That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
On the contrary. She begging me to come back because she seen the error of her ways.user name said:would you let a paedophile babysit your child? even if he begged and vowed never to touch children again?
user name said:would you let a paedophile babysit your child? even if he begged, said he only did it once and vowed never to touch children again?
Oh go on. it was just the one time. I promise i won't do it again.mikey2012 said:NO I WOULDNT LET YOU babysit my child.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
The guy asked a legit question. Stop being a troll!user name said:Oh go on. it was just the one time. I promise i won't do it again.![]()
and i gave a legitimate answer. go play white knight elsewhere.thecreature said:The guy asked a legit question. Stop being a troll!
Go play with your kids then you AFC moron. I can smell your betaness a mile away.user name said:and i gave a legitimate answer. go play white knight elsewhere.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I think the point of this comment is: You've seen someones true colors, they have shown you who they really are whether they be a cheater or a pederast. You cannot trust them again. So why would you take back a cheater?user name said:would you let a paedophile babysit your child? even if he begged, said he only did it once and vowed never to touch children again?
Don_Dom said:Don't do it.
Most men who cheat know they are cheating and that it is wrong, they just choose to do so anyway and live with their consciences. There have even been studies that show that there is even a possible genetic predisposition towards infidelity in men. I heard about this from a childhood friend I reconnected with a few years ago. His grandfather cheated, so did his dad and uncle and so did he. Screwed up every relationship he had until he made a conscioys effort not to. Now he's married and he hasn't cheated, but he says he has to make an effort not to. Bottom line, they know they have a problem.
Women who cheat, though, also have a need to feel good about it. It just simply can't be their fault. It's always your fault for doing or not doing something or the "relationship just wasnt working," otherwise she wouldn't have felt the need to throw a leg for some dude that made her taco tingle. They are chronic RATIONALIZERS, plain and simple, and those are the ones you gotta watch.
Those are the crazies....The psychos capable of anything and blaming it on some complete bull****. Like shotgun you in half because she thought you were "verbally abusive" or drown all 5 of your kids in the bathtub while you are at work because they overwhemed that day her or stab you 50 times and shoot you in the shower because you broke up with her or (my personal favorite) despite being one of the most highly educated, physically conditioned, and emotionally stress tested women on the planet, she might throw a knife, rope, a shovel, and a bag of lime in her trunk, and put on a diaper so she doesn't have to stop on the 12 hour drive to kill her astronaut collegue because she thinks you two might be having an affair. Those are all true stories.
I took back a cheater once and it ended badly with her cheating again. I got blamed, of course. And it was a waste of several years of my life. Given the big picture, I think I got off easy. If you take back a cheater, cheating on you again is the least of your possible worries, imo.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.