might be, "makes a difference"... 90% of humanity ain't worth chatting with for more than 5 minutes, much less trying to bed