How much contact do you need?

[RickTheToad]

Lol i hear ya. They are the ones wanting “more contact” though.

Dudes or ladies? I cannot imagine a dude wanting more non-physical contact. It becomes annoying after awhile.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Dudes or ladies? I cannot imagine a dude wanting more non-physical contact. It becomes annoying after awhile.

I agree! It’s my dudes, especially one of them that is requesting i stay in better contact especially when he's away. and to stay “close.”

 

[RickTheToad]

I agree! It’s my dudes, especially one of them that is requesting i stay in better contact especially when he's away. and to stay “close.”

Next. They are going to be too smothering over time. I have a lady doing this to me now. Calls me while I'm at work to say hi. WTF. I know it's from a good place, but it's annoying. There needs to be a happy medium. Let me know when you find it..

 

[ubercat]

Well for a start u say BFs So if that s the setup the guys are idiots if they are chasing too hard. Assuming it's early days. Stop dating idiots.

 

[Julian]

Wow then i am surprised. i have a codependent tendency with the “right “ person (usually another codependent or narcissist) and the relationships are always dramatic and not very healthy. fun and exciting maybe, but not very peaceful. but i still indulge at times

Yeah i was very narcissistic in previous relationships and had my bishes in full submission but they would still act out an go Bpd on me. Ive changed and learned tho. I still do crave a codependant relationship tho

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Well for a start u say BFs So if that s the setup the guys are idiots if they are chasing too hard. Assuming it's early days. Stop dating idiots.

there are people out there that date. i don’t really get the mentality of you must only date one at a time. All 3 of mine also date others. Personally i am not looking for exclusive at this point. One has a primary GF, one is seeing some girls here and there and one has a serious LTR. I am surprised how much monogamy is preached.

 

[RickTheToad]

I still do crave a codependant relationship tho

You should consider seeking help for that. Not something to keep at bay.

 

[Robert28]

Sounds like you are trying to figure out how to do this attention thing correctly to increase your abundance, but thats not going to add to your overall satisfaction, it will just make you anxious, because you're not being authentically you

just be yourself. whomever you are going to enjoy spending time with has to also enjoy spending time with you. do you, let them weed themselves out and understand that what you are left with are the men who actually like who you are.

Why do women always say “just be who you are! Women love that! Be yourself”. If that was the case sosuave would never even exist. Everyone could just be themselves and they would have an abundance of women. No more friend zones, unless you weren’t being your “true self”, then you’d get friend zoned lol

 

[Julian]

You should consider seeking help for that. Not something to keep at bay.

Lol “seek help”. Sorry bro we dont all need to go see therapists for our specific idiosyncrasies. Im self aware. Obviously you arent self aware of the fact you are on the autism spectrum.

 

[sazc]

Why do women always say “just be who you are! Women love that! Be yourself”. If that was the case sosuave would never even exist. Everyone could just be themselves and they would have an abundance of women. No more friend zones, unless you weren’t being your “true self”, then you’d get friend zoned lol

If you don't understand why it's super important to find someone who is happy with exactly who you are right now, I don't have the time to school you. But I will say, be prepared for a world of rejection along the journey of finding out why it's important to be yourself

 

[Robert28]

If you don't understand why it's super important to find someone who is happy with exactly who you are right now, I don't have the time to school you. But I will say, be prepared for a world of rejection along the journey of finding out why it's important to be yourself

Well show me the proof that being your absolute 100% self will get you success with women. Hate to tell you but most women are fake as hell, they are looking for fake acting guys. Why? You thought all those “jerks” were born that way? No ma’am, they learned how to be that to get women and what women respond to. They no longer were “themselves” when they started acting how they act.

By yourself fellas, go ahead and you’ll be back here complaining “why do I always get friend zoned?”lol

 

[sazc]

Well show me the proof that being your absolute 100% self will get you success with women. Hate to tell you but most women are fake as hell, they are looking for fake acting guys. Why? You thought all those “jerks” were born that way? No ma’am, they learned how to be that to get women and what women respond to. They no longer were “themselves” when they started acting how they act.

By yourself fellas, go ahead and you’ll be back here complaining “why do I always get friend zoned?”lol

Your pedeastalyzing pvssy over your personal authenticity

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I tend to match her energy if I enjoy it. If I don't enjoy it or it's getting to be too much I disengage or politely dismiss. How she handles that tends to show her true colors. If she's not needy or butthurt when I want to do my own thing then she gets more attention long term since that shows me she's confident in herself and comfortable with letting me breathe. Some women overthink this and start harboring resentment for having 'put up' with me doing my own thing. I may sternly and politely check them if I think there's potential(most men probably don't, rather they keep quiet and start harboring resentment themselves) but if they don't understand I let these women go since they're trying to make their problems my problems. My disengagement is their lesson. Some understand completely and do their own thing for a while themselves, being pleasant in all interactions with no signs of building resentment, those are the ones I enjoy and allow to get closer. Sometimes it only takes one or two stern checks, and from that point on she's always an angel.

If I enjoy a woman's attention I'll make it known to her with my own good vibe attention because I want to encourage behavior I enjoy. How much of her attention I want varies from woman to woman. The more I enjoy her character/body/mind/soul the more I'll inspire her to be completely open with me. Eventually this blossoms into her holding nothing back and she melts into me completely with all her loving energy. Complete honesty, openness, and bliss. I love facilitating that in a woman that deserves it. This always creates the most satisfying sexual experiences for both of us.

The toughest thing for some girls to realize is that incompatibility does not always mean there's something wrong with her. It may mean her character is simply not compatible with mine at this time. I will naturally inspire the qualities out of her that compliment me. If I inspire something I don't like then that's on me to check or dismiss. It may even be a projection so I'll introspect to make sure I'm coming from a good place. If those qualities aren't there for her at all it's not her fault and she shouldn't try to change if she doesn't want to. Who am I to say what the 'right' way to love is? I simply go after what I desire and believe in. If she disagrees with my ideas I have no intention to force anything.

Be as loving and attentive as your heart tells you to be. Watch how you feel with distance and learn to treat every response with love, even if it's no response(by respecting that distance).

 

[RickTheToad]

Lol “seek help”. Sorry bro we dont all need to go see therapists for our specific idiosyncrasies. Im self aware. Obviously you arent self aware of the fact you are on the autism spectrum.

Co-dependency is not healthy dude. Not critizing, just laying out the facts.

 

[Julian]

Co-dependency is not healthy dude. Not critizing, just laying out the facts.

How dare u judge me. You are very rude and disrespectful for speaking to your superior in that manner.

 

[sazc]

Co-dependency is not healthy dude. Not critizing, just laying out the facts.

You've been around long enough to know they collectively don't care

 

[RickTheToad]

For my buddy @Julian

 

[Spaz]

It's highly dependent on the mode or stage a man is in.

For easy understanding, I'll list a few common mode that males who are successful with females;

1. Early teenage mode - he's all about max looks, has all the latest styles and chases skirts like there's no tomorrow.

2. Late teenage mode - he's not that into maxxed looks because he's now popular and girls are chasing him.

3. Early 20's mode - he's into max presence in clubs/bars and social settings, chases skirts like there's no tomorrow purely to set dominance amongst his males compatriots.

4. Late 20's mode - he's still into max presence but more in favour of cultivating social settings then just clubbing for the sake of women, he has had his fill of women and now seeks something more elusive - success and power.

5. Early 30's mode - Purely geared towards successes in life, women secondary or just a side entertainment.

6. Late 30's mode - Successful men, either just recently married or still single with the aim of growing his sphere of influence to achieve his ultimate goal. Women is still a side entertainment.

7. 40's onwards - Has won many battles and is still standing, but is in a reflective mode, if he's at the pinnacle then it's likely he's now a teacher or mentor of many in his organisation, leading them, empowering people as he goes.

Some men might be 50 but still stuck in early teenage mode, so use ur judgement on how to communicate base on it.

Then there are those feminine men, men so imbued by their mothers teachings, the list above does not apply.

 

[AbleDad]

7. 40's onwards - Has won many battles and is still standing, but is in a reflective mode, if he's at the pinnacle then it's likely he's now a teacher or mentor of many in his organisation, leading them, empowering people as he goes.

Yes, "reflective mode" is correct. I think of it as the "bonus phase". I've achieved the big things that I want in life. The rest is a bonus. What that means, with regards to the OP, is that I prefer minimal drama. A lady shouldn't be bothering me at work or over-texting me. I've got other things to do. In return, she'll have my full attention when we're together.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Yes, "reflective mode" is correct. I think of it as the "bonus phase". I've achieved the big things that I want in life. The rest is a bonus. What that means, with regards to the OP, is that I prefer minimal drama. A lady shouldn't be bothering me at work or over-texting me. I've got other things to do. In return, she'll have my full attention when we're together.

One of my guys is the same as me in that regard. we never “chat” over text, only use it to make plans. i am starting to see and like him more. he’s my age. strangely it’s the older guy (he’s 57 and i am 39) that is asking (demanding) for more contact via text and more closeness.