"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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How Many of You Still Call for Dates?

CaConfused

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Just wondering. I actually met this incredibly hot 35 yr old.

And I'm going to ask her out tonight and since we're both of the age where people used to call on phones... should I?

I just pause a bit because I have given younger women a call for dates and you can tell that they are literally stunned.

So tell me. What percentage do you call vs text for dates? And what age range?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Bokanovsky

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It doesn't matter. If she's interested in you, she will respond positively to either a call or text. Don't overanalyze simple steps.
 

Lord Hypnos

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calling is better because you can screen her interest level much better than you can via texting. can you hear her tone of voice over a text? with a text, can you tell if she is excited to hear from you, or if is she hesitant when you make your pitch? it's also good to build some rapport before a date. all these things allow you to screen her better, which saves you time. texting puts you into the orbiter/girlfriend category automatically. but go ahead and be a trendy hipster and txt her, make sure to include a smiley :cheer: and lolz :crackup: :crackup:
 

visions

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i believe the consensus is that the younger people (as mostly pushed by women) prefer texting vs calling.

in your shoes I'd call.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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pdx1138

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I'd call, but the last group of (met online) dates I've been on they all only gave me their number right before meeting up. Just in case something came up last minute.

I asked 2 of them for their number well before that but they just ignored the request. Both told me later they'd been harassed too often when it didn't work out and 1 had to change her number.
 

plate's_empty

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Lord Hypnos said:
calling is better because you can screen her interest level much better than you can via texting. can you hear her tone of voice over a text? with a text, can you tell if she is excited to hear from you, or if is she hesitant when you make your pitch? it's also good to build some rapport before a date. all these things allow you to screen her better, which saves you time. texting puts you into the orbiter/girlfriend category automatically. but go ahead and be a trendy hipster and txt her, make sure to include a smiley :cheer: and lolz :crackup: :crackup:
^^Agreed. Great explanation.

I like to call as well. If I've never met them(online date) or a follow up on a random one night stand, I'll usually text a few times but I like to call before we meet up. Bridges a gap, makes her feel more comfortable. Plus, If she's on the fence about meeting you a call is easier to bring her back on board.

Also, if you two start getting into a good, long conversation, that definitely helps, but don't make it too long, and try to end it when it's at it's peak. (PUA 101) Leave her wanting more. Gets her juices flowing about the date....."hmmm maybe I will trim my bush tonight"
 

Uncharted

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I've done both with success. Usually texting when I know the person less or never see them in person.

What do you guys think about a girl that doesn't answer the phone when you call? I've only tried to call once and she texted me back an hour later - but didn't call me back. I see her in person a lot so either I will just wait until I see her or just send a text.
 

lamobatsman

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Uncharted said:
I've done both with success. Usually texting when I know the person less or never see them in person.

What do you guys think about a girl that doesn't answer the phone when you call? I've only tried to call once and she texted me back an hour later - but didn't call me back. I see her in person a lot so either I will just wait until I see her or just send a text.

thats a good question and i want to know this answer too! does this mean they not intersted??
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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plate's_empty

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Uncharted said:
I've done both with success. Usually texting when I know the person less or never see them in person.

What do you guys think about a girl that doesn't answer the phone when you call? I've only tried to call once and she texted me back an hour later - but didn't call me back. I see her in person a lot so either I will just wait until I see her or just send a text.

Depends on what I've got going on. If I'm not outcome dependent I won't return the text. Wait for her to get the point and call back. If I'm playing her silly little game until we meet, then I'll text back. If she doesn't bring up the call I'll be sure to mention it though. Make sure she knows I'm not a pushover and am going to let her ignore my calls like nothing happened. Nip that in the bud right away.
 

Zerro

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TheException said:
Texting is optimum for college age. I never call.
I don't call anymore either, not for a couple years now. If a text (which is what young women prefer these days) doesn't work then she's not interested enough and a call isn't going to help.

As for a mid-30's woman like the OP is describing though I can't say.
 

BigSmooth

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If your interaction with her up to this point has been on-game and solid, texting or calling her won't really make a difference.

Likewise, if a girl has no interest in you whatsoever, shooting her a call instead of a text won't magically make her do a 360 degree turn-around.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Sandow

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Bokanovsky said:
It doesn't matter. If she's interested in you, she will respond positively to either a call or text. Don't overanalyze simple steps.
I don't know, girls will freak out if you call nowadays. I always text and works every time. I've called before, and it's gotten awkward a few times. I suppose phone calls are a little too personal and aggressive for the girl on a first date.
 

VladPatton

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If you've talked to her face to face calling shouldn't be an issue. However, the time when you do can be a factor. 2pm during a workday would be bad. She wouldn't answer. After 7 pm? I'd say a lot better. And I agree with hearing the voice. It is a great measure of interest. That is IF she actually picks up. These bıtches nowadays look at the phone, go "Ew!" and don't answer it.

Texting is a free-for-all. You can do it any time, but you may wait hours for a reply (that in itself is also a measure of interest).

So, text during the day, call in the evening when you think she is out of work and free to talk. Or hell, mix it up; if she's interested in you you can send smoke signals and she'll be right there with a toaster and a blanket answering you on the other side of town. If she thinks you're dogshıt, she'll ignore a bullhorn in her ear.
 

Jitterbug

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Last time I dated a 37 y.o, she preferred TXTing to calling. It's not how old they are, it's what year it is, and right now calling is not in fashion. Back before smart phones became popular, I used to call all the time because I hated SMS (still do), and it was not a problem with the (interested) girls, including young ones (18~23 university age was and are my prime targets). Now calling is considered too much too soon, just like, say a dinner date, so I TXT instead.

On a related note, back then booty call was literally a call, now it's actually a booty TXT. :D
 

PapiChulo

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Canada, eh?
That is certainly a part of today's zeitgeist. I sometimes wish I could travel back in time to the year of 1998.
 

HedoRick

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For chicks I meet online, I find that a screening call helps reduce flakes and get them to meet up with me. For chicks I meet in person, I go the texting route. That's just been my experience though...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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