Personally I make my name something thats hard to come by. However this thread is about me trying to acquire wisdom from the rest of you. So on that note please share how much you tell a girl about yourself in any situation you find relevant...
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How much do you tell her about yourself
- Thread starter milrenkb
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
There's no cut and dry answer. You need to take into consideration the personality of the woman, your background, the situation, how long you've known each other and a few other things. Although it is a balancing act of telling her enough to allow her to get to know you but just enough that she wants to learn more another time.
Hmmm, well really i only mention my opinions on things or things i've heard, like say if she mentions about where she went on holiday and i've heard of the place i'll say so and motion for her to tell me about it. If she says about an experience she had that was fun i'll mention something similar that happened to a friend of mine, and describe that in great detail. I'll perhaps share little bits about myself, but to be honest i doubt it's more than one minutes worth in an hour.
I always focus on her, the conversation is always steered onto her or her family and friends. Never focused on me if i can help it, and anytime she would ask about me i say as little as i can get away with. I've had years of practice doing that so it doesn't come across as weird... but it annoys the hell out of them, lol. They always end up ready to tell me all their little secrets to hear more about me.
I've always found that weird though, my opinions and views should tell them a lot and yet i always get called mysterious.
I always focus on her, the conversation is always steered onto her or her family and friends. Never focused on me if i can help it, and anytime she would ask about me i say as little as i can get away with. I've had years of practice doing that so it doesn't come across as weird... but it annoys the hell out of them, lol. They always end up ready to tell me all their little secrets to hear more about me.
I've always found that weird though, my opinions and views should tell them a lot and yet i always get called mysterious.
This question is a bit to vaige to probably be useful.
In general you should have some fun conversations. Let her ask the questions about you. If she likes you she will.
There are lots of other things to talk about besides yourself.
In general you should have some fun conversations. Let her ask the questions about you. If she likes you she will.
There are lots of other things to talk about besides yourself.
Good answers so far. However I think I should point out that I'm not looking for a cut and dry answer. I'm very aware that theres more than one way to do things. All I'm trying to do is get a feel for how other guys approach this particular aspect and see if theres anything I can use. No one knows everything, and I'm no exception.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
spitkicker
Don Juan
In any interaction, you want her to do more talking about herself than vice versa. However, you're going to have to be 100% open with her. This does not mean tell her about your life,but you DO have to be 100% open in relating to her and conveying your opinions on a more emotional level.
Why not tell her your name? Who cares? This isn't a chess game, it's a man meeting a woman..
Why not tell her your name? Who cares? This isn't a chess game, it's a man meeting a woman..
spitkicker said:
I have to say I aggree with you on the relating to her aspect you pointed out. As for not telling her my name, I do it in a fun teasing way. I usually tell them my names Ashley and act offended when they laugh. This usually leads to more laughing and by the time the approach is over I'll have bettered my chances of seperating myself from the other guys that might have hit on her that same night.
spitkicker
Don Juan
OK yea, fun and games are cool. I just hate it when guys go overboard with ****y/funny stuff that blatantly screams "I'm insecure and I'm trying to pump attraction by witholding a name, look how good my game is!" If what you're doing is fun for you, getting laughs, and working, im all for it! 
This iz wut i say, "my names ___,"
her : no i don't mena that lyke wut do u like?"
me: " skinny dipping on the weekends"
her: (laughs) serously!"
i honestly don't kno wut to tell her, i just try to keep it interesting
(i don't like to talk about myself)
her : no i don't mena that lyke wut do u like?"
me: " skinny dipping on the weekends"
her: (laughs) serously!"
i honestly don't kno wut to tell her, i just try to keep it interesting
(i don't like to talk about myself)
spitkicker
Don Juan
you have to learn to like to talk about yourself. She's trying to get you to open up, she's making an effort! You have to reward thsi behavior with a serious, thought provoking answer. Women are attracted to attractive men. Attractive men have passions and interests. This is your time to show it, without sounding full of yourself. Be passionate but not arrogant. There's a difference.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.