Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
if your asking about initial attraction, it was there. i just kind of view dealing with women like an episode of Blind Date, where everything you do is scrutinized and their opinion of you could change at any moment.reset said:
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
A couple people asked that already. I know your goal is for them to impress you, but when your trying to get somewhere with a woman on a date, you can't just sit there and twiddle your thumbs. They have to be attracted to you too. I'm just wondering what their mentality would be, how many dates they would go before they might lose interest (since it can go both ways)Lust said:
Okay, point taken. "Impress" is the wrong word... I mean, how many oppurtunities do you have to attract a girl before (worst case scenario) they might pass on you? In other words, how many dates? Because I feel like the first date or two can be nerve-racking and affect how you come across...Maxtro said:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I'd say it depends on the girl's initial attraction to you.tsmith2334 said:
Solid advice. Like I said, I was undermining the value of initial attraction (which was there... she agreed to get dinner, complimented my beard right off the bat and had great eye contact, among other IOIs).Luveno said:
I feel for you, man. Same story here.tsmith2334 said:
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I belive that women put men into two groups regarding sex. Possible and Impossible. If she puts you in the possible group then it is possible for you to have sex with her. If she puts you in the impossible group then it is impossible for you to have sex with her. The problem is that you can move from the possible group down into impossible and once you are there your pretty much stuck.Luveno said:
That's a pretty solid theory. I'm sure there's alot truth to it. I also wonder how much sex is just spontaenous.
Yea, that's basically the idea behind this post. How many strikes do you get if you really aren't "winning her over"?
I'm trying to figure all this out too! I think if you were EVER in the possible category, then you can return there given the right amount of time. It might take three months, it might take three years. But I think re-joining that group is possible if you were there in the first place. I mean, there is that old expression "rekindling the flame".
I don't know, man. My girl texted me on the way home from our last date saying, "Sweet dreams. Thank you for the fun evening.tsmith2334 said:
" and then blew me off two days later. Good ish. Vibe changes are what's up.Nexus Polaris said:
Ah, thanks for the words of caution. Maybe two days was a little too soon? Did you ask her out again or just contact her? Because on this site I've read you should wait atleast a week to ask her out again.I don't know, man. My girl texted me on the way home from our last date saying, "Sweet dreams. Thank you for the fun evening.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.