"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

How Many of You Still Call for Dates?

CaConfused

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2012
Messages
174
Reaction score
2
Just wondering. I actually met this incredibly hot 35 yr old.

And I'm going to ask her out tonight and since we're both of the age where people used to call on phones... should I?

I just pause a bit because I have given younger women a call for dates and you can tell that they are literally stunned.

So tell me. What percentage do you call vs text for dates? And what age range?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
5,512
Reaction score
5,692
It doesn't matter. If she's interested in you, she will respond positively to either a call or text. Don't overanalyze simple steps.
 

Lord Hypnos

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2013
Messages
73
Reaction score
5
calling is better because you can screen her interest level much better than you can via texting. can you hear her tone of voice over a text? with a text, can you tell if she is excited to hear from you, or if is she hesitant when you make your pitch? it's also good to build some rapport before a date. all these things allow you to screen her better, which saves you time. texting puts you into the orbiter/girlfriend category automatically. but go ahead and be a trendy hipster and txt her, make sure to include a smiley :cheer: and lolz :crackup: :crackup:
 

visions

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 3, 2013
Messages
232
Reaction score
23
Age
39
i believe the consensus is that the younger people (as mostly pushed by women) prefer texting vs calling.

in your shoes I'd call.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

pdx1138

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
1,298
Reaction score
52
I'd call, but the last group of (met online) dates I've been on they all only gave me their number right before meeting up. Just in case something came up last minute.

I asked 2 of them for their number well before that but they just ignored the request. Both told me later they'd been harassed too often when it didn't work out and 1 had to change her number.
 

plate's_empty

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 4, 2013
Messages
476
Reaction score
13
Location
California
Lord Hypnos said:
calling is better because you can screen her interest level much better than you can via texting. can you hear her tone of voice over a text? with a text, can you tell if she is excited to hear from you, or if is she hesitant when you make your pitch? it's also good to build some rapport before a date. all these things allow you to screen her better, which saves you time. texting puts you into the orbiter/girlfriend category automatically. but go ahead and be a trendy hipster and txt her, make sure to include a smiley :cheer: and lolz :crackup: :crackup:
^^Agreed. Great explanation.

I like to call as well. If I've never met them(online date) or a follow up on a random one night stand, I'll usually text a few times but I like to call before we meet up. Bridges a gap, makes her feel more comfortable. Plus, If she's on the fence about meeting you a call is easier to bring her back on board.

Also, if you two start getting into a good, long conversation, that definitely helps, but don't make it too long, and try to end it when it's at it's peak. (PUA 101) Leave her wanting more. Gets her juices flowing about the date....."hmmm maybe I will trim my bush tonight"
 

Uncharted

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2013
Messages
740
Reaction score
47
Location
Brooklyn, NY
I've done both with success. Usually texting when I know the person less or never see them in person.

What do you guys think about a girl that doesn't answer the phone when you call? I've only tried to call once and she texted me back an hour later - but didn't call me back. I see her in person a lot so either I will just wait until I see her or just send a text.
 

lamobatsman

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
238
Reaction score
4
Uncharted said:
I've done both with success. Usually texting when I know the person less or never see them in person.

What do you guys think about a girl that doesn't answer the phone when you call? I've only tried to call once and she texted me back an hour later - but didn't call me back. I see her in person a lot so either I will just wait until I see her or just send a text.

thats a good question and i want to know this answer too! does this mean they not intersted??
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

plate's_empty

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 4, 2013
Messages
476
Reaction score
13
Location
California
Uncharted said:
I've done both with success. Usually texting when I know the person less or never see them in person.

What do you guys think about a girl that doesn't answer the phone when you call? I've only tried to call once and she texted me back an hour later - but didn't call me back. I see her in person a lot so either I will just wait until I see her or just send a text.

Depends on what I've got going on. If I'm not outcome dependent I won't return the text. Wait for her to get the point and call back. If I'm playing her silly little game until we meet, then I'll text back. If she doesn't bring up the call I'll be sure to mention it though. Make sure she knows I'm not a pushover and am going to let her ignore my calls like nothing happened. Nip that in the bud right away.
 

Zerro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
570
Reaction score
24
TheException said:
Texting is optimum for college age. I never call.
I don't call anymore either, not for a couple years now. If a text (which is what young women prefer these days) doesn't work then she's not interested enough and a call isn't going to help.

As for a mid-30's woman like the OP is describing though I can't say.
 

BigSmooth

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2011
Messages
374
Reaction score
17
Location
Texas
If your interaction with her up to this point has been on-game and solid, texting or calling her won't really make a difference.

Likewise, if a girl has no interest in you whatsoever, shooting her a call instead of a text won't magically make her do a 360 degree turn-around.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Sandow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2007
Messages
930
Reaction score
40
Location
CA
Bokanovsky said:
It doesn't matter. If she's interested in you, she will respond positively to either a call or text. Don't overanalyze simple steps.
I don't know, girls will freak out if you call nowadays. I always text and works every time. I've called before, and it's gotten awkward a few times. I suppose phone calls are a little too personal and aggressive for the girl on a first date.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,246
Reaction score
232
Location
NYC
If you've talked to her face to face calling shouldn't be an issue. However, the time when you do can be a factor. 2pm during a workday would be bad. She wouldn't answer. After 7 pm? I'd say a lot better. And I agree with hearing the voice. It is a great measure of interest. That is IF she actually picks up. These bıtches nowadays look at the phone, go "Ew!" and don't answer it.

Texting is a free-for-all. You can do it any time, but you may wait hours for a reply (that in itself is also a measure of interest).

So, text during the day, call in the evening when you think she is out of work and free to talk. Or hell, mix it up; if she's interested in you you can send smoke signals and she'll be right there with a toaster and a blanket answering you on the other side of town. If she thinks you're dogshıt, she'll ignore a bullhorn in her ear.
 

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
3,197
Reaction score
140
Last time I dated a 37 y.o, she preferred TXTing to calling. It's not how old they are, it's what year it is, and right now calling is not in fashion. Back before smart phones became popular, I used to call all the time because I hated SMS (still do), and it was not a problem with the (interested) girls, including young ones (18~23 university age was and are my prime targets). Now calling is considered too much too soon, just like, say a dinner date, so I TXT instead.

On a related note, back then booty call was literally a call, now it's actually a booty TXT. :D
 

PapiChulo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
1,283
Reaction score
61
Location
Canada, eh?
That is certainly a part of today's zeitgeist. I sometimes wish I could travel back in time to the year of 1998.
 

HedoRick

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2013
Messages
233
Reaction score
9
Location
Hedonism II
For chicks I meet online, I find that a screening call helps reduce flakes and get them to meet up with me. For chicks I meet in person, I go the texting route. That's just been my experience though...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top