How much contact do you need?

SeekerOfTheWay

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honestly i still find men so “hard to read.” i think maybe i project a lot or over analyze or insert emotions into it when i shouldn’t.

how much contact do you guys need/want from a girl you are seeing? this includes text and in person. is less more in that it keeps it fresh and builds anticipation? or do you all need closeness and to be reassured we are thinking about you and craving you?

and guidelines or insights here? thanks so much!
 
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Robert28

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Depends on the girl honestly. Some girls I’ve dated I could be around them every single day if I had to be, other times once or twice a week was ALL I could stand. I need a girl to flirt with me and make me feel wanted if we are dating. I get some girls aren’t touchy feely due to past experiences that maybe were bad but if I’m dating a girl and she never flirts with me I find that awkward, especially if she claims she likes me. I don’t mean she has to be all over me constantly but sometimes I feel like I’m flirting more than them and I’m not exactly a grabby type person, but I flirt enough to make you know I want and desire you. I don’t need to text you constantly all day, but if we are dating I want to hear from you every day. I’m a busy guy but I can make time throughout my day for you.
 

AttackFormation

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Depends on the man's psychology and what he's looking for, it's impossible to generalize and I have zero experience dating men so I can't really give or explain any patterns. Personally I just hit a girl up when I feel like being with her and I prefer to communicate affection by touch than by text/words even outside of the bedroom (who doesn't?). I really don't need to text or talk all the time, certainly not every day.
 

Julian

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I like a codependant relationship. Where we are on some ride or die for eachother type chit. My best relationship we actually lived together and even worked closely together for multiple years and shes the one i let go :( I could be around that bish 247 365 and not get sick of her but i wanted my cake and to eat it too
 

Trump

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honestly i still find men so “hard to read.” i think maybe i project a lot or over analyze or insert emotions into it when i shouldn’t.

how much contact do you guys need/want from a girl you are seeing? this includes text and in person. is less more in that it keeps it fresh and builds anticipation? or do you all need closeness and to be reassured we are thinking about you and craving you?
If a man likes the girl, 4x / week
If a man doesn’t like the girl, once / month
 
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SeekerOfTheWay

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I like a codependant relationship. Where we are on some ride or die for eachother type chit. My best relationship we actually lived together and even worked closely together for multiple years and shes the one i let go :( I could be around that bish 247 365 and not get sick of her but i wanted my cake and to eat it too
i think sarcasm but i am bad at detecting that. lol
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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Its not sarcasm lol. -_-
Wow then i am surprised. i have a codependent tendency with the “right “ person (usually another codependent or narcissist) and the relationships are always dramatic and not very healthy. fun and exciting maybe, but not very peaceful. but i still indulge at times
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Wow then i am surprised. i have a codependent tendency with the “right “ (usually another codependent or narcissist) and the relationships are always dramatic and not very healthy. fun and exciting maybe, but not very peaceful. but i still indulge at times
I think we all would like to balance peace with enough excitement.
 

sazc

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Sounds like you are trying to figure out how to do this attention thing correctly to increase your abundance, but thats not going to add to your overall satisfaction, it will just make you anxious, because you're not being authentically you

just be yourself. whomever you are going to enjoy spending time with has to also enjoy spending time with you. do you, let them weed themselves out and understand that what you are left with are the men who actually like who you are.
 
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SeekerOfTheWay

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Sounds like you are trying to figure out how to do this attention thing correctly to increase your abundance, but thats not going to add to your overall satisfaction, it will just make you anxious, because you're not being authentically you

just be yourself. whomever you are going to enjoy spending time with has to also enjoy spending time with you. do you, let them weed themselves out and understand that what you are left with are the men who actually like who you are.
my tendency isn’t normal i think which is why i am asking. i tend to be really distant and reserved and not show a lot of emotion or affection. it’s not healthy and i am trying to find a balance. with my current BFs i could go days without any contact and be fine. but they are not and so i am trying to understand what is considered normal or healthy. i am very much an out of sight, out of mind person and live in the moment. One of my longer BFs has said i need to try harder to stay close and connected. i find it a chore but am trying to see how it works. i FEEL the love and emotion when i am with the person though and i show it then.

I don’t need a lot of attention at all. so i am happy not texting or only seeing a BF once a week or less. it’s hard to find men that want only as little contact as i am happy with so i would like to learn to compromise. i do try and send hearts or check in but apparently for two they feel it’s not enough attention.
 

sazc

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@SeekerOfTheWay it's actually not hard to find men whom are chill being distant, you're just not attracting those types of men into your life. You are attracting more emotional and needy men because you are not that type
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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Normally is like you say it is. Its hot but you cant get along always fighting. Or its calm and your not aroused or energized as much.
THIS for sure! One of my guys the sex is super hot and relationship is exciting but the drama makes me worn out. lol. The other BF is like a cozy slipper but the sexual attraction is not there. i have sex but need the physical to get me going whereas the other BF i am ready just by hearing his voice or having him walk into my apt.
 
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SeekerOfTheWay

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@SeekerOfTheWay it's actually not hard to find men whom are chill being distant, you're just not attracting those types of men into your life. You are attracting more emotional and needy men because you are not that type
Maybe you are right. i attract train wrecks right now i think. lol. It must be vibes i give off or where i am at. Thanks. Something to think about.
 

sazc

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Maybe you are right. i attract train wrecks right now i think. lol. It must be vibes i give off or where i am at. Thanks. Something to think about.
opposites attract b/c we are always trying to heal our childhood wounds
 

mrgoodstuff

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THIS for sure! One of my guys the sex is super hot and relationship is exciting but the drama makes me worn out. lol. The other BF is like a cozy slipper but the sexual attraction is not there. i have sex but need the physical to get me going whereas the other BF i am ready just by hearing his voice or having him walk into my apt.
You pop a lady boner asap. So hard it throbs.
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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Less talk, more action please. Talking and texting is a ladies think. Dudes work and have purpose.
Lol i hear ya. They are the ones wanting “more contact” though.

Do men dislike discussing the relationship? I do tend to do that in person at times.
 
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